Hi, all! Long time, no see--or POST! Thought I'd drop in to say hello. Hope everyone is doing well.
A quick little update: My divorce was final in mid '09. I reapplied and got accepted into nursing school; I start in January. I had to retake the National Entrance Exam (the PaxRn) and actually scored in the 97th percentile (go, me!). I am still in my same position--still loving my work:) I'm back in school already, updating lab sciences (just finished them all this past semester) and am taking two maths this summer for fun--NOT! :)
Other than that, life's the same. I love being single-- I love my space. I love my new career path. I love making this new life for me, and I love knowing that my life is now my own. BIG difference in how you look at the day ahead, no?
How is everyone doing? I see that this place has some real, ahem...-- "interesting" people making what can only be classified as "semi-coherent posts." I also see that apparently, being literate is no longer a pre-requisite for making a public post! What a shame!
Anyone meet anyone great on here yet? I've just about given up looking. Now I just have a few profiles active, I email and text, but I'm not actively looking. I figure if it's meant to be, then it will. I am SO happy right now just working on me (for once) that I'm not really missing the companionship.
Would love to hear from all the great guys and gals on here individually:) Email me anytime, folks!
Good luck to all!--True
In 2006, I separated and filed for divorce. It wasn't final until May of this year. Those 2.5 years were the hardestI have ever had to endure, and so many times I thought I would have just stayed in an unhappy marraige had I known what was in store for me from the onset. After 16 years of marraige, I never thought it would have ended in such a horrible fashion.
After all that, I deided to return to school, and did so right away. In fact, this past semester was my first in a few years. I had to renew my Microbiology, which was too "old" for Nursing School standards--7 years. That was the hardest class for me seven years ago, much less now as a single mom, working full time! But I knew it was necessary.
And on top of all that, in my last few weeks of the semester, my radiator blew in my car. So, I borrowed money to repair it. And then, to ice the cake, I broke my arm the last two weeks of class. Just before the final paper was due. I typed it all one-handed--twice. I lost the file fumbling around on the keyboard and had to re-type it. What an experience! Since I spent that whole night trying to re-type the paper, with my arm in a huge splint, I obviously didn't get to study much for the lab practical the next morning at 8am. Good news is I got a 94 on my paper. Thank God, because I didn't do so well on the Departmental Final! I guess I won't discuss all the work I missed, since I couldn't perform patient care with a broken arm :(
I left that final in tears. I left thinking I had failed. I left worried about my current job, my future, my life. I left thinking I was in the wrong line of work and that this would change the entire course of events for me--which it would have, had I failed. I cried all the way out to my car and all the way home. I had some very ugly thoughts on the way home.
I finally prayed, if you can call it that. I told Him that I felt like I had failed. I also told Him that if I had failed, it would tell me that I was on the wrong path. A failure in this class-- after working my rear end off in a class that is very hard for me-- would tell me that I needed to think about my chosen career path.
I passed, thank you very much. I earned every bit of that "C" and am darn proud of it, though don't ask me to tell you how to replicate DNA, RNA, mRNA or which codon starts what! I have no idea which type of algae is found in the Red Sea or if ringworm is classified as a helminth! But, I know the basics. I know I was smart enough to study and understand what was absolutely necessary to pass a departmental final, written by an instructor that didn't even teach our class.
And I did it all without cheating, which is more than I can say about atleast one of my classmates.
What prompted this rant is this: I returned to this site while on break from classes, hoping to find comfort. I was hoping to find some failiar faces, some like-minded peeople who realize how hard life really is. But, I haven't found that. I've found intolerance and rudeness. I'm disappointed that some of our own have changed so much. I'm disappointed this site has changed so much. It's very disheartening, especially during the holidays--which are hard for alot of us; I won't even BEGIN to write about that!
I just hope that somehow, in the face of all the mis-trust, hate, discontent and loss in today's world--that we can find the time to try to look for the positive before latching onto the negative. It's SO much more worth our time. Best wishes and Happiest of Holidays to you all...
