As some of you may know, I'm a movie buff. Love movies, all movies, with subtitle or really strange stuff.
Chick flick is a genre I like. My favorite tear jerker is Shadowland, with Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger. I love that movie. It has everything I like, love, reflexions on love, a bit of history, great scenery just love it.
There are also what I call women movies... they won't bring a tear to your eyes, but they are movies about women, their condition and their evolution. Movies like The Joy luck Club, the relationship between mother and daughter raised in different worlds. Great Movie.
Enchanted April, is one of my favorite also. British, kind of a victorian vibe to it, it's about women getting together and learning from one another to transform themselves. The decor is incredible and the acting superb.
But my favorite movie, both a tear jerker and a film about women, Color Purple. Such a vibrant hommage and testimony to women's resilience and combativity.
What's your favorite movie about women.
I know that the most sucessfull blogs are about sex, but I wanted to treat myself and write a blog that has nothing to do with relationships, men or sex.
Fall is here. It's grey outside, it rains a little every day and days are getting shorter. I'm broke so I can't do my usual shoes or clothes shopping to lift my spirit and I've never been in this predicament before.
How to lift one's spirit for free. What is it you do when you are tired, depress and feeling lonely, to make yourself feel better and for free.
I know you are smart ladies... be as crazy as you want, just tell me what makes you not only feel good but what will lift you from the pit of despair. :-) (Ok, I'm being a bit dramatic here, I'm far from there... but I thought it looked good hehehe)
I know my battery operated friend is one way... but I said sex is not included in this conversation, and please let's forget about the usual long bath or chocolate binge.
Come on ladies, I'm counting on you.
It's been a while since I blogged on this site. I felt the need for a break.
After a few mishaps with a number of gentlemen with moral as elastic as their propensity to lie, my hopes for a meaningful relationship were in a state of total disarray. At the same time, receiving the ever crude and so ?highly sexual it becomes a put off? messages, I felt like a juicy Canada A1 steak in a meat market. So I gave it all up, close accounts on all dating sites and took a break.
Now here's my question. How do you make yourself ready for the cold reality of internet dating. How do one deals with the idea of deleting 80% or even 90% of messages because it?s obvious the sender are more interested in one?s breasts size then I.Q. or humanity. Just the thought of getting another message asking me if I enjoy giving fellatio as an introduction, is bringing acid reflux to the back of my throat.
I want the relationship and the discovering of another human being, but what?s keeping me from going back on the saddle is the thought of having to deal with all the morons, the not so subtle innuendos and the inquiries to the speed at which I get in the sack with a total stranger.
How do you deal with the loads of crap you get for a single interesting message from a man you find might be a prospect? How not to let the process get to oneself?
We all try at different periods of the year to give ourselves a little 'get our act together' speech designed to improved our lives.
I'm trying to convince myself to exercise more, quit smoking and do housecleaning on a regular schedule, not just go tornado once a week.
But the motivation is sometimes missing. I've changed things in the past by rewarding myself. For example, if I walk an average of a mile a day, then I reward myself by buying a piece of clothing that week.
What things are you trying to improve and what are your solution have you found to keep the motivation. Still haven't found the right reward for exercising regularly. Shoes won't even do it and that says a lot... hehehehehe
I'm curious about something. How effective is online dating? What is the rate of success when it comes to lasting relationship?? Anyone would like a take a guess on that?? Do I have a better chance of winning the lotery???
Reading blogs around here it seems that online dating brings more aggravation and frustration then it does love. I've heard of people who met their soulmate online, but I personally don't know any. What is it, one or maybe two of your friends did... That still not a lot considering the millions that are dating through the internet.
Since the coming of online dating, has statistics changed and as a single woman, do I still get a better chance of being hit by lightning on my front lawn by a sunny day then to find true love???
Once more, I'm?just angry, fed up, almost depressed by the lack of the most elementary courtesy of some men.
Since when asking for my bra size in the first minute of a conversation has become socially acceptable.? I've never been ask what my IQ was... but this morning, in an introductory email, a men ask me, once more, what my bra size was... before he ask me what my name was.
Give me a break.? Do men really think that they'll get somewhere with that kind of opening.? Obviously they are not looking for a relationship, just someone they can have mindless with.? Please,?tell me, is there something in my profile that?says mindless s e x.? I don't think so.All it does is making me feel like I don't matter.? Who cares about who I am as long as I have those stupendous babs, I'll be an object of desire.? I'm not an object, I'm not just another body.? Pardon my french, I apologize in advance for my lack of finesse... put your fingers in your ears and sing... but sometimes, I swear, I feel like I'm just another hole they want to empty themselves in and it makes me mad.? There I've said it publicly.? I feel like a piece of meat... or two in this cases.
