Blogs for bigtom77.

What's up with that?

17-MAR-09

Hi all, This blog is not meant to offend anyone and I hope it doesn't, but I have been thinking about this for a while. This is more about another dating site that shall remain nameless but I do know some here FISH there too. What's up with women having things on their profile about not looking for just sex yet their pic is subjective. Now don't get me wrong, I like a good cleavage shot as much as the next guy and I say show your assets, if you got it flaunt it. The pics I'm talking about are the ones that go low enough to ALMOST show more then cleavage, the ones that show enough to tell for sure that your toppless if not nude. I have also seen swimsuits so small they are only legal in Europe. (ok I lie a little) I guess what I'm trying to say is if a lady has a pic of themself sitting at their computer showing enough that it seems your toppless then most men are going to think this is a woman I can see her stuff on cam. I'm sorry but that's the way men think (don't think I have been trying to cam with someone I'm just saying lol). I was talking to a friend yesterday and she reminded me that it is said that men think about sex every 13 seconds. With all that thinking we don't need help with pics like that. The point here is if you want to find love then stop looking like your willing to be a one night stand or less. Again, I hope I didn't offend, good luck all---Tom

11/28/08

14-MAR-09

Weird title ain't it? You see that's the last time I posted a blog on here and untill a few days ago 12/24/08 was the last time I commented on someone else's blog. Dang, it seems like years. You all will never know what I have been through in the last two months for 2 reasons #1)It's personal and #2) It would show that someone here was right and I will not give her the satifition =). Like I said it seems like a lot longer then 3 months but I have been checking in from time to time to read but not replying, I wanted to welcome all the new blogers and say hello to my old friends. I have a few friends from this site that droppedoff the face of the earth, I'm talking about some I had really gotten to know, I hope their being gone means they found the love of their life b/c it seems that it's always either that or discouragement that makes people leave the blogs and stop talking to friends. Well, I just droped by to say I am back so you can look forward to reading some more crap from me. Sorry, had to say that. Good luck to you all---Tom

Thanksgiving

26-NOV-08

Just a quick note to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. For those hitting the stores early on Friday, be careful.---Tom

Ray and Bubba. . .

18-NOV-08

Ray and Bubba were standing at the base of a flagpole looking up when a woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We suppose to figure out the height of this here pole" Bubba said "but we ain't got no ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. She reached back into her purse, pulled out a tape measure, took a measurement and announced, "eighteen foot six inches", then walked away. Ray watched he go then started laughing and shaking his head, "ain't that just like a woman?" "Here we is needing the height and she gives us the length." It is rumored that Ray and Bubba now work for the government.

How's Your Heart??

15-NOV-08

I posted a comment to another blog just a while ago and my own words got me to thinking. Everyone that reads the blogs regularly knows that I am not long out of a long, off and on, bad relationship. I was asked, after I had written a comment on a blog, to show my profile again. I guess I must have said something right that day, but if not for being asked to do it I would still have my profile hid. I know I am not ready for love yet, I have talked to some great ladies on this site and have become friends with a few, but I think they also know I am not ready. I am happy to say I am still getting better everyday and like I have said before I know I will get there. Now to the point,(I bet you were wondering if there was one lol) how many of you are here, on a dating site, but you are not really ready to date yet? I know I would not be here yet if I had not already been a member before my nine month mistake. Some of you know I did date during the two years between the divorce and her coming back but I wasn't ready. I even dated one lady from this site for eleven months of those two years, lucky for me she NOW understands that I wasn't ready and she and I have become friends, besides she found the man of her dreams she said so I guess it was good I wasn't there when that happened.:) I do not expect anyone to answer this one to the LF world but ask yourself: How's your heart? Are you really ready to love again? There is nothing wrong with seeing what's out there and making friends to try to become more later but are you really ready?

What do the ladies think?

07-NOV-08

Hi all, There has been a lot of blogs lately about romance or relating to romance. I read an article today from esquire about what makes a good first date. They said bringing flowers is no longer the right way to go. They go on to say a trinket bought at a dollar store is the way to go these days. So I think you see the question I'm asking you ladies. If you had a first date tonight (not a first meeting but a real date) would you be upset if your date brought you flowers?

Walking Your New Road.