Well, after two and a half VERY long years, I am officially divorced.
This is the step I have been waiting for, so I can go back into Nursing School next year. This fall, I will be renewing two lab sciences, since they are more than 5 yrs old, and then I am ready to go. I have already been contacted by the Dean of Nursing, and have been cleared to be admitted to the program, I just have to jump thru hoops to do it! (but, it'll be SO worth it :)
In addition, I just got re-certified in Nurse Assisting--this Saturday. I let it expire in all this mess, and I have to have it current to go back to school--despite my six years nursing! Funny!
It has taken a very long time for me to get things in line for all this to happen. I hope I remain focused and dedicated enough to return to school and kick booty! It looks like I will be able to skip a good portion of the first year of classes; I have already completed all but one. So, I may finish early.
I'm excited, nervous and scared all at once. But, hey! You only live once, right?
Thanks to all those who were so supportive throughout this whole mess. And thanks to all my friends who offered me the services of their professional Hit Men :)
See you around! --Misty
Ok, in response to a reply I saw posted on a recent blog, I'd like to know (as would many of us I'm sure) what are YOUR required nutirents, when it comes to love? And what are the Recommended Daily Allowances?
I want to post my recommended allowances, but I'm not sure I know yet. I want to think about it a little while first! But, I know a FEW of the required "Nutrients" I will have to have in any potential partner:
3) Spontanaeity (sp?)
---I can't think well right now. I'm at work, and it's really loud right now. But....more later!
Now, most of you know me, and I believe most of you would think I am pretty fair-minded and level headed. Has anyone ever come across a user that did not take well (and I mean AT ALL) to a comment or constructive criticism? I recently came across someone who acted really SPOOKY. He said I apprently didn't want to be his "friend", and just all in all acted very strange. This person seemed to think I was "harrassing" them!
Seriously, folks...would you consider one profile comment and a few (no more than 3) blog comments harrassment? Now, keep in mind there was absolutely NO mention of wanting to get to know this person, NO comments about liking this person, NO request to contact me or vice versa, NO wink sent, not ONE thing that would make any normal person think there was an attraction. My blog comments were directly related to the blog and ONLY to the blog. The profile comment was very generalized.
I am asking because this person got vengeful VERY quickly, threatening to "ban" me. How do you handle that sort of situation? I notified LF right away, of course. They were exceptionally prompt in their response (thanks, LF!) and advised me to block the user. Before getting their reply, I attempted to notify the person of my request to cease all communique, but this user just turned it right back around and said I was the one harrassing them. I found this petty tit-for-tat quite boring and promptly blocked them. But, it was disconcerting to come across someone so quick to call me a name--"witch" to be exact--and no, I don't mean the "b" word. I really mean "witch".
Even so, who does this sort of thing? Who is so pitifully self-absorbed as to think that the world is so "out to get them" that they have to get it first? I am a long time user of this site, have actively participated in the blogs for a long time, and am generally a decent user. It irritates me to no end that a brand new user such as this would just come in, post one or two blogs and complain about the replies they got? Why not just reply back? Why not duke it out in an intelligent and cohesive blog? Why not be a grown-up and use your "talking words" and not your "name calling" words? Why do people have to be so ignorant and immature?
Obviously, I am just ranting here, hoping someone will share in my moment of aggravation. I am just amazed sometimes at what humans do to one another under the guise of civilized communication!
