Who are they? They're the people with no photo on their profile.
It took me a lot of soul-searching to decide to go on a dating site. I've heard & read all the comments about internet dating being for losers, desperados, people with no social skills & so on. There may well be some people like that, but here's a newsflash - there may be some people like that in a pub, club, party, class, where you work, in fact anywhere that you could meet other people, so why should the internet be any different? It's still about people, & we come in all shapes & sizes. I'm not a loser or desperado & my social skills haven't been found wanting so far - I'm just someone who's had some failed relationships, has been hurt by some more than others, but who has recovered enough to know I want to be part of a relationship again. A lot of us, most of us, feel the same way. I see little point in hiding what I look like - it's not like I'm going to look radically different if/when we meet, is it? My photo makes it very clear that I'm not blonde, & my profile lets people know they won't be getting a size 8 model on their arm, & laying out some money allows me to upload several photos showing me in varying states of embarrassment if I wish. So I honestly don't see the big deal about it.
Maybe I'm missing a trick here, but I thought the point of being a member was to meet someone you're compatible with, with both of you getting what you want out of the relationship. I've looked through several profiles over the last few hours, & I've found loads of people who've been members for ages but who either still haven't paid for a subscription or haven't uploaded a photo or both. In addition, some have hardly put any info in their profiles. So are they saying that they expect other people to find them interesting enough to contact on the basis of a few scant details & no photo, & to top it off they're also not prepared to lay out any cash for them to be able to contact you. You've got to do all the running to get them. It doesn't really sound appealing, does it? If someone approached you in a pub & you answered every question with "I'm not telling you", how long do you think they'd hang around? :)
I'm me, & I'll still be me for a long time after someone's looked at my profile. I genuinely don't see the point of joining & then not making the most of the services available from the site. Yet some people seem to sign up then expect you to in effect chase them. Well, if that tactic hasn't worked for them in life so far, why would it work on the internet? What's wrong with them investing some money in THEIR future? Why should it all be one-sided? If we're going to do this, isn't this the time when we should be investing in ourselves? I know it's a risk, but aren't all things involving our hearts a risk?
I wasn't expecting to find the love of my life so quickly, but neither was I expecting to find so many people apparently lethargic about getting a relationship that could be meaningful, whether that be friendship or something more long-term/committed. It's really deflating to see it. Not paying for a membership that allows you to be more proactive when you've been registered for ages is one thing, but not even uploading a photo? I've never met a guy yet who didn't have a photo of themselves, but to look at some of the profiles here, there are obviously loads of them I've missed! And what gets me as well is that some of these people are quick to tell you that they just something casual & non-commital (I've actually seen the words "up for a quick rogering" in someone's requirements of a woman, I kid you not), yet they don't want us to see what they look like! I know it shouldn't be all about the face, but if we can decide the sort of bodies we're attracted to, why not faces too? :)
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The mystery of the grey people.
Who are they? They're the people with no photo on their profile.
It took me a lot of soul-searching to decide to go on a dating site. I've heard & read all the comments about internet dating being for losers, desperados, people with no social skills & so on. There may well be some people like that, but here's a newsflash - there may be some people like that in a pub, club, party, class, where you work, in fact anywhere that you could meet other people, so why should the internet be any different? It's still about people, & we come in all shapes & sizes. I'm not a loser or desperado & my social skills haven't been found wanting so far - I'm just someone who's had some failed relationships, has been hurt by some more than others, but who has recovered enough to know I want to be part of a relationship again. A lot of us, most of us, feel the same way. I see little point in hiding what I look like - it's not like I'm going to look radically different if/when we meet, is it? My photo makes it very clear that I'm not blonde, & my profile lets people know they won't be getting a size 8 model on their arm, & laying out some money allows me to upload several photos showing me in varying states of embarrassment if I wish. So I honestly don't see the big deal about it.
