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Say Anything
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352 Views
01/10/09
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If you could say anything to the last person you dated ... or the last one that broke your heart, a little or a lot, what would it be?
¿
Anything ... it doesn't have to be politically correct and you don't need to worry that they'll get mad or be hurt because they'll never see it (unless you met them here), but it does have to make it past the censors.
¿
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What I Said Was
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138 Views
10/06/09
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Quote: I hope if I ever show rudeness or insensitivity someone tells me so in an intelligent but blunt way.
OK, Azure, but please remember you asked.
I have seen a lot of what I consider put downs in your blog comments. Questioning other people's intelligence, maturity and morality has been pretty common, in fact. And you have gone as far as indicating that men deserve it when you wrote, "But you must admit, so many men that were stinkers caused it." Which is a little like the classic abusive thought process that says, "If she didn't ___, I wouldn't have to hit her."
Really.
Referring to women as "us" and men as "them", making generalizations and broad, sweeping statements can easily polarize and offend both men and women. I've cringed at some of the things you've written. I would be insulted if I were a man, and as a woman I don't care to have you speak for me.
Ever.
Comments like, "Until men can see this is their problem and force themselves to learn how to communicate all their emotions there will always be this nasty gulf between men and women." is another good example. It creates a rather inhospitable (nasty) environment in which to do that, while assuming they can't anyway and that everyone knows it.
I don't. I've known men who were better at communicating their feelings for me than I was for them.
Although you give lip service to the idea that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I don't think you really believe it. It's used in a context and way that is meant to discount what they've said. I think some of your blog comments suggest instead that everyone is entitled to your opinion (which is fine, I'm a big believer in freedom of speech), but then you take it a step further and expect everyone to submit to it (not fine, a bit like intellectual fascism, actually). You praise everyone who agrees with you and blah, blah blog (or is it flog) to death everyone who doesn't until they give up or acquiesce.
Now, I know I've likely offended you, although that wasn't my intent. So, I realize I'm on thin ice asking you to do me a favor, but I'm going to ask anyway.
Wait.
Wait ... for a couple days before you respond (because I have a hunch you will) to tell me that I don't know what I think, what I feel, what I see and what I've heard.
"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Bumper Stickers
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150 Views
09/19/09
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I was stuck at a red light the other day and had a chance to read some great bumper stickers on the car ahead of me. My favorite one was a quote from Gandhi.
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
What's your favorite quote or bumper sticker?
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Body Image Quiz
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191 Views
05/21/09
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I found this online and thought I'd share. The quiz, unfortunately, doesn't tell you how to score your answers, but it's good food for thought, anyway.
Every woman, regardless of her size, has body image issues. Because women's bodies are constantly scrutinized and commented upon, and Madison Avenue and the media promote unrealistic ideals, how could it be otherwise?
In reality, our bodies - no matter what their shape or size - are wondrous things. They keep us moving through our world, they have an amazing capacity to heal themselves and they are intriguing in their diversity of beauty.
Take this quiz to discover what your body image says about you:
1. Think of three things you love about your body. Okay, how long did it take you to come up with your list?
A. Less than 15 seconds
B. Under a minute
C. About five minutes
D. I'm still thinking
2. How often do you weigh yourself?
A. Never
B. Once a month
C. Once a week
D. Almost every day
3. What best describes your thoughts when you stand nude in front of a mirror?
A. "Boy, am I hot, or what?"
B. "Hmmm... My (body part) is kind of nice."
C. "I've got to do something about my (body part)."
D. I would never stand nude in front of a mirror
4. What are you most likely to wear to a rollicking party?
A. Something slinky that shows off my curves
B. An outfit with a fitted silhouette
C. Something loose and comfortable
D. An outfit that hides my (body part)
5. How often do you choose not to participate in an activity (go to a party or swim, for example) because of your body shape or size?
A. Never
B. Rarely
C. Sometimes
D. Frequently
6. When you make love, do you:
A. Delight in your partner's enjoyment of your body?
B. Have fleeting doubts about your attractiveness to your partner?
C. Cringe when your partner touches your (body part)?
D. Insist upon turning off the lights first?
7. When you receive a compliment about your appearance, do you feel:
A. Deserving
B. Flattered
C. Suspicious
D. Incredulous
8. What is your response when a friend or co-worker complains about how fat she is?
A. "Get over it!"
B. "You look terrific to me."
C. "I know exactly what you mean."
D. "Let's join that new diet center tomorrow."
Scoring:
40+ points:
Body Politic:
You go, girl! You've overcome the negativity in the world around you and are proud of your curves. Your confidence and your determination to live your life fully are admirable. Maybe you should consider writing a book, giving a workshop or finding other ways to share your success with those who struggle with body image issues.
25 - 39 points:
Body Beautiful:
Virtually everyone has days when they feel less than attractive, but you're well on your way to loving every inch of your beautiful body. Remember to give yourself a break and take a look at the marvelous variety of body types around you. Think about the aspects of your body you with which you are less than pleased, and come up with affirmations to counteract the negative thoughts you might have. Stand in front of a mirror twice a day and repeat the affirmations - you'll eventually believe them!
10 - 24 points:
Body Shop:
You need to do some repairs to your body image. Start focussing on the positive instead of the negative, and remember that your self-esteem is linked to the way you perceive your body. Don't let the way you feel about your body prevent you from getting all you want out of life. Take the time to look your very best and drink in the compliments of those around you. Remind yourself that you deserve the accolades, and replay them in your mind when you're feeling negative. Eventually, you'll begin to believe your own press!
9 points or less:
Body Blow:
Life is too short to feel so badly about your body. You need to understand that your body, with all its seeming "imperfections" is a miracle. Try and open yourself to the possibility that you are fine just the way you are. Read related books, see a therapist that specializes in body image issues and seek support from friends in your journey. It takes work to get to a place of self-acceptance, but the rewards are immeasurable.
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Marriage Proposal
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172 Views
05/17/09
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Here's my question ... when is talk of marriage actually a marriage proposal?
Now, I understand that if I happen to mention that I drive a manual transmission because I prefer it and a man says, "Omg. Marry me!" that it's not actually a marriage proposal. My potato salad got the same response once. It's more like saying, "You rock or you're a great woman." It feels fantastic, but there's really no need to call my Mom with the big news.
Sometimes the intention isn't as clear. Does "I want to marry you" mean the same thing as "will you marry me" (and I have this ring I hope you'll like)? If it's very early in a relationship could it just mean the other person is serious about having a relationship with you?
Is a suggestion of flying to Vegas and just "doing it" a way of testing the waters and seeing how the other person might feel about the idea of someday getting married? Or is it an actual question ...?
Have you ever found yourself in the position of having just said something that could sound like an offer of a lifetime together when you're not sure if you really mean quite all of that?
Or if you've ever been the one doing the asking, how did you do it?
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Soul Food
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184 Views
03/04/09
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I asked someone in a conversation last night what feeds his soul and got a really great answer in response.¿ It made me smile, and think ... and wonder what other people might say to the same question.
I know for me, a few of the things that fill me up include art that really moves me, and a great book that is so succelent that I start reading really slowly as I'm almost finished with it because I don't want it to end.
I love the way it feels to be in an airplane, especially during take-off.¿ Or time with people I love - dinner with my brother last night or a conversation last week with my nephew, who wanted to tell me all the things he was doing. That's when my heart is really full.
What does it for you?
¿
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Worth Repeating
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157 Views
12/05/08
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What does 'Love' mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissie - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mummy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mummy loves me more than anybody because you don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day'
Mary Ann - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'.
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Confession
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114 Views
10/25/08
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A boy goes into the confessional and says, 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, Is that you, Joey Pagano ?
'Yes, Father, it is.'
And who was the girl you were with?
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti? ... 'I cannot say.'
Was it Teresa Mazzarelli? ... 'I'll never tell.'
Was it Nina Capelli? ... 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
Was it Cathy Piriano? ... 'My lips are sealed.'
Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then? ... 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and sin no more.
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
Four months vacation and five good leads.
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Getting to know you questions
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246 Views
09/15/08
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OK ... so it was pointed out to me that I'm not all that good at asking the 'getting to know someone' kinds of questions. Can anyone help? What are some really good questions you ask or have been asked before?