Good luck to all!--True
Anyone out there feel like all we do in life is wait? I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. I have waited for EVERYTHING! I have waited for the (used to be) man in my life to develop his career, waited to go to school, waited to finish school (to raise the boys), waited for the happiness that I thought came "later" in marraige, waited to leave, waited to go back to school, waited for this to be over! I am tired of waiting! As some of you know, I have been wading through the murky waters of divorce for nearly two and a half years! Yes, my friends, even when you break up, you STILL wind up waiting on them! Over two years and almost 20K later, I finally figure out that no matter what I do, he's not going to let go very easily. He has dragged this out in every manipulative way imaginable and I finally have lost sight of the "EXIT" sign. Somewhere along the way my Tom-Tom pulled a "gone-gone"! LOL! Let's face it, guys. I'm abysmally trapped in the land of never ending settlements! So, I have pulled out the "Big Guns", so to speak. I had one ace in the hole that might wake him up to the idea that he could pay for this a very long time (if you catch my drift). Unfortunately, I think he is so far gone and so scared of relinquishing any bit of control that he won't realize it till it's too late. But, hey, what should I care? I do. And I don't. It's a draw. But, all in all, I'm glad I finally at least ASKED for what I deserve. I atleast stood up for me, for once. I put my foot down in such a way that ther is NO mistaking whose it is or how pi$$ed off I am. I have given up practically my entire life pre-divorce, and it still wasn't good enough. So...now I've decided that NO-- it's NOT good enough. I was willing to settle for so much less than what was deserved, and he just HAD to complain once more-- to make even MORE adjustments. So, now the whole deal is OFF. I am now taking not only the bacon, but the pan to fry it in, too! I suppose a judge will make the final decision, but I am glad I asked. At the very least, I showed I'm not afraid of all the intimidation and threats. It gets old after a while, you know? I just got so sick of all the "fineggling" and I just said "screw it all!" Then I decided that I have to look out for the one person everyone else has decided is meaningless: me.
Today, I was looking online to figure out how best to spend what little bit of money I will recieve from my tax return. I shopped online to get the best prices for large appliances and tires and came across a few sites I wanted to sign up for email alerts. I did, and recieved a few replies. One particular company replied within minutes. Too bad I had to reply with the following email:
I signed up for email alerts because I was considering purchasing a washer and dryer from Sears. I don't believe I would consider this after today. I had a bad prior experience this past November with your partner store (Kmart) and didn't realize ignorance permeates your company like a virus! I recieved a welcome email from Your website on 1/25/09. It had links to both in-store and online savings of $5.00 each. Too bad they both expired the day BEFORE I even signed up. I think I've just about had it with Sears and Kmart. Also too bad I work for a large medical facility where I come into contact with hundreds of people every single day who sometimes ask where they can get clothing and personal care items while they are in town for long medical treatments. Yeah. Good luck with your current marketing plan. Best wishes.--Misty
Ya'll spend wisely this tax season. And stay away from the idiots!--True
I am wondering how the people here feel about new relationships and their power to "distract". I have a friend whom I will call "James". I have corresponded with "James" for a while now, probaly over a year off and on. We have chatted about many, many things-- both personal and public. I like this person, though not as a romantic interest. I have considered it (as has he), but I am just not in a position to be committed to someone.
So, anyway... "James" has (on several occasions) met other women and gotten "sucked in"-- for lack of a better term. Recently, he has met someone whom he is very much interested in, and I am happy for him. There is one catch, though. When he gets involved with a woman (this has happened three times in the last 8 months or so), he forgets he has friends. He doesn't return emails, and if he does, they are very short. He dives in head first, and I think--sometimes --forgets to breathe!
While I am happy he is able to develop this kind of relationship, I worry about the suddenness of it. I feel he is worrying that he will not meet someone who will accept him for who he is (although he is a terrific guy), and that he latches on to prospective partners too quickly. "James" is a trusting person, and could easily be manipulated, I believe.
What I would like to ask, though is, how many of you out there have friends like "James"? Friends who FORGET about you when they meet a mate? Friends who you have talked to for hours on end, for months on end, who all of a sudden fall off the face of the earth? Friends who, simply put, are NOT very good friends anymore? They get "sucked in". Would you keep dropping your friends like scalding water upon meeting that potential mate? I've felt like I was cast aside, like so much trash (again)...he did this the last time he met a woman, his ex, and another time for a very short time, but with no notice. He just got sucked into the vortex and disappeared! I understand that love is a pretty awesome find in this crappy world. I know that, but aren't your friends pretty awesome, too?