Maybe I'm missing a trick here, but I thought the point of being a member was to meet someone you're compatible with, with both of you getting what you want out of the relationship. I've looked through several profiles over the last few hours, & I've found loads of people who've been members for ages but who either still haven't paid for a subscription or haven't uploaded a photo or both. In addition, some have hardly put any info in their profiles. So are they saying that they expect other people to find them interesting enough to contact on the basis of a few scant details & no photo, & to top it off they're also not prepared to lay out any cash for them to be able to contact you. You've got to do all the running to get them. It doesn't really sound appealing, does it? If someone approached you in a pub & you answered every question with "I'm not telling you", how long do you think they'd hang around? :)
I'm me, & I'll still be me for a long time after someone's looked at my profile. I genuinely don't see the point of joining & then not making the most of the services available from the site. Yet some people seem to sign up then expect you to in effect chase them. Well, if that tactic hasn't worked for them in life so far, why would it work on the internet? What's wrong with them investing some money in THEIR future? Why should it all be one-sided? If we're going to do this, isn't this the time when we should be investing in ourselves? I know it's a risk, but aren't all things involving our hearts a risk?
I wasn't expecting to find the love of my life so quickly, but neither was I expecting to find so many people apparently lethargic about getting a relationship that could be meaningful, whether that be friendship or something more long-term/committed. It's really deflating to see it. Not paying for a membership that allows you to be more proactive when you've been registered for ages is one thing, but not even uploading a photo? I've never met a guy yet who didn't have a photo of themselves, but to look at some of the profiles here, there are obviously loads of them I've missed! And what gets me as well is that some of these people are quick to tell you that they just something casual & non-commital (I've actually seen the words "up for a quick rogering" in someone's requirements of a woman, I kid you not), yet they don't want us to see what they look like! I know it shouldn't be all about the face, but if we can decide the sort of bodies we're attracted to, why not faces too? :)
Feel free to use "famine resistant" all you want. I won't even charge you a royalty!
And thank you for the compliment on the profile (and photo). I know it goes against the common theme from some members (*cough* petale46 *cough*), but there does exist the occasional guy that makes an effort to be a gentleman.
(JK petale... :-p)
Feel free to use "famine resistant" all you want. I won't even charge you a royalty!
And thank you for the compliment on the profile (and photo). I know it goes against the common theme from some members (*cough* petale46 *cough*), but there does exist the occasional guy that makes an effort to be a gentleman.
Ozred ¿ I agree with you.¿ I have no problems if someone states that they are looking for sex and just that... But make me want it.¿ For God sakes I need more then "I want to rock your boat" to be turned on into this type of affair. ¿ It's like everything... if you really want something, you do things so that it happens.¿ Makes you wonder if those people only want sex as they say. ¿ For me it's also about lazyness.¿ If someone is too lazy to put the effort in writing a profile that incite me to communicate with him, then he'll be just as lazy in bed, for house chores, for anything basically.¿ It's not rocket science and doesn't require days of work.¿ Just a little thinking.¿
Ozred ¿ I agree with you.¿ I have no problems if someone states that they are looking for sex and just that... But make me want it.¿ For God sakes I need more then "I want to rock your boat" to be turned on into this type of affair. ¿ It's like everything... if you really want something, you do things so that it happens.¿ Makes you wonder if those people only want sex as they say. ¿ For me it's also about lazyness.¿ If someone is too lazy to put the effort in writing a profile that incite me to communicate with him, then he'll be just as lazy in bed, for house chores, for anything basically.¿ It's not rocket science and doesn't require days of work.¿ Just a little thinking.¿
Yes agree with you here,¿the profiles that are asking for a just a bit of fun hanky panky, yet fail to describe or show what you are getting, is like taking a lucky dip prize.....never know what you may end up with. ¿ I dont have a problem with someone stating what they are after, respect it actually, but talk about lack of marketing. LOL If I was selling that, I would make a concerted effort to make you drool.¿ LOL¿ ¿ If they are not willing to put in the effort in at that level, well I do have to wonder how much effort they will put in at any stage. LOL
Quoting: Originally posted by MsHopeful Hi True, I understand what you're saying, & your case & ones like yours isn't the sort that left me puzzled. There are lots of people who've done great profiles, & even if I'm not what they're looking for they've encouraged me & have helped me learn more about other people's experiences & expectations. I thank them & you for that. :) It's the people who don't bother doing anything much other than register - next to nowt in their profile, no photo, nothing, those are the ones that have puzzled me. :)
