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How Important Is Great Sex In A Relationship? Sort by:
one2one
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Posted on Thu, Jun 18, 2009 21:41

I think it's just as much of a mistake to underestimate the importance of sex as it is to overestimate the part it plays in a good relationship. There are many other important element too, and in the end perhaps it's not really about how much of each one you have but rather that they all add up to "enough".


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aimeefla
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Posted on Thu, Jun 18, 2009 15:59

And !!¿ I think on the way home in my car....

¿

The actual physical act of being intimate lasts for how long?¿ short¿ 15 mins or long a few hours?¿ Mentally it lasts much longer. Now my point.¿ The REST LASTS LONGER !!!!

¿

Okay nuff said

¿

Natalie



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aimeefla
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Posted on Thu, Jun 18, 2009 09:50

I'm with most everyone here.¿ I can show the guy what I like in the bedroom. The other parts of the relationship are crucial because sex will waxe and wane.¿¿ The bedroom is important, no doubt about it and as long as both are willing to learn what the other liks you can have good to great intimacy once trust is estabilished.

¿

Ideally, sure both instantly is great, on the side of reality, I'll vote for the sommunication, the concern, the genuine caring. If a guy has those things then intimacy will fall right in line for us both.

¿

Natalie



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butterbll
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Posted on Wed, Jun 17, 2009 20:15

I would have to say Great sex is not a big deal for me. Ide rather have a solid relationship with my partner and have good sex.Because being able to be totally comfortable(and to be able to vunerable yet feel totally safe ) with my partner.


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Wed, Jun 17, 2009 10:24

Truly Oz, only you can determine what the "must haves" are for you. I like sex, but I went 13 years without having sex with a partner after my divorce and I survived it with no harm done. I could take care of my own sexual needs with no problem. It was the other physical intimacies (as well as emotional intimacies) that I missed more than anything - kissing (GOD I missed kissing!), handholding, just touching someone and being touched by someone in an affectionate way. That's why sex wasn't as high on my priority list. I need a partner that is totally comfortable with and really enjoys PDAs (public displays of affection - as well as private displays of affection). That was MY priority. Well one of them anyway. ;) But if good sex is a priority for you then it needs to stay on your list of "must haves". Don't settle. Ever. You'll be disappointed if you do and that road leads to dissatisfaction (no pun intended) and heartbreak. As for your previous partner who was willing to learn to please you but didn't continue to please you - well that is an indication that his commitment to pleasing you was slipping. Whether it is sexual or communication a willingness to learn is important because both of those things are learned skills and can be taught. But willingness to commit to making your partner happy and doing what it takes to KEEP your partner happy and keep a relationship going after the initial excitement wears off is more important. Judging whether a person has that commitment factor is a harder thing to do. Sometimes only time can tell.


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BridgeportKid
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Posted on Tue, Jun 16, 2009 11:20

Aside from the obvious biological functions, sex is a form of communication. All or most or many of us have been hot 'n' bothered at one time or another, met someone at a party or a wedding reception or some other social event and just wanted to rip each other's clothing away and have at it. That's happened to me a time or two, and guess what: I enjoyed it, guilt-free. But I want something more. Intimacy is is more, much more than the earthly aspect. Sex is ALWAYS better if it has an emotional meaning.


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RWGROOT60
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Posted on Tue, Jun 16, 2009 07:27

I read this post and I couldn't stop laughing. 83 views and no guys responding lol I think a relationship is about intimacy. Without it for me anyway it cannot survive. And intimacy isn't sex...........but it sure does make the bedposts turn to sawdust. I am never considered myself a great lover,in a sexual way, but I have always known how to make someone feel awesome. Some how I think that is the intimacy, the sharing that in the end that will sustain you. If you have that....and the guy is attentive to your needs , desires and fetishes than look out. Who knows what a pop can will do


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Sun, Jun 14, 2009 22:17

Yes very good points here, thanks. For me it is important for it to be at least good, as you can work on it from there. Though I guess if you have good communication that too can be worked on to make it great. How willing the partner to do any of it may the more the point than where they are right now? I do want it all and was just wondering which area is easier to teach someone .. the sex or the communication? Of course Im talking from the point of view that they are respectful, kind generous and all the rest. Or are people really who they are in a sort of native state ... not to be changed to a great degree? One of my relationsips was with a wonderful man who needed a bit of fine tuning in the bedroom department. He was willing to be shown some new things and what I needed to make this expierience great. Well he learned and things were great for a little while, but his usual set behaviour returned after a little while. Now I know this man cared for me and my happiness a lot, but it was his natural state? Though this too can happen with comminication .. right? So should I hold out and look for the right one, with that right balance of being great and great ... maybe I should?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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LoveLife
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Posted on Tue, Jun 09, 2009 22:31

well sounds like its important to you therefore that MAKES it important to your relationships.


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Tue, Jun 09, 2009 17:39

I think True said it well. Great sex is something that can be learned if your partner is willing. For Peter and I, early in our getting-to-know-each-other process (and before we had sex) we discussed what we wanted out of a relationship and we were both of the mindset that good sex would be nice, but it wasn't primarily what we were looking for from a partner. We preferred a companion, friend, someone to laugh with, share experiences with, support us when we're down, cheer with us over our victories, someone to come home to at night, and hold at the end of a long day. We found that in each other. But we were very lucky in that we also wound up with great sex. :) I think there are many reasons for that. Mostly, that we keep our minds open to new experiences. That is easy for us because we trust each other completely and we find great joy in pleasing each other. If he were a complete dud in the bedroom, I'd probably still marry him and I think I'd still be happy with him. But I'm very glad he's a sex god instead! *weg*


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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Tue, Jun 09, 2009 12:05

If my partner is caring, loving, respectful....everything I need in all areas of my life then I am extremely content with that....sex comes second for me over these things.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Jun 08, 2009 16:35

I suppose compromise is what relationships are all about. However, I don't believe that someone who only rates "good" in is treatment of me (as a whole) versus a "great" rating on his performance in bed should be kept around for long. I would much rather be involved with someone who treats me respectfully and genuinely. Bedroom techniques can always be taught later, as long as the partners are willing. It's the relationship OUTSIDE the bedroom that will sustain what happens INSIDE. I don't purport to be an expert in bed, and I hope to learn what makes my partner happy, with time, effort, patience and love. I expect the same from any individual that I am committed to. I don't care HOW good someone is in bed, if he is disrespectful, doesn't support me in my endeavors, doesn't care to learn how to make me happy and doesn't love me enough to be faithful, he can take his prowess elsewhere. It will be worthless to me. --True


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