I had to write to Vegas to say "Thank You!" I have been feeling guilty for a while, although I know (in my secret, rational side)that it's not necessary. My divorce has been a very long time in coming (and I'm still waiting...), but I have been feeling guilty. Sometimes almost regretting this life-changing choice of mine. It's been a blessing and a burden. Now that the "burden" part is nearly over, I am trying to focus on the "blessing" part. I am trying to appreciate my decision for what it was: a recognition that the marraige was not what I needed and that I hadn't been happy in years. In a recent blog, Vegas wrote: "...what was perfect for us 5 years ago may not be ideal for us now because we are constantly chnaging, maturing and perfecting ourselves..." This was just: PERFECT. I have thought it many times, I have said it in so many words, but it hadn't clicked. Today...it clicked. It's a relief to try to go on, to forgive yourself for doing something that needed to be done. It's hard knowing that the choices we have made in life affect those closest to us, and sometimes not in a good or helpful way. But, it IS helpful to realize that it's for the best in the long run. It's what I needed and I can finally try to forgive myself. So, to Vegas: Thank you!
Well, guys, I have to work tonight, so no trick-or-treating for me. But, to all of you who are going out to celebrate, dressed as your favorite ghoul, monster, goblin, superstar, home appliance or lawn tool....
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
(Oh--and drink a margarita for me! lol!)--True
To all our bloggers and relating to authors published ONLY within the last 50 YEARS:
My question(s) is/are: (And I'll go first...)
*****1) what do you read for fun?
Well, in my quiet times-- that I value very much, by the way!-- I tend to read or surf the web. I just finished reading "Isle of Dogs" by Patricial Cornwell (blah!) and am next going to read "Book of the Dead" by the same author. I love her Kay Scarpetta series books. I also love to read other crime and mystery novels, both fiction and non. Biographies (auto or otherwise), too.
******2)Why do you like these books?
I tend to gravitate towards books that are somewhat true-to-life, or "it could happen" type scenarios. I didn't like "Isle" because it was terribly impractical, predictable and unrealistic.
******3)Do you learn anything at all from them? If so, what? Her books are researched tirelessly and include alot of medical jargon and explanations as it relates to crime and the human body. I like this sort of thing, and I find the little bits of information stimulating.
*******4) If you could ask this author any five questions related to his/her craft, what would they be?
A. Why do you choose the subject matter you do?
B. How do you decide how the victim will "die" and who it will be in your books?
C. What types of books do you read, by whom?
D. Are you at all like any of the characters in your books, which one(s)?
E. Which authors / people inspire you the most and why?
Have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you are right there on the edge of a really big change, but you just can't seem to get everything in life aligned? Where you know what you want to do and how to do it, but you just can't seem to get the world to cooperate? Where you need to change things in life, but it is drastically more challenging than you ever anticipated it would be? And you KNOW that this is it! This is "the one thing" in life you are missing to bring out the best in you-- as a person, as a woman (or man), as a productive member of society? (not that I'm not productive already, I just want more out of life...much more!). Anyone ever encounter this phase in life? How do you beat the feelings of helplessness? There are just times when you are at a point where you simply CANNOT move forward without other things being finished!--True
Okay, people. These are serious questions. No kidding. I have SO much going on in life, and I need some realtime advice from women who've "been there, done that" before me. I need to make these decisions, but I wanted to get some input from those more experienced than myself (lol!). If you've been through a nasty divorce/ custody battle, then this blog's for you! As a divorcing woman, going through what I would like to believe are some of the same circumstances and feelings that many of you have already conquered, I'd like to pick your minds for some information. I will list some questions I have been rolling about in my head, and would like for you to respond to what ever ones apply to you, or whichever ones you have a truth-based opinion about.
1) did you get custody of your kids (full or shared) and why?
2) did you ever consider taking less than full custody, and if so,why? (PLEASE be honest about this one, the "consider" part-- I really feel like I'm in the minority here...)