Quoting MsHopeful:
Hi True, I understand what you're saying, & your case & ones like yours isn't the sort that left me puzzled. There are lots of people who've done great profiles, & even if I'm not what they're looking for they've encouraged me & have helped me learn more about other people's experiences & expectations. I thank them & you for that. :) It's the people who don't bother doing anything much other than register - next to nowt in their profile, no photo, nothing, those are the ones that have puzzled me. :)
Yes agree with you here,¿the profiles that are asking for a just a bit of fun hanky panky, yet fail to describe or show what you are getting, is like taking a lucky dip prize.....never know what you may end up with. ¿ I dont have a problem with someone stating what they are after, respect it actually, but talk about lack of marketing. LOL If I was selling that, I would make a concerted effort to make you drool.¿ LOL¿ ¿ If they are not willing to put in the effort in at that level, well I do have to wonder how much effort they will put in at any stage. LOL
Hi, Fulcrum, & I liked your profile & photo too. :). It does indeed make me wonder why people join in the first place, not wonder in a nasty way, just wonder. I don't for one second think everyone here's looking for marriage & nothing less, & neither do I think everyone except me is looking for a quick fling. I'm self-conscious about my appearance too, a lot of us are, but I can't let that get in the way of my life moving on, otherwise I'll be the hermit I was when my relationship first ended & I definitely don't want to go back to that, surrounded by chocolate wrappers with all the soaps lined up on Sky+, lol. ¿ Maybe I'm actually more courageous than I think I am - I think once we put ourselves out there & say we would like a relationship (be that just new friends or more than that), we have to also accept that other people may say "No thanks". Being rejected at some level (be it for looks, dancing with two left feet or whatever) is something we have to realise could happen, & it's a risk we have to take if we want our lives to be something approaching what we'd like them to be. There's been criticism on other blogs of people not being honest either in their profiles or when they meet, but don't we have to be honest with ourselves before we can be honest with other people? :) No photo but lots in a profile is great, a photo but an admission that their profile doesn't have much info because they don't know what to say is fine too. But no contribution from them other than to register? Whatever it is people are looking for, I don't see how they can get it when they don't give other people something to work with, something that makes them think it's worth even posting a comment never mind contacting them.¿Is someone really going to be inspired to make contact just because someone says they're 5'10" & they don't mind anyone over 5ft tall, lol? ¿ I've already realised that my natural gobbiness & my love of writing have probably helped me deal with things that other people may find very difficult, so I don't want this blog to appear as if I'm slating everything & everyone here when I've barely been here 5 minutes myself, because I'm honestly not. I'm a "Why?" & "Have you noticed?" person (Eddie Izzard/Peter Kay MkII) so I can't help questioning things, but I'm sure I'll get as much out of this site as I put into it, so I'll stop my wittering & get some breakfast now, lol. ¿ I love the phrase "famine resistant", by the way. I may start using that - do you think there's a chance of a Lottery grant, lol? :)
Hi, Fulcrum, & I liked your profile & photo too. :). It does indeed make me wonder why people join in the first place, not wonder in a nasty way, just wonder. I don't for one second think everyone here's looking for marriage & nothing less, & neither do I think everyone except me is looking for a quick fling. I'm self-conscious about my appearance too, a lot of us are, but I can't let that get in the way of my life moving on, otherwise I'll be the hermit I was when my relationship first ended & I definitely don't want to go back to that, surrounded by chocolate wrappers with all the soaps lined up on Sky+, lol. ¿ Maybe I'm actually more courageous than I think I am - I think once we put ourselves out there & say we would like a relationship (be that just new friends or more than that), we have to also accept that other people may say "No thanks". Being rejected at some level (be it for looks, dancing with two left feet or whatever) is something we have to realise could happen, & it's a risk we have to take if we want our lives to be something approaching what we'd like them to be. There's been criticism on other blogs of people not being honest either in their profiles or when they meet, but don't we have to be honest with ourselves before we can be honest with other people? :) No photo but lots in a profile is great, a photo but an admission that their profile doesn't have much info because they don't know what to say is fine too. But no contribution from them other than to register? Whatever it is people are looking for, I don't see how they can get it when they don't give other people something to work with, something that makes them think it's worth even posting a comment never mind contacting them.¿Is someone really going to be inspired to make contact just because someone says they're 5'10" & they don't mind anyone over 5ft tall, lol? ¿ I've already realised that my natural gobbiness & my love of writing have probably helped me deal with things that other people may find very difficult, so I don't want this blog to appear as if I'm slating everything & everyone here when I've barely been here 5 minutes myself, because I'm honestly not. I'm a "Why?" & "Have you noticed?" person (Eddie Izzard/Peter Kay MkII) so I can't help questioning things, but I'm sure I'll get as much out of this site as I put into it, so I'll stop my wittering & get some breakfast now, lol. ¿ I love the phrase "famine resistant", by the way. I may start using that - do you think there's a chance of a Lottery grant, lol? :)