13-NOV-08

Well, I told you it was coming and here it is. I hope to keep this one shorter (I can't believe y'all read that book I wrote lol)but I can't guarantee it. We all know the things I am about to say but a lot of us here are divorced so SOMEBODY forgot them. When you meet the one you decide to take on as your life partner, well first off take the time to get to know them. There are so many couples that do not last simply because they do not know each other before making what should be a life long commitment. Now, you know them well, you have dated for a while and maybe even had a long engagement (something I did but it didn't help), so now it's time to start your walk together. Remember this folks, this walk is not an easy one. As we walk hand in hand, guess what, there's them dang crossroads. Sometimes these crossroads are not four way stops, yep thats right it's either left or right, so what to do then? A lot of people I know that are divorced are so because of these situations. Why, you may ask, that's an easy one, they may have decided the new path together but they are no longer holding hands. That's my point of this story, it's not enough to walk together but you must be together. Theres a lot of times on this road of life that our path follows close to another of those people that are right for us (see Crossroads blog if you have not already). What are we to do when this happens, thats also easy if were willing to do it, if you are already holding the hand of your partner then just look down, let your eyes move from the hand your holding up the arm attached and look at the face of the one that won your heart to start with.(sappy huh?) I think if we take this walk together we should make every decision together. Have you ever seen those old TV shows like Leave It To Beaver, where Ward would come home and announce, "my boss will be here in about an hour"? Soooooo wrong. Every couple face the bigger things together but it's the little side roads that make the difference in the life of a couple, if you are not walking completely together (I'm tired of saying holding hands) it is real easy for one, the other or both to stray down a side road. Once these side roads are taken there is a big chance that your two roads never completely intersect again. There is an answer to this problem also, they will come close enough for the two of you to grab hold and pull each other back to the main road again, the main problem with this plan is too many people have too much pride to admit their on the wrong path so they will not work on getting back to the main road again. OK folks at this point I did a preview and noticed I had written another book so I will come to the end soon. I hope someone out there is getting something from all these rambling thoughts of mine, there is a lot of stuff going on in my head right now, and I thought I had killed all my brain cells when I was younger. Those few little guys that are left are busy right now so I wouldn't count on this being my lat blog along this line. I hope each of us here find someone to make us happy, that we accept these people's flaws (sounds like another blog) and walk the new path hand in hand and make it work...Till death does you part. I better stop now...later---Tom

Crossroads

11-NOV-08

Hi all, I am just sitting here early, very early, on a Tuesday morning, nothing on the tube, so I have my music playing and the old songs are making me think about where I was When the song was "big". I guess I'm also thinking that every place I was I made a choice to be there. Everything we do in life is a choice, a "crossroad" we must face. So what if I had gone down a different path at each of these crossroads? What if I had not quit that job when I was 24 to start another, where would I be now? What if I had not married my ex, would I have found someone that would have stayed with me forever or would I still be alone? I will admit I was very shy when I met her and she helped me come out of that shell. the guy I was then would have never be putting something like this out for the world to see, so I guess it's true that good things come from everything. I think what I am trying to get to is this--have you ever thought where you would be with a small change in your past? A few weeks ago Ram wrote a blog about depression, well I have been there also. I allowed myself to be transfered to another city years ago and for some reason I hated, really HATED the city I went to live and work in and thus started my years of deep, but hidden, depression so what if I had not gone? Just think how all the small things we decide to or not to do can become such big things down the road. There is no one crossroad (decision)that I can say for sure would have changed my life for the better or the worse, but the thing is I don't know what entirely different life decision (crossroad) I would have faced if I had just taken another road years back. We all face these crossroads everyday, sometimes we don't realize it was a crossroad till years later when you say what if I had done or not done this small thing. I have to wonder that if any of you realize that when you joined this site you were at a crossroad? you could have decided to join another site, decided to keep looking on your own or even decided to just live with being alone. There are 100 plus success stories on this site, what if they had not joined here, would they have ever met or would they have found someone else to make them just as happy? Whoever it was that said there's someone for everyone had to be wrong because with every decision leading down a new road there must be more then one someone for everyone or all these crossroads would never lead to the ONE somebody. we just have to accept the road were on and find the one for you whose road is running side by side with yours at that time you both need to decide to start a whole new road together and always walk that road together. That is a whole different blog there. (coming soon I do believe). Choose your roads carefully folks, you have to walk it for a long time. Good luck to each and everyone here, happy choosing---Tom

Two Dating Jokes

03-NOV-08

Any Objections? Brad had a blind date with Ashley for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself attracted to her more and more. After some really passionate embracing, he said, "Tell me, do you object to making love?" "That's something I have never done before," Ashley replied. "Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Brad was amazed. "No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!" First Date A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the boy. "I really should ave mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex," she said. The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

The problem with romance.