3) if you had an ex that was capable of caring for the kids in a decent fashion and you needed to get your life in order (go back to school and such) would you have considered lessening your custodial time? even if it meant "setting a precedent" in the court's eyes...this means that you cannot go back easily. you would have had to stick with this decision the rest of your (and for the kids') lives.
4) do you think a mom is any less of a mom if she does not have at least half custody of the kids?
5) if a mom is in a situation (financialy) where life will be a struggle, no matter if she has the kids or not, would you suggest to her that she take on less of a responsibility of the kids (and pay the ex child support), so she can go back to school? (and fight for more custody later?)
6) or would you suggest she keep the kids the way it is now (half time, shared) and tough it out, paycheck to paycheck, for the duration of the forseeable future?
These are some really tough questions, guys. And I'm looking for some help in considering all facets of my situation before making any decisons. Any help you can offer would be appreciated. Thanks--True
Hey Guys! I have been gone for quite a whle now. No, I have not been dating, I've just been submerged in what I would like to refer to as "life". However, it feels more and more like simply "existing". Lately, I think about dating and missing the male-side of life. While I like being alone (my "quiet time), I miss the companionship. I miss someone making me feel that "way". I have not dated anyone since the separation/divorce (almost final-- THANKK GOD!) in Nov. '06. I think the women will understand what I mean more, but men might, too. I'm just in that place, wanting companionship but not wanting committment. Scared to date for fear I might go too far, too fast, but in a way really *needing* to. I think maybe the interaction is the most important thing right now, but I can't make myself do it. What do you think?--TrueFriendInMe
If this happened to you: You began communicating with someone, and actually made definitive plans to meet that person. On the day (or the day before meeting that person), they stopped ALL communication. He would not return emails, did not call...nothing, nada. After a day or so of failed attempts to communicate (minimal, mind you, I did not want to seem like a freak or stalker!) with that person, I "wrote them off", no longer emailing, didn't call. And then, out of the blue, about two months later, he sends an e-mail/wink, asking me to call. WIERD!
MY QUESTIONS ARE:
1) Would you call?
2)If so, WHY?
3)Would you wait until he contacted you again?
See, I didn't call. I e-mailed and (mistakenly--honestly) told him I no longer had the number. I also said he had been rude (to not respond to my emails or calls) and that I thought it best we talk a bit via e-mail, first, so no one would get hurt if tings went awry in a phone conversation. AFTER emailing this, I found the number later, in my old phone--I had kept the phone for a "phone book" of sorts--it's really nice.
Just looking to see what is considered "acceptable" or the "norm" for these things. I don't want to seem like an unforgiving B****, yet, it could be he just wants to say he really didn't like me after all, and just decided to finally TELL me. What would YOU do? Insight from more experienced "daters" would be greatly appreciated!
Happy Birthday to all those who were born today!
I'm hesitant to say I'm "cautiously optimistic", because it seems life likes to kick-you-when-you're-down, but
I am 35 today and so glad I've made it through the last few weeks. They have been tremendously difficult-- and not because of vanity or self-loathing reasons, but for reasons that would be related to the personal difficulties I've had with the divorce . Two VERY different things! But, I made it and am slowly moving forward. I seem to be more hopeful about the future, even if only on a small scale. But atleast I'm not in that "dark place"-- like I was Thanksgiving Week. I'm glad I atleast logged on to LF and vented some--I hate to think of the alternative...
So: HAPPY 35th BIRTHDAY, TRUE!
Come ON guys! This is getting absolutely ridiculous! I thought I'd do some searches (In response to the "law of averages" blog). So, I searched--basic age (35 to 45yrs old) and 100 mile limit parameters. Guess what I found? A lot of SLACKERS! Do they really expect honest, hard-working, true-to-self, looking for love women (or even men, for that matter) to respond to the following(?):
Dear Santa: I wanted to write you to tell you what I want for Christmas. It seems that for the last 15 years, you have misunderstood what I meant when I described my "wish list". So here is a poem I wrote to help you in your gift selection for me this year: