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ozredhead62's blog and others' comments
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The right time to discuss being exclusive?
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84 Views
06/08/09
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I tried to search this topic to see if it has been done before, but on these blogs thats nearly impossible to do. So here it is, sorry in advance if it has been covered already.
When is the right time to discuss commitment or being exclusive with a man that you have been dating?
I was talking about this with a male friend the other day and his answer was ... 6 months!!
Now call me fast or stupid, not sure which one, maybe both, but that seemed to be a long time?
Now maybe I have always been fast going in my relationships but I dont think I have ever been dating, seeing someone weekly, which had progressed into a physical relationship and then waited 6 months to discuss being exclusive.
At what point in the relationship have you discussed this? Are women more keen to discuss this than men? Do men get scared off if this topic is brought up too early?
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How Important Is Great Sex In A Relationship?
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203 Views
06/07/09
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Recently I have been thinking about men and the choices we make in picking our partners.
Personally I seem to want it all, that perfect relationship that is full of communication, laughter, honesty, respect and great sex. What most of us are after ...right?
Though I do wonder at how real this expectation is?
Having a great sexual relationship is a big thing for me ..well I hope its big ..ha ha.
I have had the relationship where I have had other elements that I have wanted in a partner but the sexual side has been satisfying though at the same time somewhat lacking.
Of course I have also had the "take your breath away" relationnships where the lacking appeared outside the bedroom.
If you have a partner that is great on all the other attributes but only rates as "good" though not "great" in the sexual attibutes ... is that good enough?
What about that partner that is "great" sexually and turns your world upside down each time, but is only "good" in other areas?
Which would you choose?
Will taking either choice have you yearning for that thing that you dont have in the realtionships?
How much of a compromise do we make here?
Is it too much to expect to be able to have it all?
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How your weight affects your choice in men?
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208 Views
06/01/09
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Hi to all you lovley people, it feels like I have been away a long time and do have to say that I have missed you all. :)
I have been reading recent blogs on body image and how this may or may not define you and it brought up something I wanted to throw out there.
When I look at most of my previous relationships in an attempt to understand them, understand myself and maybe future ones as well, I have looked at the fact that I had a limited selection of men to choose from.
What I mean here is that due to my being what I consider beyond ample size I feel that the amount of men that are available to choose from are far less than someone that may be of average size. Now I dont know if this is true or not, just something I feel.
Even now, when I go out to a club the percentage of men that may be interested in a larger woman I would say are something like 1% certainly not more than 3%.
That does not allow for much selection, so how I am I meant to find that man that is perfect for me?
I wonder about my previous relationships and if I got into them because they were available, more so than because they were right?
I do know that a couple of them were with men that liked BBW's but this was more due their own issues and insecurities and this would show up as fear of my wanting to or attempting to lose weight.
At one point I decided to that I would not date while I was still big and would wait till I had lost my weight and had a better selection to choose from, but dont know how wise that is considering I have been like this for more than 30 years? Argggh!
I am still in the process of understanding how my weight has defined my choice in men and if this is my personal issue or something that is real and out there?
What do you think? Has your weight affected who you have chosen to partner with? Do you feel that you had enough options or have you had to pick the best from what was available rather than what you really wanted?
If you were your ideal body weight would you be going out with men that are different to the type you may be going out with now?
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Am I Being Prudish?
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280 Views
05/01/09
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I really need your opinions and experiences on this dilemma that I find myself in.
I have been seeing/dating a very nice man for a few weeks now. We have spent quite a bit of time together both on the phone and in person and I suppose are starting to become a bit more serious with each other.
He is gentle, articulate, educated, witty, sensual, artistic, very attentive and cute in a bohemian sort of way.
We got on well from the first day we spoke online and despite some differences I can not deny that we are good together.
What else could I want right?
In the early days of getting to know each other he told me that he smoked dope, but at the time I thought he meant occasional recreational use. It turns out that I assumed wrong.
He smokes a little bit every day, and from what I can tell has been doing so for many years. Now I can say that he has never appeared stoned to me, even though I know he has smoked, just before and even while he was with me. He is responsible with his money, kids and full time work and does not appear any different even after he has had a smoke.
Now it is not for me to say what is right for people, but I have been down that road and decided that it was not something I wanted or needed in my life. I have not smoked in over 20 years and have no intention of doing so again.
I do have some friends that do smoke, and some that take other recreational drugs, but usually not when they are with me.