28-OCT-08

A few days ago smin2u posted a question about what romance is, I think you know that.lol I posted a couple of replies to this blog but afterwords my own words got me to thinking. I guess if you read what I wrote then you now know I believe in romance, but ladies, I want to point out some problems I have ran into with romance over the years. I am in no way saying it's bad to romance someone but I did give a few pointers so now it's counterpoint time. A few years back (between the divorce and taking her back) I was with someone I met on here. One night a few weeks after we had taken the big step and started sleeping together, I decided to try something that I thought she would like. Before I go on here I just want to say I am not saying these things here to make anyone think I am Casanova or anything like that but the things I say are things I have done. She went to take her bath and I thought it would be nice to bathe her, no details but she did enjoy it. ;) The problem started a few nights later when she asked me to bathe her again, I was flattered then that I had found something she had liked and put it on my mental list as something to do at special times. She started asking more and more until she got to where she expected me to do this. I guess what I am saying here is do not turn a romantic gesture into a chore. The same woman also started expecting the back rubs (witch I give out to the one I am with freely and often) but if you expect things everyday it is now a chore. Katwoman wants a candlelight dinner, a simple enough show of love and affection but if Kat had dinner by candlelight 4 or 5 times a week it would become routine soon and not special to her. Another problem that I have found, this one may not ever be done by any other woman but my ex wife is who I am thinking of here. I don't know just how to put this one, maybe I overdid the romance over the years (I personally think there can not be too much, but I will never know) but romance does not mean "you have to sleep with me right now". Yes, sometimes it is meant to lead to sex but please ladies do not think that the only reason you are getting romanced is to get you into bed. Some guys are not like that, I would never sleep with someone I don't have have feelings for and I will not make a big romantic move without feelings involved also. OK I got off track but the thing I am saying here is do not read things into what your man is doing. There is a bunch of jokes about if your man brings flowers home he is doing something wrong, this could be true but it could also be he was just thinking about you, so like I said unless you have reason to think otherwise think of the little things as good things. Well, I got that one out, not sure if I put anything in a way to be understood but bottom line is 1) Don't expect the same thing everyday or it won't be special anymore 2) Don't look at what he does for you as a way out of trouble or a way in to the bedroom.---Tom

CONFUCIUS SAY:

21-OCT-08

Popular sayings from a wise man! Confucius say... 1. Man who run in front of car get tired. 2. Man who run behind car get exhausted. 3. Man with one chopstick go hungry. 4. Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails. 5. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. 6. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls can not walk. 7. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. 8.Crowded elevator smell different to little people. 9.Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. 10. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. 11. It take many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it. 12. Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. Hope you enjoy---Tom

It Just Ain't Right

17-OCT-08

I just finished watching the news and I am upset. Here in MS there was a guy arrested a few days ago for texting a twelve (12) year old girl for sex. This guy got out of jail this morning because the arresting officer forgot to sign the warrant. It just ain't right. A few years ago a guy in north MS was set loose on the same grounds after he committed rape, thats right the worst thing that can be done, and he went home cause a guy forgot to sign something. It just ain't right. Don't get me wrong, I love this country and think most of our laws that are set in place to protect people are good, but this ain't right. I have heard stories about people that kill others but don't go to prison for years because their high price lawyers keep finding ways to delay things. I am wondering would it be possible to get a cop on your side and set up the unsigned paper? I am friends with a lot of the cops here and even kin with some, so maybe I should start a crime spree, get someone to "lose" some important evidence or something. Anyway, we have people that blog from other countries so I was wondering, do y'all have these laws that will let people get away with anything if all the I's aren't dotted or the T's crossed, or do your laws go the other way and people that are not guilty end up going to jail just because they aren't liked by the cops. I would like to hear how things work in other places as well as other Americans ranting. It can't be just me that thinks it just ain't right.---Tom

SMALL WHITE DOT

13-OCT-08

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was. 'It's a period,' he replied. 'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so exciting about a period? 'Darned if I know,' he said, 'but this morning my sister was missing one, my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy'.

Underware Dust

13-OCT-08

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the h@ll is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?' She replied ...'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow' It's not funny. Enjoy---Tom

Ultimate Female Joke.

