If you could say anything to the last person you dated ... or the last one that broke your heart, a little or a lot, what would it be?? Anything ... it doesn't have to be politically correct and you don't need to worry that they'll get mad or be hurt because they'll never see it (unless you met them here), but it does have to make it past the censors. ?
If you could say anything to the last person you dated ... or the last one that broke your heart, a little or a lot, what would it be?? Anything ... it doesn't have to be politically correct and you don't need to worry that they'll get mad or be hurt because they'll never see it (unless you met them here), but it does have to make it past the censors. ?
Well, for me it would be a lass that doesnt know what she wanted, all she knew was she felt safe by me.
THAT isnt a basis of a relationship, thats the basis for a friend... and as usual, I missed it and allowed a relationship to commence.
To the lass I would say, "There are issues needing resolved, feelings having been destroyed, but we both knew in time that the failure was between the past decision. I hope you can find the peace in life to allow a stronger and more truer relationship"
To me i would say... "Dohhhhhh"!!!
Great topic this, am gonna be watching this one.
Hugz to all fae Me!!!
Well, for me it would be a lass that doesnt know what she wanted, all she knew was she felt safe by me.
THAT isnt a basis of a relationship, thats the basis for a friend... and as usual, I missed it and allowed a relationship to commence.
To the lass I would say, "There are issues needing resolved, feelings having been destroyed, but we both knew in time that the failure was between the past decision. I hope you can find the peace in life to allow a stronger and more truer relationship"
Ok ... I guess it is my turn but this is harder than I thought, and everyone had such great responses. I did get a chance to see Karma at work the last time my heart broke in a really big way, and it helped heal part of it for me. So to CVSIII ... thanks for being there when my dad died. I'm still grateful for that. And thank you, too, for leaving. I loved you and I couldn't do it, but it was the best thing you could have done for me. It took a while to get there, but I really appreciate that, too. and PH ... I think you are brilliantly gifted, very intelligent; perfect for me in some ways, but I rarely felt sure of how you felt about me. So at some point I stopped being as open and affectionate with you as I could have been. I know now it must have been confusing. It was for me, too. I wanted everything we had together, except the part where I felt perpetually off balance, alone even when I was with you, sometimes, and you felt more comfortable maintaining the power differential you'd set up between us. It sort of bites for a relationship.Huh, that did feel kinda good.
Ok ... I guess it is my turn but this is harder than I thought, and everyone had such great responses. I did get a chance to see Karma at work the last time my heart broke in a really big way, and it helped heal part of it for me. So to CVSIII ... thanks for being there when my dad died. I'm still grateful for that. And thank you, too, for leaving. I loved you and I couldn't do it, but it was the best thing you could have done for me. It took a while to get there, but I really appreciate that, too. and PH ... I think you are brilliantly gifted, very intelligent; perfect for me in some ways, but I rarely felt sure of how you felt about me. So at some point I stopped being as open and affectionate with you as I could have been. I know now it must have been confusing. It was for me, too. I wanted everything we had together, except the part where I felt perpetually off balance, alone even when I was with you, sometimes, and you felt more comfortable maintaining the power differential you'd set up between us. It sort of bites for a relationship.Huh, that did feel kinda good.
I guess I would say, thank you.. thank you for showing me the BEST of a relationship, even though it didn't last, I now gauge my relationships to what ours was at one time. I know what I want in my life, and I will wait for something that measures up and will NOT settle for less. I also believe in karma, and even if I don't get to see the fruits of that karma, I know that one day you will be hurt or as disappointed as I have been. I want the type of relationship that I and all of our friends THOUGHT that we had at one time. I know I deserve that happiness and I will have it one day.
I guess I would say, thank you.. thank you for showing me the BEST of a relationship, even though it didn't last, I now gauge my relationships to what ours was at one time. I know what I want in my life, and I will wait for something that measures up and will NOT settle for less. I also believe in karma, and even if I don't get to see the fruits of that karma, I know that one day you will be hurt or as disappointed as I have been. I want the type of relationship that I and all of our friends THOUGHT that we had at one time. I know I deserve that happiness and I will have it one day.
I am sorry that I was a more aware of your feelings. By me not being attuned to your feelings and I not able to freely express mine. I let a small agrument poision our relationship.
I am sorry that I was a more aware of your feelings. By me not being attuned to your feelings and I not able to freely express mine. I let a small agrument poision our relationship.
"You are a spineless twit! While I appreciate that you have been a good provdier for the children through out the years, I do NOT have to say you were a good husband. In fact, you were pi$$ poor as a husband. You were demeaning, emotionally unavailable and sometimes abusive. You never stood up for me as a woman OR as a mother. You didn't believe in me and you undermined my dreams and aspirations with the ruse of being a supportive husband, while talking me out of my dreams. I regret that I gave up so much of myself to try to make you happy and that I now have to re-create my life in order to live it! You once told me, in so many words, that I couldn't make it without you-- and I was beaten down enough to believe it. Well, it's the dawning of a new era, buddy. You may have gotten the upper hand in this divorce (only because you sat on the money, equity, stocks and assets)-- but both of us know that you only did it to try to control me. It didn't work. I still don't love you. I still don't want to be with you. I still will celebrate the day I get that decree--and that day WILL come. You go ahead and enjoy the way things have worked out for you. Just remember, when your little victory party is all over, you have to live with your actions. I will love again, one day. And I might even get married. I hope you find someone that can put up with infidelity and emotional detachment-- you two would really deserve each other. But in the mean time, I am going to become the woman you never allowed me to be. I am going to become the woman you were afraid of all this time. Until then, I'm just waiting for the gavel to fall..."
