I've read a lot of blogs and comments about having or not having sex on the first date.
Here's my take on the subject if anyone wants to know.
For me it's about quality of sex, not quantity. Let's say you have a first date, you like him, you feel he likes you, you have sex together and you get the physical release...
Now let's say you have the same first date, you like him, you feel he likes you, you don't have sex. You see him again and you feel more attracted, he thinks you have have a beautiful smile. You go home and think of him before falling asleep, he goes home and think you're a nice women. You both think the good night kiss was nice.
Then the third date, more kissing, more urgency in them. You definitely like him... Funny how he didn't notice before how gorgeous you are.
It's about anticipation. There is great pleasure in this. Everyone that knows will tell you sex in a great part mental. When you don't have sex on the first date you think about how it will be, how you'll feel, you imagine your first night together in great details, you are both more excited about it then you would have ever been if you had slept together on the first date.
There's a good chance that this first night will rock both your boats because you waited and wanted and anticipated it. This is what is all about... It's about wanting eachother like you've never wanted anyone or anything in your life. It's about thinking about him every minute of everyday for wanting to be with him in that way. It's about wanting him, not having him and looking forward to having him. It's like Christmas gifts. You know you're going to get them... you know when you're getting them... and you can't wait for them.
That's my theory... and so far, from my experience, it works.
Listen to grandma Chantale and her years of experience... hehehehehehe
Tell me about yours!!!
I've read a lot of blogs and comments about having or not having sex on the first date.
Here's my take on the subject if anyone wants to know.
For me it's about quality of sex, not quantity. Let's say you have a first date, you like him, you feel he likes you, you have sex together and you get the physical release...
Now let's say you have the same first date, you like him, you feel he likes you, you don't have sex. You see him again and you feel more attracted, he thinks you have have a beautiful smile. You go home and think of him before falling asleep, he goes home and think you're a nice women. You both think the good night kiss was nice.
Then the third date, more kissing, more urgency in them. You definitely like him... Funny how he didn't notice before how gorgeous you are.
It's about anticipation. There is great pleasure in this. Everyone that knows will tell you sex in a great part mental. When you don't have sex on the first date you think about how it will be, how you'll feel, you imagine your first night together in great details, you are both more excited about it then you would have ever been if you had slept together on the first date.
There's a good chance that this first night will rock both your boats because you waited and wanted and anticipated it. This is what is all about... It's about wanting eachother like you've never wanted anyone or anything in your life. It's about thinking about him every minute of everyday for wanting to be with him in that way. It's about wanting him, not having him and looking forward to having him. It's like Christmas gifts. You know you're going to get them... you know when you're getting them... and you can't wait for them.
That's my theory... and so far, from my experience, it works.
Listen to grandma Chantale and her years of experience... hehehehehehe
Regalto ? The fact that I speak french should be a dead give away Honey.? I'm a?proud Quebecer,?from Montreal to be?precise and a sovereignist.? Most canadians don't want to?deal with people like me. hehehehe? You might want to reconsider your offer to talk.? We are to Canada what Fidel Castro is to the USA.? A deep, unruled and uncontrollable annoyance. LOL
Regalto ? The fact that I speak french should be a dead give away Honey.? I'm a?proud Quebecer,?from Montreal to be?precise and a sovereignist.? Most canadians don't want to?deal with people like me. hehehehe? You might want to reconsider your offer to talk.? We are to Canada what Fidel Castro is to the USA.? A deep, unruled and uncontrollable annoyance. LOL
Ozreadhair I think the book is right.? Men are not that complicated mentally.? It's hard to switch boxes in their head.? If you started as fling girl, you are not material for girlfriend or wife. Second, I believe men like the hunt.? If you're too easy then they don't have to hunt.? It doesn't flatter their ego because winning you over other men makes them feel good about themselves.? We have a saying in french that goes something like if you win without effort then the victory is without glory.? Men like the challenge of conquering.? I think it's in their blood. As for how long to wait, I guess it depends on woman.? I usually wait until I can't wait any longer to have him.? As women don't have desire wired the same way men do, it rarely happens on the first date.?
Ozreadhair I think the book is right.? Men are not that complicated mentally.? It's hard to switch boxes in their head.? If you started as fling girl, you are not material for girlfriend or wife. Second, I believe men like the hunt.? If you're too easy then they don't have to hunt.? It doesn't flatter their ego because winning you over other men makes them feel good about themselves.? We have a saying in french that goes something like if you win without effort then the victory is without glory.? Men like the challenge of conquering.? I think it's in their blood. As for how long to wait, I guess it depends on woman.? I usually wait until I can't wait any longer to have him.? As women don't have desire wired the same way men do, it rarely happens on the first date.?
I was reading an interesting book on relationships the other day and as it was this blog topic thought I would add it here. ? The author stated that if you want a man to think of you as relationship material NOT to get physical with them too early. ? He said that though some relationships can start from sex early on that most men would just keep you in the "casual right now" catergory. ? What do you guys think?? Though how long is long enough?
I was reading an interesting book on relationships the other day and as it was this blog topic thought I would add it here. ? The author stated that if you want a man to think of you as relationship material NOT to get physical with them too early. ? He said that though some relationships can start from sex early on that most men would just keep you in the "casual right now" catergory. ? What do you guys think?? Though how long is long enough?
