As it is common in New Mexico, it is a beautiful morning. It feels neither hot nor cold; there is a wonderful warmness all around. The sun is shining with all its radiance, and the breeze is calmly letting its presence be felt. It is a morning where a person?s soul can be replenished, and where the mind can fill itself with hopes and dreams. A morning where it seems next to nothing could go wrong. On a day like this it is hard to be upset or gloomy, yet Lizette has managed it.
Lizette is a beautiful young woman that usually is very happy and content with life. She is a divorced mother of three, a full time social work major, a loving daughter and is always willing to help a friend in need. Lizette not only possesses the gift of being beautiful on the outside, but she has the general warmness of a greater inner beauty. Lizette always has a smile ready for any situation, but today that famous smile is nowhere to be seen.
Today Lizette is reminiscing in the past. Today Lizette finds herself thinking about her ex-husband. She thinks of how easy it was to confuse feelings of fondness with true love. She also thinks of how easily this feeling of fondness ceased to exist. Lizette understands that this is why she is divorced. Her feelings of fondness were lost in the monotony of thirteen long years.
She has come away from the man that was her husband, the man that was supposed to be there thru thick and thin, with a hurt heart. Even though she carries this pain, she still has her mind full of dreams and hopes of prospering in other aspects of her life. She believes that she was not made to fall in love, and she doubts that a true love will ever find its way into her heart. Lizette is comfortable with this idea and most of the time it doesn?t bother her. She just lives her life on a day-to-day basis and thanks God for the blessings she has.
Lizette is aware of the wonderful gift that she has obtained from the farce of her marriage. She has received the joy of be...
A quick blog entry to tell everyone hello, I hope everyone has a great holiday season and if I don't get on before then I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas in company of everyone they love!!
Big Hug for all
I don't want to generalize but I believe all BBW although confident and happy sometimes feel the need to do something about their weight and health.
Well I am one of these BBW and I was thinking of starting a Herbalife regimen.
I have heard wonders about the weight loss program and was wondering if anyone has used these products and what effects they have had with them.
Please all the info I can get will help.
Thanks a bunch :)
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other sh*t too.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.
Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny b*tch to find me.
Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
I hate that b*tch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little sh*t) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What ' s yours?"
"I ' ll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I ' ll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the w aitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That ' s brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you ' ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That ' s right. Whether it ' s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man..
The waitress asks, "What ' s with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Like I said it's been a long time since I've been here. I miss reading everything my friends from LF have posted and meeting new friends to share experiences with.
Let me start by sharing a little myself.
I'm still in school, graduating in May and going on for my Masters. I have been working all summer providing services for teen mothers and now that school has started again, well trying to prevent teen pregnancies.
I have been having issues of my own with my teen daughter and trying to give her space to be an individual without losing her to everything that is out there.
My other kids are doing good, sports and school keep them and me going.
I am still with my "Bull". We're going on 5 years and yes, we did meet on LF!!!!! :)
Although I am sad because he started trucking and it's hard to be without him!! It's hard to have him home and have to see him go!!
But how the economy is doing he really couldn't find anything that would pay the bills while I'm in school, so he decided to become a truck driver.
Well this is sort of what has been going on with me, how about everyone else?
Amuseme if you read this holler back I've missed reading you!! You could always make me smile!!
I've been out for a while, going crazy with this Social Work program, they have me stuydying like crazy, so I haven't been able to get on and comment on anyone's posting or post anything myself :(
I miss reading everyone and I just wanted to pop in and tell everyone HI!!
I hope everone of my old LF buddies are doing great and I'd like to give a warm welcome to all the new members
Take care and remember ALWAYS smile!!
I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU?
Fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a
show in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb
blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts
shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you
think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a
person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like
you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the
community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you
and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only
blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this, mister!"
The Five Minute Management Course
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. "
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes ...
Pirate in a Bar
A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg,
a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said,
"Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like
to buy you a drink." The pirate came over and ordered rum.
"Just out of curiosity," the man said, "how did you lose your leg?"
"Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard
for stealing a man's rum."
"That's just terrible. How did you lose your hand?" the man said.
"Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals off
Madagascar under Admiral Hawk."
"Oh my!" the man said, "I can't even imagine!
How did you lose your eye?"
"Arrrgh! A seagull pooped in it!" said the pirate.
"A seagull!" the man exclaimed. "Is seagull poop dangerous?!"
he asked. "Nay, matey, it was me first day with the hook..."
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," ! and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
! "NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde! , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother?s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
Hi there everyone, before reading this I just want to state that I do not mean to offend anyone, it's all in good fun! So smile :)
A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
"My car broke down, Officer", says the woman, calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" asks the Officer
"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.
THE HUSBAND STORE.
A store that sells husbands has just opened up in New
York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates. You may visit
the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men
increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is,
however, a catch: you may choose any man from a
particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exit the
So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a
husband. On the first floor the sign on the door
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and are religious.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, are religious and love
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, are religious, love
kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow", she thinks, but feel compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, are religious, love
kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, are reigious, love
kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework
and have a strong romantic streak.
She is tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth
floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch
your step as you exit the building, and have a nice
During the time that I have been visiting our LargeFriends page, I have made many "online friends" and at the moment I miss reading anything from SeekingFriends. Does anyone know anything about her? I hope she is ok.
Take care all
Once you have opened this e-mail, there's no turning back. Below are
true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35
years ago by an astrologist predictions. Read your sign, then forward
it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line, This is
real deal, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is
having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets
worse from there.
VIRGO - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants
the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything
you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck
if you do not forward.
SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of
humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they
want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not
LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun
and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever
meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with .. u might
end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
ARIES - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent
kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16
years of bad luck if you do not forward.
AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in
long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will
exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights
out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward
GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know
where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.
Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.
Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST
IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward
LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have
fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable.
Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in
long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find.
Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CANCER - The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very
romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative.
Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling
stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes
down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you
do not forward.
PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last
word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around.Extremely weird but
in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he
or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5
years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.
Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do
TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good
fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in
times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring
person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive
people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being
in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with.
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is
one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most
caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!!
Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4
years of bad luck if you do not forward.
Live simply, love generously, care deeply and speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet , with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; Growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day. Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
Three guys are having a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid -- who begs to be set free, in return for granting each of them a wish.
One of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says, "Okay, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done."
Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly, and analyzing what he's recited with great insight.
The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, "Triple my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done."
The guy starts to spout solutions to problems that have been stumping all the great scientists of the world: the mathematicians, physicists, chemists, and so on.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my I.Q."
The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really think you should reconsider."
The guy says, "Nope, I want you to multiply my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please," the mermaid says, "you don't know what you're asking! It'll change your entire view on the universe. Won't you ask for something else, a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the mermaid says, the guy insists on having
his I.Q. increased to five times its usual power. Finally, the mermaid sighs and says, "Done." And he turns into a woman.
Words Women Use:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only
five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the
game before helping around the house.
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should
be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing (refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).
6.) That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.
That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how
and when you will pay for your mistake.
A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're
Is a woman's way of saying _ _ _ _ YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has
told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will
later result in a man asking, "what's wrong." For the woman's response,
refer to # 3.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but
while we're here we should dance....