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Is shyness a curse or a turn on? Sort by:
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scifigirrl75
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Posted on 01/05/2009

I get tongue tied and verbally dislexic. And I am sure that I have a permanent blush. I don't know if it's my old fashioned view on sex or if it is my shyness which keeps them from coming back. I am not a prude, I think I have a great personality, and I am not clingy at all; but I am not going to hop in the sack with someone after three dates. I like to take a little time to get to know someone before taking that kind of step.
A little advice would help.


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scifigirrl75

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Posted on 01/29/2009

Oh great words True! I should have read this before I posted my rant, I mean blog about the change of rules.
I agree, and for the record I don't think not wanting to jump in the sack after three dates counts as shyness!
Just, well here's what I try to remind myself:
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1. if I am feelinging in anyway uncomfortable, then it is OK for me to say 'no' or 'stop'.
2. if he puts any kind of pressure on me after that, in a negative sense, especially using it as an excuse to tell me I am 'too shy' or 'too old fashioned' or 'too ANYTHING, then he just aint worth it. There's heartache ahead.
3. A real man, who was genuinely interested in you as a person and not a pitstop, would reassure you and change his approach speed.
Old School RULES. ;)
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AbzWayne
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Posted on 01/20/2009

Quoting butterbll:

Shyness can be a Neutral thing.One can be so shy that if a person shows interest in you the person showing interest percives no response . on the other hand it can be a blessing as one perceives that you are not too agressive in your demeanor.


Both true ButterBill, and both proven over this last weekend...( so you know, am the shy one with an aggressive demeanour... totally blind to hints)

To the original poster, what can I say, Old fashioned views are sorely sought after and a welcome relief to me in this day and age, and no, am not an old "fuddy duddy", a just remembered a hard earned lesson that I wouldnt wish to go through myself.

True is totally correct, stick to your principles, the "Oldschool" label you have on your profile is a good example. Wait till you know that your ready for the next steps, it will all be so worth the wait. (bet yer gonna blush now huh!!!)

I wish you all the best.

Hugz fae a daft and cuddly Scotsman called Wayne.



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butterbll
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Posted on 01/10/2009

Shyness can be a Neutral thing.One can be so shy that if a person shows interest in you the person showing interest percives no response . on the other hand it can be a blessing as one perceives that you are not too agressive in your demeanor.



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truefriendinme
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Posted on 01/07/2009

Girl, no advice needed. Just plain and simple PATIENCE! A real man will know what he has, when he has it. He will want you to feel comfortable and secure in sharing your whole being with him, and he will understand the need for a woman to have an emotional connection to her partner. He will wait until you are ready.

Relationships don't come with a rule book. But, if you stick to your principles, you will find it SO much easier to wake up to yourself (or someone else) in the morning.

Don't compromise and sleep with someone just because HE is ready! So what??!!

Sex is a mutually consented, highly personal activity which should only be shared between two people willing to experience all the "strings" that will SURELY be attached! Good luck--True



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