Hi True, I understand what you're saying, & your case & ones like yours isn't the sort that left me puzzled. There are lots of people who've done great profiles, & even if I'm not what they're looking for they've encouraged me & have helped me learn more about other people's experiences & expectations. I thank them & you for that. :) It's the people who don't bother doing anything much other than register - next to nowt in their profile, no photo, nothing, those are the ones that have puzzled me. :)
Hi True, I understand what you're saying, & your case & ones like yours isn't the sort that left me puzzled. There are lots of people who've done great profiles, & even if I'm not what they're looking for they've encouraged me & have helped me learn more about other people's experiences & expectations. I thank them & you for that. :) It's the people who don't bother doing anything much other than register - next to nowt in their profile, no photo, nothing, those are the ones that have puzzled me. :)
There are lots of people on here that have taken a lot of time to prepare their profiles and have posted very "true-to-life" pictures--such as myself. I haven't joined as a full member because I haven't met more than one or two people with whom I'd be prepared to go any further than a few emails.
I have found that posting comments on people's profiles is a good way to get into contact with someone, and if there is a connection, you can post in the blogs. Also, posting a blog that gets ten or more "quality comments" will get you a week free! Some of us use that week VERY wisely. :)
I'm a cautious kind of gal, I don't like to pay for something that will likely fail. Internet dating is NOT any more successful than traditional meet and greet.
Maybe this answers your questions, maybe not. But at least you know why ONE of is hasn't "invested". Good luck to you on your search!--True
There are lots of people on here that have taken a lot of time to prepare their profiles and have posted very "true-to-life" pictures--such as myself. I haven't joined as a full member because I haven't met more than one or two people with whom I'd be prepared to go any further than a few emails.
I have found that posting comments on people's profiles is a good way to get into contact with someone, and if there is a connection, you can post in the blogs. Also, posting a blog that gets ten or more "quality comments" will get you a week free! Some of us use that week VERY wisely. :)
I'm a cautious kind of gal, I don't like to pay for something that will likely fail. Internet dating is NOT any more successful than traditional meet and greet.
Maybe this answers your questions, maybe not. But at least you know why ONE of is hasn't "invested". Good luck to you on your search!--True
You were kind enough to add a comment to my blog; let me return the favour.
I guess it all comes down to the real reason people visit this site in the first place. Are they simply the curious to see what kind of people exist on this site? Are they the trollers, believing they will find the easy score? Are they the skeptical, believing this to be a marketing scam? Or are they genuinely interested, hoping to make a connection?
Which am I? I'm not sure. I just joined this site, but I did put some effort into my profile (not a ton, but some). And it isn't a question of having a photo, but rather having a photo that you don't mind sharing with the world. A site dedicated to the "nutritionally endowed" or "famine resistant" (as I like to describe myself sometimes), it may be that many are self conscious about their appearance, and don't like the way they look in pictures. I know that I have many pictures of myself, but few are ones that I like.
You were kind enough to add a comment to my blog; let me return the favour.
I guess it all comes down to the real reason people visit this site in the first place. Are they simply the curious to see what kind of people exist on this site? Are they the trollers, believing they will find the easy score? Are they the skeptical, believing this to be a marketing scam? Or are they genuinely interested, hoping to make a connection?
Which am I? I'm not sure. I just joined this site, but I did put some effort into my profile (not a ton, but some). And it isn't a question of having a photo, but rather having a photo that you don't mind sharing with the world. A site dedicated to the "nutritionally endowed" or "famine resistant" (as I like to describe myself sometimes), it may be that many are self conscious about their appearance, and don't like the way they look in pictures. I know that I have many pictures of myself, but few are ones that I like.
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