Now I find myself in not knowing what to do here? Wondering if I am prudish in regards to this situation? I dont feel I can nor want to ask him to stop, but do feel concerned about progressing this relationship along.
I have smeared the boundaries in allowing him to smoke while with me, at first not realising, as he smokes home made cigarettes, but even after I knew, just thinking this was one of those occasional times.
Having had one long term relationship with a binge drinker who slowly changed as his drinking increased, I guess it really has me concerned.
How should I tackle this when I talk to him about it?
Can some people smoke long term without it really affecting them, mentally or emotionally?
Should I take this as a sign of him not being able to cope with life?
Is this relationship doomed or am I just being prudish?
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Why Offer Me Sex?
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700 Views
03/20/09
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Hey to all you lovely peoole in blog land.? Wanted to throw out some thoughts on something I cant get my thinking around about some of the guys out there.?
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Now I believe that a woman can get sex any time she wants, she holds the power in this, and if she in not all that fussy,?sex is available to her at her will.
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Ok hope you agree and are with me so far?
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So have to wonder why some men think that offering me sex will entice and interest me?? I think I am quite clear about this in my profile.
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Even after I have?told them that I am not looking for this and have this available at hand if I wanted,?it still does not stop them.
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It feels a bit like offering a person that lives on an island a trip to the beach.? lol??
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Do they have nothing else to offer?? Do they lack personality?? Or do they just think?that I?am desperate for it?
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What do you guys and girls think?? Is this a basic nature of the beast? lol?
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Though in saying this are we women the opposite, do we offer?friendship, relationships and love, and discount the things that they cant get enough of?
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P.S.? Watch how fast the "views" count moves because I have the word "sex" in the title ..... interesting. ? he he he
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So when is big just TOO BIG ?
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455 Views
02/27/09
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Now I know that I can really appreciate and have a preference for certain sizing of particular body parts, but when is big just too big.
I have been speaking to a really hot looking man, articulate, witty and successul, that has been having trouble with finding women to stay with him.
Upon pushing him to clarify this as I could not see why this man was single and why women would not stick to like honey, he eventually disclosed his little problem. lol
Well this man has a certain organ that measures 12.5 inches or 31.8 cm !!! Omg, yes i asked him to prove it,seen the pics. How could I resist? LOL
He finds that women just run away from him and his search is for that woman that could take him without him holding back.
Now that made me wonder if this is even at all possible? Being challenged size wise the other way can be worked around by varying positons and angle, well in most cases, lol , but is there a way to be able to accomidate more when there is no where left to go.
I know i have an idea preference which is actually within what would be considered average, or maybe a bit above. lol, what about you girls, would you run from something like this, or run to it. he he he
Now I know what you may be thinking ..... and your right lol I would love to get to know him better but not ready to jump on the horse without knowing we are going to enjoy the ride. :)
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Why be a fake?
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192 Views
02/27/09
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Hi to all you wonderful people in blogland, I have not been on much recently as i have been busy with life and been a very lucky girl and had quite a few dates.
Am a memeber on some other sites and perhaps because I was the new girl on the block, got quite a few responses, some that i have been rather interested in.
Ok so you all know the drill you talk get to know them and if you are lucky one day you meet. All good not too hard to think with and should be so simple. Right? ..... NOT lol
I am starting to lose count of the amount of men that have twisted the truth to suit the situation, told part of the truth, or half the picture.
One man I really liked said he had broke up with his ex about 5 months before, truth came out after we were dating for a couple of weeks and she called him to say she wanted him back (he went). Turns out is was only 1 month before.
Another said he was 5 ft 4, my height, which was not ideal but ok. We meet and he is not even as tall as me WITH his booster shoes on.
Then there is the one that says he has a little bot belly, ok, we met and he was rounder than one of those exercise balls you can sit on.
To top it off another one that was was taking it up big how he wants good conversationa and that connection with a person and he would take that above just having sex with someone he does not like or connect with. Great, we establish that there is a connection, and agree to meet. He then cancels on me last minute because he got an offer from a woman for sex, that he already admited to me that he did not even like.
Ok had my rant here, lol, but I do wonder why bother???
Granted we all want to show our best side. I do too. I have what i consider is a nice pic here for example, but i do tell the men that this is one of those special pics that shows me in my best light and that i look different in real life, and I also have pics that show me looking different too.
If we re really out here to meet someone that may become special, why do we need to push the truth , or lie? Surely the end result is not good if you are deceiving someone, how ever slight this may be?