Hmmmm ... or maybe even what's the worst first chat/e-mail question you've ever heard? LOL Now, that could be interesting ...
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Scammers - How to spot them
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227 Views
08/29/08
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I was thinking about Wendy's Blog and my own experience with scammers. I know I have a few ideas about how to spot them, but I could definitely use more ... and maybe it would help all of us if we listed the red flags. Mine are:
1. won't chat on LF and insists on another chat location
2. tells you he loves you, wants to marry you, build his dreams around you etc. after a few chats
3. wants to talk/chat at length every day (no one has that much time, unless their 'job' is scamming)
4. wants you to delete your profile and get off LF because you've finally found each other (before you've ever met in person)
5. works on an offshore oil rig
6. no answer at the phone number he gave you (or excuses about bad reception because he works on an oil rig)
7. cell phone numbers registered out of South Carolina (not all of them of course, but it seems to be a trend)
8. calls that come through an international router number
9. all the compliments and declarations of falling in love begin to sound emotionally manipulative (because they are)
10. widowed AND orphaned (has no family at all except a child)... has a child who lives with a distant relative in another country (because they work such long hours or whatever)
11. gets angry when you don't respond they way they want
12. request for money ('nuff said)
Frankly, 2, 4-6, 8,10 and 12 aren't just red flags ... they're deal breakers.
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Past Lives
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116 Views
09/15/08
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Have you ever met someone and had the feeling that you've known them before or were hit with an overwhelming sense of significance in your meeting? As if you must have known them in a past life or were somehow destined to meet in this life?
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Petition to the Administration
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458 Views
07/26/08
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Let's try a little experiment and see if it works ... all those in favor of LF granting a free one-week membership to Ariesram, please respond with a 'quality' comment here.
By my count, he has written blogs with more than 10 responses and has certainly generated a lot of activity on the blogs, which was obviously the idea behind offering a free week in the first place.
All in favor, say aye!
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What I Like About Men
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431 Views
07/28/08
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... and speaking of being embarrassed to be in the same gender, I was really upset by a recent blog that gave a huge list of undesirable qualities in men. In fact, it brought me to tears.
I like men. I always have.
I like ...
1.The way men compliment us and make us feel wanted and beautiful
2.How accepting men are of us and even find some of our faults endearing
3.Being held while I fall asleep at night and feeling safe
4.How sexy men are
5.The way men look, walk, taste and smell, with or without cologne
6.Their energy, intelligence and humor
7.How men are caring and kind in ways that are entirely different from women
8.The way they will open doors, reach high places, and lift heavy stuff
9.The way they will check our tires or brush the snow off our car before they do their own and leave for work
10.The way they will offer strong arms and broad shoulders to comfort and protect us, and if they can?t think of anything else to do they may even offer to beat people up on our behalf (I am not saying I take them up on the offer, though)
11.The way it is ok to swear or burp in front of them
12.The sounds they make when their testosterone is surging
13.The way a man can turn me on with a look or just by walking across the room
14.How hard men work to get past our defenses
15.How much courage men have
16.When a man asked how your day was he probably really wants to know
17.The little boy still left inside men
18.How often they think of us throughout the day
19.How willing men are to make love when we ask
20.How good it feels to lay down and feel the weight of a man pressing me into the mattress and know that it?s right (when it is) to be there with him
21.Being kissed until I wake up in the morning
22.How fun men are to be with
23.How patient they are
24.How they do know us and see us in ways we don?t know about and make room for what we need without ever telling us
25.Their muscles and the beautiful lines, hills and valleys of their bodies
26.The way a goatee will frame a mans lips so they beg to be kissed or a mustache or beard can be used for pleasure
27.The way men offer to go out in the rain or snow or park the car or drive when we are tired, even if they are too, all to take care of us
28.The way men brag about us to their friends
29.How much they miss us when we?re apart
30.The way men will not bring up old arguments after they are done
31.The way they drop everything to help a friend or stranger
32.The way men refrain talk trash about their friend behind their backs
33.The way they move mountains to be with us or face dragons or walk through fires we don?t even know about, all for our sake
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