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Why does distance have to be such a major problem? Sort by:
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Natasha_Simone
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Posted on Wed, Apr 14, 2010 12:21

I don't see what the big problem is if I live thousands of miles away, I have a visa and I really love to travel so that is not a big problem to me. They tend to say, "I love your profile but you are so far away!" Hello!, I'm only a flight away aren't I?


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Posted on Thu, Apr 29, 2010 15:07

Life ties us down where we are sometimes...that's all I can say about that.  I'm helping to take care of my mother right now and I'm an important part of her wellbeing, I'd rather not go galavanting off to see someone out of the blue.  If I knew the person well enough, I am sure that I would go, as long as my mom was taken care of...I'd drive though.  Planes are getting more and more annoying by the day! 40 bucks for a carry on?  That's LUDICRIS!  BOYCOT the stupid airlines!! HA HA HA!



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islandgal64
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Posted on Fri, Apr 23, 2010 00:39

Hope we haven't scared you off Natasha!


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Natasha_Simone
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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 08:17

Thank you all for your comments, I never looked at it the way all of you did, it really opened my eyes to a lot of things, especially what butterbll said. I guess it will get tedious at times, especially when you want to wake up and see that special person beside you every morning and go to sleep arms in arms at nights. The longing for that passionate kiss and tender touch that you might want to share with that person (if all goes well). Thanks to all of you, I hope I'll find my special someone some day.


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Heart_of_Green
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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 14:34

I never used to think of them as problematic - but I do after having tried them!

Im looking for someone to do things with - an activity partner if you will.  Someone to have adventures with, travel with, see things do things, argue with Im sure!  With someone a long way away you cant really do any of those things.  Or if you try to its all rushed in a 3 day visit once every month or so.

I have also come to the thought that its not really real life.  Now that might seem a little odd and Im sure others would disagree with me but you are building up emotions and experiences together purely based on what you talk about over the phone or the internet and nothing involving joint experiences, emotions etc...

Now I know that others will feel differently but they are just my view.

I do have a difficulty however with people who I tell 'thank you but we are too far away from each' continuing to message me to tell me Im wrong and who keep trying.  I am very polite for a few messages but almost have to be pointy and rude at times for them to 'please stop!'.  It makes me wonder why ' no thank you' is no longer good enough LOL

Either way - we all know what works for ourselves and long may it be so!



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ltcheerios
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Posted on Sun, Apr 18, 2010 04:28

Thanks for being so honest. I really like you! I totally agree about what you are saying. long-distance relation is no picnic, but it also can work out! :)


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ltcheerios
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Posted on Sun, Apr 18, 2010 04:22

yes you are only a flight away. It is great to think that you are so cool & confident! I like that.


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butterbll
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Posted on Fri, Apr 16, 2010 20:33

As some one who has has a few LDR's I've got to say as a rule of thumb they dont work 98% of the time. I've been a few,The Shortest one was only 60 miles away and the longest one was 2500 away. There are things that reinforce a relationship that you can not get in a Email,Snail letter, or call. Some times you got to see them just breathing at night besides you , or the way wind blows their hair, or the warm smile they get when you remember to get their favorite cookie or dessert.I have to agree with Elaine some of us have Obligations of family that we cant just at a whim go willy nilly hopping on a plane or train for a long trip to see a potential partner. Besides If a potential partner was like fruit you'de want them to be close to you to be fresh and available when you need them.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Fri, Apr 16, 2010 06:15

Let's face it. We are all capable of carrying on phone conversations... some I know even like to dally with what I call "phonerbating" once they get to know each other.. but nothing and I mean nothing can replace the true intimacy that is required for many (i.e. me) to feel comfortable, secure and safe in a relationship. Too many of us have had a LD relationship only to find out the guy/girl is a phony, a cheat, not serious or simply frightening. Sure we can have chemistry over the phone, but that doesn't account for how we feel face to face. Like many others out there, I am a single mother and if it weren't for a slim financial bottom line, I would have traveled the states to follow a certain fellow around, but fortunately (or) unfortunately, I live in a reality where I need to get to know someone on a personal level, before inviting them to live with me, or vice-verse. I know this is hardly common practice anymore, but I am an old fashioned gal.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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awhite227
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Posted on Thu, Apr 15, 2010 21:35

I find it difficult to build a relationship with someone when they are far away and I can't frequently spend time with them. It's hard to be involved with the ins and outs of each others lives at a distance. Traveling is fine, but I find it hard to build a relationship with someone I can only see when they have the time to, and can afford to, fly to where I am. I don't have the luxury of being able to frequently hop on a plane and fly somewhere. So a long distance relationship isn't realistic for me.


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islandgal64
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Posted on Thu, Apr 15, 2010 10:25

I think everyone will have their personal preference when it comes to distance. I know of a few couples here that have made it work and all credit to them, but I would not entertain getting "involved" with someone I "met" online who was even at the opposite end of this country let alone in a different one! There are several rasons for this for me .... and I respect that others may feel differently. But i guess the distance has to be ok with both parties to have any chance of being successful longer term. So for me ... - I do not feel I really know someone until we have met a good number of times face to face - I ultimately want a real relationship with someone I can see regularly, not a distant penpal with lots of hassle coordinating times/places and all the other logistical stuff - I like to be spontaneous at times - can't always just hop on a ferry/train/plane for a night out - I don't have an unlimited amount of free time of an endless pot of money to support lots of travel to distant parts I daresay if I was to meet someone who was for example on holiday or on business and we really clicked I might want to alter my view and find a way to make it work but I certainly wouldn't bother actively seeking to make things more difficult!


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Babycakes63
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Posted on Wed, Apr 14, 2010 20:23

Well Natasha, my problem is I am a single mother... That means that even though I am financially stable, I do not have tons of money to blow on air fare and babysitting fees and still have money to pay for food, mortgage and bills. I am also an independent contractor and although I can go for as many days as I want to...I will not get paid for those days off. I realize that I can only speak for myself, but thats why I have a problem with it. Elaine


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