I am sure that women are all too guilty of this as well, and I guess I wont always disclose everything about me straight off, but would and do if I was asked. Want some one who is into me for me and all that i really am. otherwise why bother?
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Second time around?
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306 Views
11/27/08
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OK all you lovely bloggers really want your opinion here.
I was dating a really nice man over 12 months ago for about 2 months, who at the time said that he did not want a relationship with me, so we ended and moved on. Stayed friends though.
Now he wants to try again. He says that now he can trust me and open up to me, which is something he would not do before.
I think of him as a friend now, though back then would have liked to try for more.
So can we go back, can what is now looked upon as a friendship be made into something more?
Has anyone been in this type of situation before? What happened, did it work out?
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The Why's of Men
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128 Views
02/23/09
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1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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Is Dating An Investment?
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220 Views
01/15/09
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I was having a chat with a friend from here last week and we got into a really deep conversation about relationships.
He made one comment that I wanted to put here to get your thoughts on.
He felt that women considered dating and relationships as an investment and expected a return or payout from the man. (tell me if I got this wrong xx)
Do you consider the time you take to get to know someone or date someone as an investment?
If you do, then do you expect a return for your investment?
What type of return or payoff would that be?
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Sex and Double Standards
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576 Views
12/14/08
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I was talking to a male friend the other night and he was telling me that he was seeing a woman on a casual basis for over a month now. He would see her regularly and enjoyed the intellectual, emotional and physical side of this relationship/friendship.
All good, till he said that he was still looking for a woman to have a relationship with as she was ?not his type of woman?.
Upon further questioning he told me that she had allowed him to pick her up at a bar and had slept with him the first night. Thus making her disqualified as suitable relationship material.
After I thumped him one, lol, we discussed this as I could not believe that he would think like this. Though he did agree that it was double standards, this is how he felt, that he did not want a relationship with someone he considered promiscuous.
Do we as women still face these double standards?
Men are not only allowed but encouraged to crow louder than a rooster in regards to their sexual conquests and have the freedom to express their sexual needs, while women are down graded and demoralized for doing the same.
On asking my friend when he would thought it was right for her to have got sexual with him, he could not answer anything definite, said when it felt right, maybe on the 2nd or 3rd date.
Does it make a woman promiscuous if she knows what she wants and sleeps with a man on the first date? Or can a woman who just holds out for the 3rd date, and then has sex, maintain her appearance of morality? What if she was doing this 2 or 3 times a month?
What would happen if woman used this as a judge of character on men, and disqualified all men that agreed to sleep with them as not suitable partner material?
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Sit On Santa;s Knee
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230 Views
12/14/08
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OK so we are in the silly season with most of us rushing around like crazy getting ready for Santa to arrive.
Yesterday my six year old asked me what I wanted for Santa to bring me?
Well I had to stop and think what I really wanted just for me.
Its been quite a while since Santa came to visit me. I must have been a naughty girl. LOL
I really had to think what is it that I would ask from Santa that would just be for me, something that would make me happy.
So come on and sit on Santa's knee, and tell us what would you ask for this year, that is just for you to make you happy? :)
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Typical Behavior?
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212 Views
12/05/08
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In recent times I have had it mentioned to me that being a natural red head and being "fiery" that I must have a bad temper.
Seems its stereotyped like the "dumb blonde" (sorry) comments we have often heard.
Now when faced with this sort of "expert" knowledge how does one defend oneself?
I personally think I'm one of the most even tempered people I know. If I do get angry I will go quite till I have calmed down and then I will want to talk about it, calmly. I'm not one for screaming scathing fights, despite how good they say the make up sex is. LOL
So do we really have preconceived ideas about other peoples behavior according to their physical appearance? What do you think? Is there a basis of truth to them?
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Are You A Genius?
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246 Views
12/06/08
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Hi all, who likes a bit of a mental challenge? Hope you have fun with it. :)
24 h in a d=24 hours in a day
26 L of the A
7 w of the W
7 d of the W
12 S of the Z
66 B of the B
52 C in a P (WJs)
13 S in the USF
18 H on a GC
39 B of the OT
5 T on a F
90 D in a RA
3 BM (SHTR)
32 is the T in DF
15 P in a RT
3 W on a T
100 C in a D
11 P in a F (S) T
12 M in a Y
13 = UFS
8 T on a O
29 D in F in a LY
365 D in a Y
13 L in a BD
52 W in a Y
9 L of a C
60 M in a H
23 P of C in the HB
64 S on a CB
9 P in SA
6 B to an O in C
1000 Y in a M
27 B in the NT
According to Mensa if you get 23 of these you are a genius. Only 2 Mensa members achieved full marks.