P¿ch¿s mignons are those little things you hide... you don't admit them to no one... and only your partner knows them and even he might not.¿ Anonymity is a wonderful things... it allows for no censorship.¿ So here they are.¿
I love watching kids movies, Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...
I read a french magazine that only talk of Monarchies around the world.¿ Princes and Princesses.¿ No one who knows me would believe it.¿ I'm so not on the right politically speaking.
Every night, in my bed, I read Harlequin novels, but the ones with sexy part with the love story.¿¿ Would never admit reading them and I'm a bit embarassed when I buy them.¿ Doesn't fit with the¿image people have of me.
So what are yours... come on.. name three... just like me.
I say courtship and immediately some type of victorian image comes to my mind.? Courtship was for my parents and grand-parents, who spent months on walks and bicycle rides before they could hold hands, shared no more then a kiss before their wedding but who knew each other pretty well because they weren't allowed to do much more then just talking to one another.
How do you view courtship these days.? Does it still has its place??? What are the gestures of courtship in the 21st century??? How are men and women courting one another???
Like it often happen for me when writing a blog, it gives me an idea for a second, sometimes even a third one. That's why my blogs are often grouped.
I've seen a few blogs from men asking what will command women's attention, how to court a woman or seduce us.
Every once in a while I come accross a man who'll start a conversation with a witty remark. I'm intrigued. Then he'll start talking about politics, history or litterature... and I'm interested. Intellect attracts me in a man. That's first. Then if the conversation continues, if he talks to me with respect, discussing things and not confronting, he'll get my attention. If he can show humour with a certain style and be seductive without being vulgar... then I'm hooked and ready to move to wherever he lives. hehehehe
For me it's about the way he treats and talks to me. It's basically about like the image of myself that gets reflected to me from his eyes.
It's been brought to my attention that I seem to have the reputation to be the male bashing around here. Is this really the perception people have of me.
I know I couldn't give the impression of being demure or blending with the wallpaper to save my life... but do you feel like I hate men from reading my blogs. Do I sound like all men are bad to the core?
Ok guys. I'm questionning a move I've made. I met someone outside LF. (Guys on LF won't talk to me... *pout*. LOL) We exchange emails then start conversations. We talk 5 or 6 hours a day for 4 days. He chats from the office, says his computer at home is too old to support internet. So no contact weeknights and weekends (first flag up... that smell married man all over.)
We talk about everything and anything... conversation is flowing incredibly well even argumenting is fun. We get along like two peas in a pod. But two things bother me. He's very guarded with information and he tends to fly off at the handles. A joke that is misunderstood and he says it's over. Hate that kind of emotional blackmail.
Now here's the biggy to me. I ask him if I could phone him some night (I have skype, no cost), he says he's not ready. Day after I ask for a picture because the one on LF is from afar. At first he jokes around, sending me funny pictures, I insist. Then he sends the same picture as LF asking me if I'm happy I got what I wanted. I said no, I'd like another picture, thinking he's still joking. He tells me he doesn't like that game, I'm shocked. I email him, saying he's overreacting, that I was keeping the kidding he started up. Exchange several emails. In the end he says he shouldn't have to do something he doesn't want to do and that he needs more time.
I tell him he's right... he shouldn't have to do something he doesn't want to do and neither should I. No picture, no phone call, no reassurance for me of any kind is a deal breaker. He doesn't show he cares if I'm in or out. Kind of admits he has overreacted, doesn't apologize or seem to even regret it. At one point, I've offered to give him my phone number, there would be no risk to him as he could hide his number. Even that he said no. He says he's scared, of what? I don't know he never answered. Told him a phone call at night from home would at least calm by doubt that he's married... The answer is still no. He says the problem his my inability to accept he needs time. So I ask him to stop writing me.
He still denies he's married, but I still have the feeling he's hiding something from me. So here's the reason for this blog. Everyone that has read me knows I'm blunt, impatient and somewhat not the "I'll wait for you forever type". Did I rush my decision?? Should I have given him, or still give him more time?? Yes 4 days is not long... but 30 hours of conversation is more then a month dating and he won't even give me a phone call. Am I too quick to judge here or did I draw the wrong conclusions??
I've read a lot of blogs and comments about having or not having sex on the first date.
Here's my take on the subject if anyone wants to know.
For me it's about quality of sex, not quantity. Let's say you have a first date, you like him, you feel he likes you, you have sex together and you get the physical release...
Now let's say you have the same first date, you like him, you feel he likes you, you don't have sex. You see him again and you feel more attracted, he thinks you have have a beautiful smile. You go home and think of him before falling asleep, he goes home and think you're a nice women. You both think the good night kiss was nice.
Then the third date, more kissing, more urgency in them. You definitely like him... Funny how he didn't notice before how gorgeous you are.
It's about anticipation. There is great pleasure in this. Everyone that knows will tell you sex in a great part mental. When you don't have sex on the first date you think about how it will be, how you'll feel, you imagine your first night together in great details, you are both more excited about it then you would have ever been if you had slept together on the first date.
There's a good chance that this first night will rock both your boats because you waited and wanted and anticipated it. This is what is all about... It's about wanting eachother like you've never wanted anyone or anything in your life. It's about thinking about him every minute of everyday for wanting to be with him in that way. It's about wanting him, not having him and looking forward to having him. It's like Christmas gifts. You know you're going to get them... you know when you're getting them... and you can't wait for them.
That's my theory... and so far, from my experience, it works.
Listen to grandma Chantale and her years of experience... hehehehehehe
Tell me about yours!!!
I've read here and other places that larger women are better in bed!!
Ladies, why do you think that perception exists?? Is it founded or is it an urban legend??
Gentlemen, are larger women really better in bed? I'd like to hear the point of view of your gender on that. Afterall you're the ones with the data for comparaison. lol
On my blog Mad as hell, Angel brought up something that made me want to do a blog on it. So if you don't like this blog... talk to her... LOL
I was raised by a mother who lived for her kids, husband and people around. It was her purpose in life. She would never think of herself. One of the conversation I remember vividly was her telling me how she was able to scrape money here and there to live us an inheritance. We knew then she had about a year to live. I almost screamed at her. I told her that the money she sacrificed herself for, wouldn't make a big difference split in 14 members in the family and all living comfortably.? I told her that whatever amount I would inherit wasn't worth knowing that I got that money because she sacrificed until the day she died. I ask her why she was doing this. Her answer won't surprise anyone... She did out of love. I told her... Mom, I don't want your money. Use it for yourself. The best inheritance you can give me is to teach me by example, that I should think about myself also.
I believe there are several reasons why women do romantic, nurturing, nice things for every person that surrounds them, making herself come last.??I'd like to hear what you think those reasons are????
Ok people brace yourself this is going to be a long one. I'm so angry right now I'm shooting coffee out of my nose. I can't stand this anymore.
That men can't be honest is a given, and I don't mean all men and I don't mean in all situation. I mean on first dates situation. They cannot be believed, it's as simple as that.
What angers me the most is that women still believe them. We've all been through it ladies. He says he had a wonderful evening, he suggests, offers, promises to call and he never does. How many times have we had blogs on that. It's probably the most recurring topic here and on every blogs around the world. How many women have to have that done to her before we collectively get the picture. How many times do we have to get hurt by their silence. How many women will have to complain again that he stopped writing without a word when everything was going smoothly and he seemed interested. They know we wouldn't do the same to them because we were raised nice they were raised cowards.
Read the blog tittled opinions if you want to know why I'm all worked up!!
Why are women still wondering why he doesn't call and why he said he would when he was under no obligation to do so. BECAUSE that's how they are. Because they can't face looking into our eyes and see the dissapointment they think they are going to see. By promising, they see the smile in our face and they feel great. Then they don't call and don't have to feel like the eels they are because they don't have to face us. They don't write, don't phone. Again, it's a given. Why are women still hurt by that. Why do they take it as rejection instead of what it is, just a male deficient gene of honesty.
Not being compatible is ok and we know that, we don't mind it. But they don't want to have to admit to us. Somehow they have that totally twisted perception that we'll make a scene or start crying in public. They are so fucking full of themselves. They don't understand that if they simply told us the truth, we'd get over them so much quicker and more easily. It's being lied to that hurts us. But no. They would much rather give hope to women and crush it without having to deal with it, thus making the whole thing worse by making it about rejection instead of a simple non compatibility issue. They hit us in our insecurities just where it hurts and they seem to enjoy it because they keep doing it. Actions louder then words.
We should start a list of all the men doing this, exchange names of profiles that don't call. Oups... forget it, because every single one of them would be on it and it would be too long to process.
I'm angry at the women for taking that crap. If every women would tell them when they promise to call, Ya, Ya!! we'll see when you do. They would realize they cry wolf to often as a group. They'd have to stop doing it.
