Blogs for one2one.

Big girls ... you ARE beautiful

27-JUN-10

This is a great headline and article from the (London) Sun, June 23, about the UK's first Miss BBW beauty contest.

Say Anything

10-JAN-09

If you could say anything to the last person you dated ... or the last one that broke your heart, a little or a lot, what would it be? ¿

Anything ... it doesn't have to be politically correct and you don't need to worry that they'll get mad or be hurt because they'll never see it (unless you met them here), but it does have to make it past the censors.

What I Said Was

06-OCT-09

Quote: I hope if I ever show rudeness or insensitivity someone tells me so in an intelligent but blunt way. OK, Azure, but please remember you asked. I have seen a lot of what I consider put downs in your blog comments. Questioning other people's intelligence, maturity and morality has been pretty common, in fact. And you have gone as far as indicating that men deserve it when you wrote, "But you must admit, so many men that were stinkers caused it." Which is a little like the classic abusive thought process that says, "If she didn't ___, I wouldn't have to hit her." Really. Referring to women as "us" and men as "them", making generalizations and broad, sweeping statements can easily polarize and offend both men and women. I've cringed at some of the things you've written. I would be insulted if I were a man, and as a woman I don't care to have you speak for me. Ever. Comments like, "Until men can see this is their problem and force themselves to learn how to communicate all their emotions there will always be this nasty gulf between men and women." is another good example. It creates a rather inhospitable (nasty) environment in which to do that, while assuming they can't anyway and that everyone knows it. I don't. I've known men who were better at communicating their feelings for me than I was for them. Although you give lip service to the idea that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I don't think you really believe it. It's used in a context and way that is meant to discount what they've said. I think some of your blog comments suggest instead that everyone is entitled to your opinion (which is fine, I'm a big believer in freedom of speech), but then you take it a step further and expect everyone to submit to it (not fine, a bit like intellectual fascism, actually). You praise everyone who agrees with you and blah, blah blog (or is it flog) to death everyone who doesn't until they give up or acquiesce. Now, I know I've likely offended you, although that wasn't my intent. So, I realize I'm on thin ice asking you to do me a favor, but I'm going to ask anyway. Wait. Wait ... for a couple days before you respond (because I have a hunch you will) to tell me that I don't know what I think, what I feel, what I see and what I've heard. "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Top Ten

09-SEP-09

For all the men on LF ... what are the top ten things women just don't get or men wish woman understood about men? Ten is just a suggestions ...

Marriage Proposal

17-MAY-09

Here's my question ... when is talk of marriage actually a marriage proposal? Now, I understand that if I happen to mention that I drive a manual transmission because I prefer it and a man says, "Omg. Marry me!" that it's not actually a marriage proposal. My potato salad got the same response once. It's more like saying, "You rock or you're a great woman." It feels fantastic, but there's really no need to call my Mom with the big news. Sometimes the intention isn't as clear. Does "I want to marry you" mean the same thing as "will you marry me" (and I have this ring I hope you'll like)? If it's very early in a relationship could it just mean the other person is serious about having a relationship with you? Is a suggestion of flying to Vegas and just "doing it" a way of testing the waters and seeing how the other person might feel about the idea of someday getting married? Or is it an actual question ...? Have you ever found yourself in the position of having just said something that could sound like an offer of a lifetime together when you're not sure if you really mean quite all of that? Or if you've ever been the one doing the asking, how did you do it?

Soul Food

04-MAR-09

I asked someone in a conversation last night what feeds his soul and got a really great answer in response.¿ It made me smile, and think ... and wonder what other people might say to the same question.

I know for me, a few of the things that fill me up include art that really moves me, and a great book that is so succelent that I start reading really slowly as I'm almost finished with it because I don't want it to end.

I love the way it feels to be in an airplane, especially during take-off.¿ Or time with people I love - dinner with my brother last night or a conversation last week with my nephew, who wanted to tell me all the things he was doing. That's when my heart is really full.

What does it for you?

Confession

25-OCT-08

A boy goes into the confessional and says, 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, Is that you, Joey Pagano ? 'Yes, Father, it is.' And who was the girl you were with? 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti? ... 'I cannot say.' Was it Teresa Mazzarelli? ... 'I'll never tell.' Was it Nina Capelli? ... 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' Was it Cathy Piriano? ... 'My lips are sealed.' Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then? ... 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and sin no more. Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' Four months vacation and five good leads.