12-OCT-08

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven a tall,exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman Could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as any man would). Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for only $20.00" he whispered "on one condition." Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said.... "Clean my house." HA! I hope y'all enjoy this as much as I did---Tom

Sharing! A Love Story!

12-OCT-08

Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwords. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm Hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times. Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you. Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate. Husband: You don't love me anymore. Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight. Husband: Please...come on Wife: Alright, I'll do it. Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight? Wife: I can't find it. Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it! Wife: There! Are you satisfied? Husband: Oh, yes. Wife: Is it up far enough? Husband: ! Oh, that's good. Wife: Now go to sleep, and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself. Now, what were you expecting? I could see those sick minds working out there. Hope y'all enjoy---Tom

GOTTA GO!!

08-OCT-08

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten a little over-enthusiastic with the Bacardi this time. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in a cemetery they were walking by. They searched their purses but found nothing to wipe with, one woman decided she would just remove her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the woman's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girl's nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her a$$ that said..... "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you." Enjoy---Tom

WOMEN ARE LIKE...

06-OCT-08

Here are a few I found, some are not bad. Women are like...the stock market They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful. Women are like...computers They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one. Women are like...Saran Wrap Useful but clingy. Women are like...horses Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after. Women are like...parking meters If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences. Women are like...fax machines Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights. Women are like...political campaign contributors If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them. Women are like...refrigerators They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one. Women are like...blue jeans They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced. Women are like...country western songs If you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

Healing....

03-OCT-08

Or I've finally just had enough. Those of you that were here when I was on before know the entire story of most of my adult life as it involved "her". I have come to know some nice people here and can't say enough good things about what being to post here and get real honest feedback from y'all means to me. I am happy yet sad at the same time to say that I am going to get over "her" this time. I did something today I never could after she first left, over 2 years that I couldn't even think about "our" song (More Than Words). Today I heard it on the radio and there was no tears, no sad feelings and I even love the song again. I no longer sit here wondering where she is and if she is thinking of me, I hope she is not. I guess the past nine months is just what I needed because I think I would have always wondered but now I know. This part is kinda weird I think but with the separation and divorce I know exactly how long she was gone (2 years 1 month and 8 days) this time it has been less than a month but I already can't tell you what day she left. I now know I will get over her and learn to go on without her. I am, of course, not ready to do so yet but I know it will happen. I know I will still have those days when it will hurt until I find someone to fill my heart again, but I know I can handle them, I know y'all will help me handle them. I want to thank all of you that have helped till now and those that will help when I have those days. I hope I can help you also when you too need help. Thanks much love and happy searching to you all.---Tom

I'm talking to my fellow "men" here.

01-OCT-08

You ladies can read also, I won't mind. I have been reading the blogs for a few days now and am starting to see a pattern from a few certain guys on here. I wish this one was still here because I would like to tell him a few things but he has chosen to take his toys and go home, I will however ask you ladies this--could you really see yourself in a relationship with someone that quotes his IQ to you every chance he gets? I have not read anything he wrote except the boxes where some have quoted him yet he still pi$$es me off. To another guy here, I want to say his name so bad but I will use a little decorum here. I those that word because that is what he seems to lack decorum and tact. I looked at your profile and saw that you are a grown man of (almost gave it away who I'm talking to) lets just say you are older than me yet you say things to the ladies here that a 15 year old knows better than say, one with a proper upbringing anyway. Maybe this is just the southern coming out in me but I was reared to be a gentleman and this includes treating a lady like a lady (in public anyway lol). you start most of your post well but you seem to not know where to start. There is more than one time this happened but the one that inspired this post is this. One of the ladies ask for an opinion, nothing more, you gave a nice compliment but also add that she is not for you. ( still love y'all tho) Anyway, you should have stopped with the compliment. The only time to tell a lady she is not for you is if she winks at you and even then I think you should be ready with a reason why just in case. The reason I say this part is if it's something about the profile tell her, if it's her looks don't tell her. See thats how it works, it's called thinking, it hurts but we all get over it. (I love that joke). Anyway, the ladies on this site are not the type to let this go so several comments are made about you then you just pick up your shovel and dig that hole you are in deeper. From the comments you come back with it is apparent you are either embarrassed, pi$$ed or both, LET IT GO. You have 3 choices here 2 are good one is bad you seem to always take the one bad one. You can either apologize, just let it drop or fight back, you always fight back. Not good. I seek not to embarrass anyone but to pass on what I hope is wisdom. I want you guys to know that all these ladies know about you is what you put on here through profiles and anywhere you decide to speak on the site. I will admit that some of the ladies seem to be looking for a reason to squabble all the time (yes I know I'm gonna get it for that one.) Think guys, thats all I'm saying, It's not that hard to hit the Preview button down there and read what you are about to put out there for the world to read. I think I can give all the men here a little piece of advice about this, ask butter, he seems to know how to think with his upper head (I said upper instead of bigger cause I don't know him like that HA!). I just hope the guy I'm speaking of here figures out its him and takes this to heart instead of pushing back like is his normal pattern.Good luck to all---Tom (my typing finger hurts now I need to reboot)