If you have a date with one of the representative of that gender that we can't live without but wish I was a lesbian right now, do not believe anything he says right before parting. If he says he saw fireworks, that you're the best thing in the world, that he'll call. Assume is lying until proven otherwise.
Don't go home thinking how wonderful he was and already planning your outfit for the next date. Do not believe him until he DOES call. Do not start fantasizing that he might be relationship material, because that's what we do and that's why it hurts when he doesn't call, because there more chance that he's lying.
Assume that he's not going to call, and just be happily surprise if he does. Say goodbye and get him out of your mind because the statistics are that he won't call.
I'm mad as hell and I wish we could make them feel what they make us feel.
Ok, for now one, for every date we have in the future, all of us. You have a date with someone, turn all the charm on, the wink, the flirt, the smile, promising them a night of incredible sex, excuse ourselves to go powder our nose and dissapear in the night, leaving him behind with his hard on. Then they'll have just an idea of what it feels like and they too will be saying, but I never asked her to promise me sex, she didn't have to if she didn't want to.
It's either that or start on that list. This behaviour has to stop and it's up to us women to find the answer, because obviously they been doing it for a long time and have no intention of stopping doing empty promises that we don't ask for. All we ask is the simple truth and they can't manage the simple truth.
God I'm mad, mad at women for still believing that crap. We can't change them, have no right to change them. But we can change how we react to them. That we are responsible for. We are not responsible for them, only for ourselves.
WARNING!!!! I don't want to read a single reply from a man, saying something intelligent like I'm a frustrated bitch who couldn't get a date anyway. BACK OFF!!! I'm french, I'm a woman, I'm mad and I'm armed. I CAN and WILL emasculate you with one sentence. You are the way you are, just admit it, like I admit that I'm a fool if I ever believe anything that comes out the mouth of any one of you on a first date.
I was reading the blog, understanding the psychology of man and I saw something I believe only existed in litterature from the past. Is it me or are tears and sex outdated as arsenal to bring a man back.
In the blogs, there is mention of tears, revealing pictures and promises of sex. I personnally, and I strongly stress here it's my personnal opinion and I'm not saying that women are, but I find this type of behaviour, being part of a woman's arsenal, incredibly degrading and making the cause of women go back 25 years. I would never cry in front or for a man that dump me. I just wouldn't, I would feel humiliated. I wouldn't send him pictures or promise sex in covered words, because I would feel like I'm selling and cheapening myself.
About you!! What is your arsenal when trying to get a man back?? All the men outthere, does tears and sex still work and if it does... does it last??
Anyone who has read my blogs for a while know that I believe religion to be a source of conflicts more then any other human invention.? We haven't got the message from religion as there are conflicts, poverty, starvation around the world.
Do you believe that moral comes from religion?? Could there be moral without religion.?
Do you think that if religion had not been invented we would be going around killing and raping left and right??
Do humans owe their moral compass to religion or like any other animals, is it part of the genetic and social fiber.
I don't care what any women or men say, being overweight is no picnic. We can accept who we are and what we are but inside we all know we would trade it for a thin body at the drop of a hat. That being said, it doesn't mean that we are not happy and confident with our bodies because like anything other obstacle in life, we just learn to live and be happy with it.
How do you play being overweight. What I mean is, how do you compensate. Are you nicer or bitchier, did you develop your intellect, cooking skills?? By doing this blog, I thought we could learn from eachother. So to make it easier I'll start with my own answer.
I compensated by developing my intellect. I knew I wouldn't attract attention with my body, so I decided I would with my mind. I'm also more flirty then most women in face to face situation. I use smile, eyes, bodylanguage to incite interest. I also use charm in conversation and behaviour. Works for me.
I make men earn my attention. I do not take crap. He doesn't write or call after a few days, I'm not going to wait for him. It's obvious he doesn't have time for a relationship. I have a busy life too and I can always find 30 seconds for an email or a call saying: thinking of you, but very busy. Don't worry, I'll be in touch soon. So they have to earn my attention by committing to show their interest in me to me.
I also play with clothes that suit my body. High heel shoes and boots are a weakness of mine I indulged in because I have great legs. My best asset. Also, I would never go outside without being properly dressed, groomed and 5 minute make up. Even in jeans and t-shit, I like adding a jacket or accessories that make me feel good about the way I look.
I wasn't always like that, but I've come to realize that making an effort in the way I look make me feel better about my body. I am a large women, I am desirable and sexy as hell, I believe that. Whether others believe it or not is really more their problems then mine.