Getting to know you questions

15-SEP-08

OK ... so it was pointed out to me that I'm not all that good at asking the 'getting to know someone' kinds of questions. Can anyone help? What are some really good questions you ask or have been asked before? Hmmmm ... or maybe even what's the worst first chat/e-mail question you've ever heard? LOL Now, that could be interesting ...

Scammers - How to spot them

29-AUG-08

I was thinking about Wendy's Blog and my own experience with scammers. I know I have a few ideas about how to spot them, but I could definitely use more ... and maybe it would help all of us if we listed the red flags. Mine are: 1. won't chat on LF and insists on another chat location 2. tells you he loves you, wants to marry you, build his dreams around you etc. after a few chats 3. wants to talk/chat at length every day (no one has that much time, unless their 'job' is scamming) 4. wants you to delete your profile and get off LF because you've finally found each other (before you've ever met in person) 5. works on an offshore oil rig 6. no answer at the phone number he gave you (or excuses about bad reception because he works on an oil rig) 7. cell phone numbers registered out of South Carolina (not all of them of course, but it seems to be a trend) 8. calls that come through an international router number 9. all the compliments and declarations of falling in love begin to sound emotionally manipulative (because they are) 10. widowed AND orphaned (has no family at all except a child)... has a child who lives with a distant relative in another country (because they work such long hours or whatever) 11. gets angry when you don't respond they way they want 12. request for money ('nuff said) Frankly, 2, 4-6, 8,10 and 12 aren't just red flags ... they're deal breakers.

First Kiss

07-AUG-08

Do you remember your first kiss? When ... where ... who ... was it sweet, funny, romantic or ...?

Petition to the Administration

26-JUL-08

Let's try a little experiment and see if it works ... all those in favor of LF granting a free one-week membership to Ariesram, please respond with a 'quality' comment here. By my count, he has written blogs with more than 10 responses and has certainly generated a lot of activity on the blogs, which was obviously the idea behind offering a free week in the first place. All in favor, say aye!

What I Like About Men

28-JUL-08

... and speaking of being embarrassed to be in the same gender, I was really upset by a recent blog that gave a huge list of undesirable qualities in men. In fact, it brought me to tears. I like men. I always have. I like ... 1. The way men compliment us and make us feel wanted and beautiful 2. How accepting men are of us and even find some of our faults endearing 3. Being held while I fall asleep at night and feeling safe 4. How sexy men are 5. The way men look, walk, taste and smell, with or without cologne 6. Their energy, intelligence and humor 7. How men are caring and kind in ways that are entirely different from women 8. The way they will open doors, reach high places, and lift heavy stuff 9. The way they will check our tires or brush the snow off our car before they do their own and leave for work 10. The way they will offer strong arms and broad shoulders to comfort and protect us, and if they can?t think of anything else to do they may even offer to beat people up on our behalf (I am not saying I take them up on the offer, though) 11. The way it is ok to swear or burp in front of them 12. The sounds they make when their testosterone is surging 13. The way a man can turn me on with a look or just by walking across the room 14. How hard men work to get past our defenses 15. How much courage men have 16. When a man asked how your day was he probably really wants to know 17. The little boy still left inside men 18. How often they think of us throughout the day 19. How willing men are to make love when we ask 20. How good it feels to lay down and feel the weight of a man pressing me into the mattress and know that it?s right (when it is) to be there with him 21. Being kissed until I wake up in the morning 22. How fun men are to be with 23. How patient they are 24. How they do know us and see us in ways we don?t know about and make room for what we need without ever telling us 25. Their muscles and the beautiful lines, hills and valleys of their bodies 26. The way a goatee will frame a mans lips so they beg to be kissed or a mustache or beard can be used for pleasure 27. The way men offer to go out in the rain or snow or park the car or drive when we are tired, even if they are too, all to take care of us 28. The way men brag about us to their friends 29. How much they miss us when we?re apart 30. The way men will not bring up old arguments after they are done 31. The way they drop everything to help a friend or stranger 32. The way men refrain talk trash about their friend behind their backs 33. The way they move mountains to be with us or face dragons or walk through fires we don?t even know about, all for our sake