Yup-- that's about it. LOL! Thanks, One2One
How about:
"You are a spineless twit! While I appreciate that you have been a good provdier for the children through out the years, I do NOT have to say you were a good husband. In fact, you were pi$$ poor as a husband. You were demeaning, emotionally unavailable and sometimes abusive. You never stood up for me as a woman OR as a mother. You didn't believe in me and you undermined my dreams and aspirations with the ruse of being a supportive husband, while talking me out of my dreams. I regret that I gave up so much of myself to try to make you happy and that I now have to re-create my life in order to live it! You once told me, in so many words, that I couldn't make it without you-- and I was beaten down enough to believe it. Well, it's the dawning of a new era, buddy. You may have gotten the upper hand in this divorce (only because you sat on the money, equity, stocks and assets)-- but both of us know that you only did it to try to control me. It didn't work. I still don't love you. I still don't want to be with you. I still will celebrate the day I get that decree--and that day WILL come. You go ahead and enjoy the way things have worked out for you. Just remember, when your little victory party is all over, you have to live with your actions. I will love again, one day. And I might even get married. I hope you find someone that can put up with infidelity and emotional detachment-- you two would really deserve each other. But in the mean time, I am going to become the woman you never allowed me to be. I am going to become the woman you were afraid of all this time. Until then, I'm just waiting for the gavel to fall..."
Good topic - my response would be or rather what it should have been.... Timing was off but we could have made it work with better communication if we had really talked....in person.
Good topic - my response would be or rather what it should have been.... Timing was off but we could have made it work with better communication if we had really talked....in person.
For me, to the last person, being in the band scene traveling a lot, that I was close to, I would say to her: The?trip was fun and we had a lot of?awesome times.? But I wish that we could have kept up the relationship even after I left the band scene for a while.? And to the whole host of others that I met while traveling,?Thanks for the very fond memories that I cherish each day.? xxxxx?
For me, to the last person, being in the band scene traveling a lot, that I was close to, I would say to her: The?trip was fun and we had a lot of?awesome times.? But I wish that we could have kept up the relationship even after I left the band scene for a while.? And to the whole host of others that I met while traveling,?Thanks for the very fond memories that I cherish each day.? xxxxx?
Funny that you should ask this question. Last week, my last boyfriend showed up at my job very unexpectedly, (we broke up 5 years ago), and apologized. He did not say for what, (nor did he look me in the eye), but he did not have to do either. We both knew that he was a jerk and that he took my kindness for weakness. I also know that he only came there because he thought that I would help him do or get something. I didn't know what mess he wanted me to help him with and I didn't care to know either. Our meeting was brief because after his apology I told him that it wasn't necessary nor was I interested in what was going on in his life and wished him a nice day. At that, he said "OK", and left.
Had I not been at my job, I would have told him that his apology was accepted and thanked him for the relationship because it changed the way that I went about choosing men. Because our relationship was so toxic for me, my eyes were finally open to the reason that I was in so many terrible relationships. Being with him showed me the following:
--Feeling sorry for someone is not a reason to continue a relationship and that feeling sorry for someone is not love. Staying with that person just because you feel sorry for them is a crutch for not being alone. --Red flags should not be ignored, but investigated and better yet, a reason to end the relationship. --No one can love a door mat and that you have to love and respect yourself before you can expect someone to love and respect you. --No matter how hard you try, you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help himself. --Just because I was hurt, I don't harbor bitterness. Forgiveness is very liberating.
I really would have liked to have told him these things but the setting was all wrong.
Funny that you should ask this question. Last week, my last boyfriend showed up at my job very unexpectedly, (we broke up 5 years ago), and apologized. He did not say for what, (nor did he look me in the eye), but he did not have to do either. We both knew that he was a jerk and that he took my kindness for weakness. I also know that he only came there because he thought that I would help him do or get something. I didn't know what mess he wanted me to help him with and I didn't care to know either. Our meeting was brief because after his apology I told him that it wasn't necessary nor was I interested in what was going on in his life and wished him a nice day. At that, he said "OK", and left.
Had I not been at my job, I would have told him that his apology was accepted and thanked him for the relationship because it changed the way that I went about choosing men. Because our relationship was so toxic for me, my eyes were finally open to the reason that I was in so many terrible relationships. Being with him showed me the following:
--Feeling sorry for someone is not a reason to continue a relationship and that feeling sorry for someone is not love. Staying with that person just because you feel sorry for them is a crutch for not being alone. --Red flags should not be ignored, but investigated and better yet, a reason to end the relationship. --No one can love a door mat and that you have to love and respect yourself before you can expect someone to love and respect you. --No matter how hard you try, you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help himself. --Just because I was hurt, I don't harbor bitterness. Forgiveness is very liberating.
I really would have liked to have told him these things but the setting was all wrong.