Question about the blogs

29-SEP-08

Hi everyone, I guess they started this free membership thingie while I was gone so I was wondering if maybe y'all know more about it. 1st Who decides if they are QUALITY comments and what makes a quality comment-ok you don't need to answer the second half of that one. 2nd-Can I decide when to use this week free or do they? 3rd-Can I get more then one or is this a get 1 ever offer? 4th-If I can get more than one can I string them together to make a month free? For those of you that are asking why doesn't he just read the FAQ about the blogs to get his answers(you know who you are). Well I don't want to,hows that? I would like to thank you in advance for the (hopefully) quality comments you put here.---Tom

Here we go again!

27-SEP-08

Hi everyone, This is the blog I thought I would never write. Those of you that read my last blog know that I had started dating my ex wife after two years of being divorced. It was on February 21st of this year that I put my profile in hiding and wrote that I thought she and I was going to make it this time, well I guess not. I, at least, figured out why she keeps leaving me but that's something I am not ready to talk about on here yet. I know I am not ready to show my profile yet but I am hoping that working the blogs will help me to start to heal. I see some of the same people on here and to them I say Hello. I also see some new people and to them I say welcome to LF and good luck on your search. There was some people on here I had started becoming friends with and as a result of trying to make her happy I let these people slip out of my life, to them (ok the truth to her) I can only say I am so sorry. My wish for this person as well as my ex is much happiness. Looking forward to meeting new and old friends---Tom

Logging on

28-FEB-08

Hi all, I am at a public computer now cause my computer has been saying site not responding for 3 or 4 days now. I was thinking they had shut us down. See y'all when this gets fixed for me.---Tom

Hi All

21-FEB-08

For those that didn't read it already I am now dating my ex wife. I think things are going to work this time. I just wanted y'all to know I am hiding my profile but I will still be around to post a joke now and then. I wish all of you well and may you find the one that makes you happy.

Should children witness childbirth ?????

18-FEB-08

Should children witness childbirth?? ????????? Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......

What Not To Say To Your Valentine...

13-FEB-08

These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowls empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face. I love your smile, your face, your eyes- Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. My love, you take my breath away. But what have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "go to hell!" What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Rambling Thoughts

22-JAN-08

First of all sorry that it's been a while since I posted, got a lot going on here. Here's a few random thoughts for y'all to think about. Earth first-We'll ruin the other planets later. Learn from your parent's mistakes-use birth control. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Conserve water-shower with a friend. Never judge a book by it's movie. I love animals-they taste great. Work is for people that don't know how to fish. I think some people's gene pool needs a filter. Always remember you are unique-just like everybody else. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 99.5% of all lawyers gives the rest of them a bad name. Why do Psychics have to ask you your name? Few women admit their age-few men act theirs. I hope y,all enjoy.

Tureabout Is Fair Play

13-JAN-08

By now I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: You Just Might be a Blueneck if: 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside." 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits. 5. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled. 6. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. 7. You've never seen a live chicken and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. 8. You have no idea what a polecat is. 9. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle. 10. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. 11. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. 12. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys" even if both of them are women. 13. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent. 14. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show. 15. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. 16. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. 17. You call binoculars opera glasses. 18. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. 19. You don't know anyone with at least two-first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, etc.) 20. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. 21. You can do your laundry without quarters. 22. None of your fur coats are homemade

Stop Playing Games With My Heart

31-DEC-07

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

A Saint's Spelling Bee

31-DEC-07

A woman who died found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?" To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked. "Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice." The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-o-v-e." St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom. "I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?" St. Peter reassured her, and instructed the woman to simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done. So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaring around her when a man approaches the gates. She realizes it is her husband. "What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?" Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so drunk when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?" To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first." "What word?" he asked. The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia."

