Quoting truefriendinme:

I am wondering how the people here feel about new relationships and their power to "distract". I have a friend whom I will call "James". I have corresponded with "James" for a while now, probaly over a year off and on. We have chatted about many, many things-- both personal and public. I like this person, though not as a romantic interest. I have considered it (as has he), but I am just not in a position to be committed to someone.

So, anyway... "James" has (on several occasions) met other women and gotten "sucked in"-- for lack of a better term. Recently, he has met someone whom he is very much interested in, and I am happy for him. There is one catch, though. When he gets involved with a woman (this has happened three times in the last 8 months or so), he forgets he has friends. He doesn't return emails, and if he does, they are very short. He dives in head first, and I think--sometimes --forgets to breathe!

While I am happy he is able to develop this kind of relationship, I worry about the suddenness of it. I feel he is worrying that he will not meet someone who will accept him for who he is (although he is a terrific guy), and that he latches on to prospective partners too quickly. "James" is a trusting person, and could easily be manipulated, I believe.

What I would like to ask, though is, how many of you out there have friends like "James"? Friends who FORGET about you when they meet a mate? Friends who you have talked to for hours on end, for months on end, who all of a sudden fall off the face of the earth? Friends who, simply put, are NOT very good friends anymore? They get "sucked in". Would you keep dropping your friends like scalding water upon meeting that potential mate? I've felt like I was cast aside, like so much trash (again)...he did this the last time he met a woman, his ex, and another time for a very short time, but with no notice. He just got sucked into the vortex and disappeared! I understand that love is a pretty awesome find in this crappy world. I know that, but aren't your friends pretty awesome, too?

--True

I am wondering how the people here feel about new relationships and their power to "distract". I have a friend whom I will call "James". I have corresponded with "James" for a while now, probaly over a year off and on. We have chatted about many, many things-- both personal and public. I like this person, though not as a romantic interest. I have considered it (as has he), but I am just not in a position to be committed to someone.

So, anyway... "James" has (on several occasions) met other women and gotten "sucked in"-- for lack of a better term. Recently, he has met someone whom he is very much interested in, and I am happy for him. There is one catch, though. When he gets involved with a woman (this has happened three times in the last 8 months or so), he forgets he has friends. He doesn't return emails, and if he does, they are very short. He dives in head first, and I think--sometimes --forgets to breathe!

While I am happy he is able to develop this kind of relationship, I worry about the suddenness of it. I feel he is worrying that he will not meet someone who will accept him for who he is (although he is a terrific guy), and that he latches on to prospective partners too quickly. "James" is a trusting person, and could easily be manipulated, I believe.

What I would like to ask, though is, how many of you out there have friends like "James"? Friends who FORGET about you when they meet a mate? Friends who you have talked to for hours on end, for months on end, who all of a sudden fall off the face of the earth? Friends who, simply put, are NOT very good friends anymore? They get "sucked in". Would you keep dropping your friends like scalding water upon meeting that potential mate? I've felt like I was cast aside, like so much trash (again)...he did this the last time he met a woman, his ex, and another time for a very short time, but with no notice. He just got sucked into the vortex and disappeared! I understand that love is a pretty awesome find in this crappy world. I know that, but aren't your friends pretty awesome, too?

--True