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Treat Them Mean Keep Them Keen?
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328 Views
11/05/08
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How many times before had I heard this comment being used mainly by men referring to how they treat their women.
The other day I heard a friend use this in regards to a women that he was interested in, and how he felt that she was treating him.
Got me thinking if this sort of behavior really works? It brought forth a lot of questions. :)
Do we all, men and women, like to have someone make it a challenge to get them? Usually in the game of love there is one person that is chasing and the other letting them try to catch them.
If you like to do the chasing, do you no longer desire or find someone exciting once you feel you have got them?
Honestly I find the idea so alien to me it seems like it playing games. If I like someone I want to let them know.
What do you think? Have you had the "treat them mean keep them keen" treatment done to you, and did you like it? Is this playing games with someone?
Is this about giving more attention to the one that is being "mean", or is this about some sort of power play?
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X Rated Photos
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801 Views
11/01/08
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I just had to share this one with you. LOL
I just went to see who viewed me and right there as a main photo was a big black dong looking back at me!!
Well you could imagine my reaction to this..... YEP .....where is that magnifying glass....quick before LF's discovers it. LOL
My first thought, went to Ariesram. Well no, to be honest my second thoughts :)
NO NO ...dirty minds...not for that reason, but because he could not even keep a baby photo up here, and here I could see ALL in full techni color.
Does this really work for you guys? Do you get lots more responses from the women on here?
I know if a woman did this she would, but we do not think the same way as you do .... or do we?
Are we women stimulated but seeing the male naked flesh?
Would a photo of great body parts influence you on whether you would want to know that person better?
Oh so do you want to see too???
Well I went back to get his user id, and damn he was gone. Now I had thought I remembered his user name but do forgive me as I was somewhat distracted. he he
I think it was "friendhp"?
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Just Not Ready For A Relationship
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243 Views
11/01/08
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I was talking to two friends recently about relationships. Now both of these said to me that they were just NOT READY to get involved with anyone.
Now of of these friends met a man 3 weeks ago and WHAM she now has totally changed.
They have even decided that they want to move in together as soon as they find something suitable.
Before this you could not even get her around the idea that she wanted to date anyone!!!
The other friend also says this, and he has good reasons, but I do wonder if he met the RIGHT person would this change for him too?
What do you all think? Are we maybe only not ready until we find that special person that takes our heart?
If the person you are interested in is saying they are not ready, can you presume that YOU are not that person and move on?
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Do You Feel You Know Me?
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394 Views
10/28/08
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Hi all in wonderful blog land. Think you are all just fabulous. xx
Now I have been here a while and am up here with my thoughts and comments a bit....OK a LOT. lol
So I was wondering today, do you feel that you know me?
Do you feel that maybe as a blogger any of us are somewhat more than strangers because you get to read our thoughts and feelings?
Can you see changes in our words or behaviors, just as you would see a friends?
I have to say that I just love blogging (thank you all for putting up with me xx)
I have resolved many things and questions that may have been bothering me. In some ways it has been like mini therapy. LOL
Have any others found this too?
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Good Conversation
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240 Views
10/25/08
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Every now and again I get someone that has initiated a chat with me on here or on messenger.
Well the chat starts of with how are you which I answer and ask them the same back, so far so good. hey?
Well this is where the conversation then stops, from the other side. Now i wait for the the next message and nothing comes. OK, maybe they are just nervous or something? So I then ask them another question.
Well after doing this about 5 times and only having them respond to my questions (usually only one liners) and not say anything else, I wonder what the hell I'm doing here? lol
They asked to speak to ME, yet I am the one that is making the conversation.
It is not THAT HARD to make conversation!
Just ask questions and share a bit about yourself so the other person finds it easier to ask a questions back!!!!
Is this rocket science? LOL
(Now want to say here that this is just some people. Most are pretty good and I enjoy their chats very much)xxx
You really flatter someone when you want to know abut them and the only way to do this is to ask questions.
Really did wonder why did they call me? If they called me to have me ask about them...
Well as the saying goes....dont call me I'll call you.
Does any body else have this happen to them? How do you handle it?
Am I being too harsh here? :)
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