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Posted on Sun, Dec 14, 2008 05:50

Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62

I was talking to a male friend the other night and he was telling me that he was seeing a woman on a casual basis for over a month now. He would see her regularly and enjoyed the intellectual, emotional and physical side of this relationship/friendship.

All good, till he said that he was still looking for a woman to have a relationship with as she was ¿not his type of woman¿.

Upon further questioning he told me that she had allowed him to pick her up at a bar and had slept with him the first night. Thus making her disqualified as suitable relationship material.

After I thumped him one, lol, we discussed this as I could not believe that he would think like this. Though he did agree that it was double standards, this is how he felt, that he did not want a relationship with someone he considered promiscuous.

Do we as women still face these double standards?

Men are not only allowed but encouraged to crow louder than a rooster in regards to their sexual conquests and have the freedom to express their sexual needs, while women are down graded and demoralized for doing the same.

On asking my friend when he would thought it was right for her to have got sexual with him, he could not answer anything definite, said when it felt right, maybe on the 2nd or 3rd date.

Does it make a woman promiscuous if she knows what she wants and sleeps with a man on the first date? Or can a woman who just holds out for the 3rd date, and then has sex, maintain her appearance of morality? What if she was doing this 2 or 3 times a month?

What would happen if woman used this as a judge of character on men, and disqualified all men that agreed to sleep with them as not suitable partner material?

YES YES YES -- Holding men up to the same standards as they hold us up to it exactly what "WE" need to do and "WE" need to tell them this !! I believe that "WE" are not speaking out enough about this double standard. "WE" are accepting the the image of the slut too readily. Even in this day and age of "I'm woman hear me roar" we are still subjecting ourselves to this judgement. I would love to know why men hold such concepts of us. Where do they come from? Why do they exist? Your friend could not answer a very important question, "WHEN is it right?" Obviously he never thought about this. He only thought about what his concepts are and what his values are. Where did he get them? Are these still the high school "guidelines" to determine which gal is easy and she is not the marrying kind? Excellent topic OZ and it's going to be very interesting to hear from the men or a variety of ages to see if these standards have changed over the generations or if they are "hard coded" into them. Nat

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