I agree with Oz. There is no real set time limit for me, but I DO have to feel an emotional attachment before getting intimate. That takes time. The anticipation of that moment, however, IS pretty fun! :)
--True
I agree with Oz. There is no real set time limit for me, but I DO have to feel an emotional attachment before getting intimate. That takes time. The anticipation of that moment, however, IS pretty fun! :)
Sure, waiting enhances the feeling of anticipation, but honestly, how often is the first lovemaking session with that special someone a really hot and earth shattering experience? In my experience, the first time may be nice, but not as good as the sessions that follow.
During the first session, the lovemaking is generally vanilla and you get to feel, and (sometimes) even see, each other's body parts. Kinks are rarely performed, let alone expressed during the first session. If a partner dislikes an act that is normally considered vanilla, they may not express their dislike during the first session. In both cases, it may be because the person does not know how their confession of their kink or dislike of an act will be received. Kinks and dislikes are generally handled as the relationship progresses.
On the other hand, if the lovemaking happens on the first date purely because of a strong physical attraction partnered with ambivalence as to whether the relationship will continue past the first date, the session can be incredibly hot. One reason could be because one is being prompted by pure lust and being taken away in the moment. This situation tears away the wall of inhibition and one can just go for what feels good. The lovemaking can be quite fulfilling and earth shattering, if the partners are good at what they do. If the relationship goes beyond that session, then that is fine too. At least this has been my experience.
Sure, waiting enhances the feeling of anticipation, but honestly, how often is the first lovemaking session with that special someone a really hot and earth shattering experience? In my experience, the first time may be nice, but not as good as the sessions that follow.
During the first session, the lovemaking is generally vanilla and you get to feel, and (sometimes) even see, each other's body parts. Kinks are rarely performed, let alone expressed during the first session. If a partner dislikes an act that is normally considered vanilla, they may not express their dislike during the first session. In both cases, it may be because the person does not know how their confession of their kink or dislike of an act will be received. Kinks and dislikes are generally handled as the relationship progresses.
On the other hand, if the lovemaking happens on the first date purely because of a strong physical attraction partnered with ambivalence as to whether the relationship will continue past the first date, the session can be incredibly hot. One reason could be because one is being prompted by pure lust and being taken away in the moment. This situation tears away the wall of inhibition and one can just go for what feels good. The lovemaking can be quite fulfilling and earth shattering, if the partners are good at what they do. If the relationship goes beyond that session, then that is fine too. At least this has been my experience.
Now I will have to admit Petale, that I had to think really hard about this one...and I could not remember ever feeling this sort of desire for someone that I was not already emotionally involved with. Now get the point of waiting to get to know the person and to increase anticipation...but this is where I find all of this a bit of a problem. Having had the relationships where we have waited and got emotionally involved before the physical element came into play only to find that the physical side of things were missing, and once the anticipation was sated that there was not much excitement left for the next time. Now?I would not buy a car on a long term purchase plan without driving it first.? I certainly dont want a relationship without looking at all aspects of compatibility.? :) Though I am not saying to jump into bed the first night or even on the second, but I do feel that to create the level of excitement you talk about here, would only come after emotional attachment?has occurred. Is there something I am not getting here?
Now I will have to admit Petale, that I had to think really hard about this one...and I could not remember ever feeling this sort of desire for someone that I was not already emotionally involved with. Now get the point of waiting to get to know the person and to increase anticipation...but this is where I find all of this a bit of a problem. Having had the relationships where we have waited and got emotionally involved before the physical element came into play only to find that the physical side of things were missing, and once the anticipation was sated that there was not much excitement left for the next time. Now?I would not buy a car on a long term purchase plan without driving it first.? I certainly dont want a relationship without looking at all aspects of compatibility.? :) Though I am not saying to jump into bed the first night or even on the second, but I do feel that to create the level of excitement you talk about here, would only come after emotional attachment?has occurred. Is there something I am not getting here?
For me the most important thing is that I'm not waiting out of a set of moral principles or because it's against certain values... I wait because of pleasure. I found through the years that pleasure is greatly increased if you know the other person and if you really, really and I mean really want him... but even more when you feel is going to blow a gasket if he doesn't have you. That kind of desire can not be generated after one date and it's the biggest ego booster you could dream of and that's not taking into consideration orgasms that would make any previous one obsolete.
Cuddlesexgirl.
For me the most important thing is that I'm not waiting out of a set of moral principles or because it's against certain values... I wait because of pleasure. I found through the years that pleasure is greatly increased if you know the other person and if you really, really and I mean really want him... but even more when you feel is going to blow a gasket if he doesn't have you. That kind of desire can not be generated after one date and it's the biggest ego booster you could dream of and that's not taking into consideration orgasms that would make any previous one obsolete.
Actually, in my case, on a few occasion I had sex with the guy pretty fast and totally lost interest. I was the one who didn't want to see him again. As if sex had cheapen the relationship and wasn't worth pursuing. I know it's twisted. I never said I was normal.
Now years later, I think that these might have been perfect guys for me... I rushed, didn't wait for a real attraction and quit before really giving it a try.
Cutegirlinsat
Actually, in my case, on a few occasion I had sex with the guy pretty fast and totally lost interest. I was the one who didn't want to see him again. As if sex had cheapen the relationship and wasn't worth pursuing. I know it's twisted. I never said I was normal.
Now years later, I think that these might have been perfect guys for me... I rushed, didn't wait for a real attraction and quit before really giving it a try.
Hi, you are so right. I have just started dating again after spending 18 years going from one relationship to another and this was something i had been thinking about. after reading what you have written it has made me think twice about rushing into anything.
Hi, you are so right. I have just started dating again after spending 18 years going from one relationship to another and this was something i had been thinking about. after reading what you have written it has made me think twice about rushing into anything.