Happy New Year!

28-DEC-07

I know it's not quite here but it's close and Tom has a busy weekend coming up. I just wanted to wish you all a good weekend and the best 2008 you can make it. I hope everyone here remembers they are not the only ones here with problems and think of others too. Know that you are not the center of the world and try to help someone else too. I also hope I can remember this from time to time also. Make the best of the new year all. Good luck to all---Tom

Study On Womens A$$es

27-DEC-07

There was a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their a$$es. The results were pretty interesting: 1. 5% of women surveyed feel their a$$ is too big. 2. 10% of women surveyed feel their a$$ is too small. 3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.

Chat Problems

26-DEC-07

Is anyone else having problems with the chat window freezing their computer. I hope the one that wanted to chat with me tonight doesn't think I'm stuck up now. I can't even open the window to see who is online now or the PM window tries to open and freezes me again. I'm just wondering if this is LF or my computer.

Foot Dragging

26-DEC-07

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other hooks his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back." Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon. "You bet," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's knickers off!" "What's the rush?" his mate asked. "The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

Christmas ;07

25-DEC-07

Well it's official now Christmas day has come and gone. I was just sitting here and thinking (no the headache is not too bad) how much I hope everyone here had a good one. It's over and now its time to look forward to a new year. What is 2008 going to be like? Well, if I could answer this I could be making some money with my own Psychic network. lol I wish you all the best in the year to come. Remember we make things what they are, look for all the little things that happen in our life that if noticed can change our lives. Don't just look for BIG things to happen it's the small things that make the difference. Some of my good friends had a Christmas baby this year. She was not due yet but as some of you know they come out when their ready. These are some special people and in my life and it makes me happy for them. Baby and mom are both doing fine and I wish them well. I will be heading to see her tomorrow, I love babies and like spoiling other peoples. Maybe thats why I was never blessed with my own, they would be more spoiled then some of the ladies on here. Just joking all, no hate mail, ok. I just want to say thanks to all of you on here that helped me get over the things that I went thru in 2007. With luck and blessings I hope not to need y'all as much. I will be here looking for more jokes to post for y'all. I thought about naming some of you as the ones that really helped me thru but I am scared I will leave someone out, but you know who you are. I wish many blessings and much happiness to each and all in the new year.

QUICKIES

24-DEC-07

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on marriage and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?" `A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did all my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, Son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine." "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. " and every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all....." "Me neither, Doc," said the husband, "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids." An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years....... The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: 1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records. A blond calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to new York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute." "Thank you," the blonde says and hangs up. Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. How was he killed?" asked one detective...... "With a golf gun."the other detective replied. "A golf gun?" What is a golf gun?" "I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan." This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. finally, his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young woman looks him over and replies "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."

Alone For The Holidays

22-DEC-07

This is not a Lifetime movie. Sounds like a title for a movie, would be boring to me since I am living it. What is it about the holidays that makes being alone worse. Now, don't get me wrong I love being with my family on Christmas but even that will not happen this year. Yep, that's right because they all have inlaws and jobs where it's not possible to let everyone off because of a holiday ours will not be celebrated until the 30th. I don't mind this but it would be nice to have somewhere to go that day. I guess I shouldn't be thinking this way as my ex wife's family was part of a religion that didn't celebrate Christmas but at least we had each other then. I hope no one else out there will be alone on this day. Who knows maybe by next year I will have someone to hangout with at this time of the year. I don't want to bring down anyone's spirit I'm just thinking out loud (so to speak) Thanks for listening.

A Redneck Christmas!

20-DEC-07

In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. But one small feature bothered me: the three wise men were wearing fireman's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never read your Bibles!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and riffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar.'

Redneck Been Using Your Computer?

20-DEC-07

10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba". 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive). 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is... 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

All BBW's are...

