So when I told friends that I had joined a site tailored to me, I got many reactions. Most common was confusion. Why do you need the internet for friends? I am a very social person, I have a lot of friends. However, I always end up in a situation where I like a guy and he uses me for a while then wants to be my friend. Overwhelmingly when asked, their response is that while I am a nice fun girl, I am not their "type."
My question is, "Is it too much to ask for that to put out in the open to begin with?? I am not naive. There are some qualities that I am not attracted to in men. I would never string someone along knowing I had no intention of pursuing anything further.
I am learning, baby steps. I guess what it comes down to is I like aholes, lol. Break the cycle girls!
So when I told friends that I had joined a site tailored to me, I got many reactions. Most common was confusion. Why do you need the internet for friends? I am a very social person, I have a lot of friends. However, I always end up in a situation where I like a guy and he uses me for a while then wants to be my friend. Overwhelmingly when asked, their response is that while I am a nice fun girl, I am not their "type."
My question is, "Is it too much to ask for that to put out in the open to begin with?? I am not naive. There are some qualities that I am not attracted to in men. I would never string someone along knowing I had no intention of pursuing anything further.
I am learning, baby steps. I guess what it comes down to is I like aholes, lol. Break the cycle girls!
For me it's about not falling in love with the idea of falling in love.
In my life I think I've been more in love with ideas then men. I feel in love with the idea of love, of being a couple, of having someone to do things for, of having someone I'm emotionnally link to... the guy was an accessory in those ideas. Don't get me wrong, it still felt great to me while it lasted, but it does make the ending easily processed.
Truefriendinme
For me it's about not falling in love with the idea of falling in love.
In my life I think I've been more in love with ideas then men. I feel in love with the idea of love, of being a couple, of having someone to do things for, of having someone I'm emotionnally link to... the guy was an accessory in those ideas. Don't get me wrong, it still felt great to me while it lasted, but it does make the ending easily processed.
Listen to your yoda girlfriend here pumpkin. It's not you... it was never you... it's about guys... All about them. We love them, but by God sometimes we love to hate them. They are very simple animals but they make our life so complicated.
It's like this episode with Berger in Sex and the city. If a guy is into you, you'll know the first night... Nothing will keep them from making clear that they are interested in you.
If he's lukewarm, more like I'll see you when I see you... or you're a nice person... he's not into you, but he has the gene defiency to tell you about it.
Let me tell you some other way... Ok... Quick survey!!! How many women have been on a date they thought was going great, at the end of which the guy told them he would call and never did!!!
It's not about you, it's about the guys lacking the guts to tell women what they want or don't want.
I'm 47 now, if I go on a date and the guy doesn't ask to see me again tomorrow at this place and time, he'll pick me up... I don't believe he's interested in me in a romantic way... even if he's saying otherwise and most of the time I'm right and when I'm not, it's a nice surprise.
Sarakjones
Listen to your yoda girlfriend here pumpkin. It's not you... it was never you... it's about guys... All about them. We love them, but by God sometimes we love to hate them. They are very simple animals but they make our life so complicated.
It's like this episode with Berger in Sex and the city. If a guy is into you, you'll know the first night... Nothing will keep them from making clear that they are interested in you.
If he's lukewarm, more like I'll see you when I see you... or you're a nice person... he's not into you, but he has the gene defiency to tell you about it.
Let me tell you some other way... Ok... Quick survey!!! How many women have been on a date they thought was going great, at the end of which the guy told them he would call and never did!!!
It's not about you, it's about the guys lacking the guts to tell women what they want or don't want.
I'm 47 now, if I go on a date and the guy doesn't ask to see me again tomorrow at this place and time, he'll pick me up... I don't believe he's interested in me in a romantic way... even if he's saying otherwise and most of the time I'm right and when I'm not, it's a nice surprise.
After a while, you learn to see through the BS and decipher the "I don't want a committment yet" into the "I just want to get what I can while I can." It will be SO much easier once you master this skill. (I'm still in the "complete avoidance phase"-- it's safer! lol!!) The key is to not let our need for male companionship override our independence and common sense. I think if women would depend upon their instincts and rely on themselves for everything EXCEPT that emotional fulfillment--until the point in a relationship where you can fully trust and depend upon a male partner-- we would avoid many of the pitfalls of bad marraiges and relationships. We can do it. We just have to trust in ourselves FIRST. :) Good luck to all, True
After a while, you learn to see through the BS and decipher the "I don't want a committment yet" into the "I just want to get what I can while I can." It will be SO much easier once you master this skill. (I'm still in the "complete avoidance phase"-- it's safer! lol!!) The key is to not let our need for male companionship override our independence and common sense. I think if women would depend upon their instincts and rely on themselves for everything EXCEPT that emotional fulfillment--until the point in a relationship where you can fully trust and depend upon a male partner-- we would avoid many of the pitfalls of bad marraiges and relationships. We can do it. We just have to trust in ourselves FIRST. :) Good luck to all, True