17-DEC-07

Ok, I will make some guys upset with this one I'm sure. I keep seeing on here where guys say all BBWs are beautiful or they like all BBWs. Is this or is this not profiling? Are all fit (skinny) women beautiful, are all of anything the same? If you are saying all big women have the bodies you are looking for, then fine. I do not think it is right to judge all the women here the same. If you started a relationship with a bbw and she lost weight would you dump her? I hate to say but some would, just like the ones that dump people that gain weight. Each woman on here has unique feathers, some of them even have a brain, have you thought about that? I think if you are serious about finding love, and not just looking for a hookup, the ladies here would like to hear more than just I like all bbw. Get to know some of them there is more there than big boobs and a$$. My first rant on here, may be more coming---Tom

Redneck Christmas Etiquette BONUS: Tips for All Occasions

17-DEC-07

Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. Never open a beer at a funeral. Never take a beer to a job interview and don't ask them if they press charges. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. Always say "Excuse me" after getting sick in someone else's car. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially if other people are around. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. Always provide an alibi to the police for family memeber.

Redneck Christmas Etiquette - Part III

17-DEC-07

Driving To The Christmas Party Etiquette Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.(now if she asks...) Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.

Redneck Christmas Etiquette - Part II

17-DEC-07

Entertaining in Your Trailer at Christmas A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are. Be considerate of your guests. Point out in advance where the injury-threatening springs are located on the sofa. If your dog falls in love with a guest's leg, have the decency to leave them alone for a few minutes. --- Your Christmas Date Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.(any gentleman would) No matter how broke you are, never take your date flowers that were stolen from a cemetery. Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two years ago." Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00. Others might say "January 3rd." If the latter is the answer, it's the boy's responsibility to get her to school on time. If a girl's name does not appear regularly on a bathroom wall, water tower, or an overpass, odds are good that the date will end in frustration. Even if you can't get a date, avoid kidnapping. It's bad for your reputation.

Redneck Christmas Etiquette - Part

17-DEC-07

Getting Ready fer That Christmas Party Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the tastes of finger foods. Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work. A cigarette lighter and a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours. Its a good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method. --- Dining Out At Christmas When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all, their mobile home costs just as much as yours.

Another Blonde Joke

14-DEC-07

A redhead went to the doctor complaining of pain. "Doctor", she said, I hurt all over, no matter where I touch it hurts." "Show me what you mean." he said The redhead touched her arm and almost screamed from the pain. "Again" said the doctor. She touched her thigh and yelped from the pain. The doctor replied "May I inquire as to weather you are a natural redhead?" "No" she said "I'm a blond but I got tired of the jokes, how did you know?" "Well, To start with", he said, "Your FINGER IS BROKEN.

Why A Christmas Tree Is Better Than A Woman

14-DEC-07

10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. 9. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices. 8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet. 7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its decorations. 6. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home. 5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it. 4. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away. 3. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees. 2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day. 1. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck. Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

Merry Christmas 2007

12-DEC-07

OFFICE MEMO Greetings Date: 12/12/2004 Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the 12 days of Christmas: The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, thereby providing a considerable savings in maintenance. The two turtle dove's romancing during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated. The three French hens wil remain intact. After all, everybody loves the French. (?) The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, complete with call waiting. The five golden rings have been put on hold. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-bills and technology provide a more balanced portfolio. Three of the six geese-a-laying will be let go. It is felt that a higher production rate than one egg per goose per day will be needed, requiring a tougher selection procedure. Seven swans-a-swimming are primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. Eight maids-a-milking have been under scrutiny by the EEOC. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending a-mentoring, or a-mulching. Nine ladies dancing will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. The high cost of Lords plus travel expense has prompted a suggestion to replace the ten Lords-a-leaping with out-of-work congressmen. Leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed. Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is simply a case of a band getting too big. They will be replaced with a string quartet. Action is pending over a lawsuit seeking expansion to include the legal profession. (Thirteen lawyers a-suing) Preliminary studies indicate that stretching delivery over a 12-day period is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be greatly improved. It is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be required in the future to stay competitive. In the meantime, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Spell check

10-DEC-07

Either the spell check on here is not working for me or my spelling is getting better. Don't tell me witch one that would be. I'm going with improved spelling.lol

3 A.M.

10-DEC-07

Well here it is 3 a.m. on a Monday morning and here I am working the blogs. Its not like I do nothing all day, I'm tired, just can't sleep. Don't worry about me I do this a lot. I will get up in time to do all the things I have to do, do them, get on my computer several times thruout the day and get on to stay about 5 or so. I always get off around 12 or 1 and go to bed but I can tell when I can't sleep. Sometimes I don't go back to bed before 5 but am always up when I need to be. This time varies so thats why I'm not puting when I get up. I survive or 3-5 hours sleep most of the time witch I guess is not too bad. Oh well, just writing it down I guess. I know no one cares. Ya'll have a good day---Tom