What is the normal action/thoughts when contact with a member suddenly ceases? I've had a couple email conversations with people that just stopped. I personally would appreciate knowing the person has become involved in a relationship with someone else, or for whatever reason thinks it would not work out with me rather than just silence. I'm not trying to whine, I'm new to this and really curious. What are others experiences?
What is the normal action/thoughts when contact with a member suddenly ceases? I've had a couple email conversations with people that just stopped. I personally would appreciate knowing the person has become involved in a relationship with someone else, or for whatever reason thinks it would not work out with me rather than just silence. I'm not trying to whine, I'm new to this and really curious. What are others experiences?
unfortunatly i have had it happen to me many times too. i recently winked at a guy on here, for him to email me with his mobile number, he said he didnt like to talk on msn he preffered to talk on the phone. so we chatted on the phone, he spent most of the little convosation we had loudly yawning down the phone. in the end he asked me twice if i would like to talk to him again, i replyed that i would. so the folowing day i sent a quick text message saying hi hope your ok, would it be ok to call the following night?? i got no reply
i had to ask a couple of my female friends, i take it its his way of saying he isnt interested in talking to me again, to whitch they both said yes. im had the same thing with talking to men thro email and msn too, you seem to be getting on really well then all contact suddenly stops.
im always left feeling is it me?? did i say/do something wrong?? im not a bunny boiler type, i wont stalk you for being honest n just saying your just not interested in talking to me anymore. 9/10 if its thro email/msn i just send 1 quick message basicly saying i take it you no longer want to talk to me anymore, so i will now delete you off msn/my mobile. i never get a reply to that so i do i said n delete them.
it hurts more the fact that men just dont have the guts to say im not interested in chatting anymore. come on guys, we dont all bite, have the guts to say your not that into us.
shaz xx
unfortunatly i have had it happen to me many times too. i recently winked at a guy on here, for him to email me with his mobile number, he said he didnt like to talk on msn he preffered to talk on the phone. so we chatted on the phone, he spent most of the little convosation we had loudly yawning down the phone. in the end he asked me twice if i would like to talk to him again, i replyed that i would. so the folowing day i sent a quick text message saying hi hope your ok, would it be ok to call the following night?? i got no reply
i had to ask a couple of my female friends, i take it its his way of saying he isnt interested in talking to me again, to whitch they both said yes. im had the same thing with talking to men thro email and msn too, you seem to be getting on really well then all contact suddenly stops.
im always left feeling is it me?? did i say/do something wrong?? im not a bunny boiler type, i wont stalk you for being honest n just saying your just not interested in talking to me anymore. 9/10 if its thro email/msn i just send 1 quick message basicly saying i take it you no longer want to talk to me anymore, so i will now delete you off msn/my mobile. i never get a reply to that so i do i said n delete them.
it hurts more the fact that men just dont have the guts to say im not interested in chatting anymore. come on guys, we dont all bite, have the guts to say your not that into us.
I have found this is normal....people drift on to the next chat and manners go by the wayside. Try not to take it personally...just try to move on and chat with those that stay around - if you want to and if not - tell them you're just not as intersted or whatever so that you live by your own expectations.
I have found this is normal....people drift on to the next chat and manners go by the wayside. Try not to take it personally...just try to move on and chat with those that stay around - if you want to and if not - tell them you're just not as intersted or whatever so that you live by your own expectations.
Except for death or some kind of illness that renders one unable to type, there is no good reason for someone to stop contact without an explanation. The other reasons are bad, but not good excuses such as the person is in a relationship and was caught by their significant other or the person is inconsiderate.
Regardless, that person is not worth the time or attention you are giving him. You have to just move on and be glad that the relationship did not progress any further. A person who could not give you the consideration to say that he did not want to continue corresponding with you is likely the kind of person who would cause you heartache and grief further down the line. In other words, if he can't take care of a little thing like saying "it's been nice, but...", he isn't able to take care of the big things such as being reliable or trustworthy.
Count your blessings that you dodged that bullet.
Except for death or some kind of illness that renders one unable to type, there is no good reason for someone to stop contact without an explanation. The other reasons are bad, but not good excuses such as the person is in a relationship and was caught by their significant other or the person is inconsiderate.
Regardless, that person is not worth the time or attention you are giving him. You have to just move on and be glad that the relationship did not progress any further. A person who could not give you the consideration to say that he did not want to continue corresponding with you is likely the kind of person who would cause you heartache and grief further down the line. In other words, if he can't take care of a little thing like saying "it's been nice, but...", he isn't able to take care of the big things such as being reliable or trustworthy.
Prepare your rotten tomatoes because I may be one of these offenders.
When I began using online dating sites many years ago, I would get so excited about every remotely interested/interesting man who contacted me. I would invest alot of my thoughts and time on them and think "You never know, this could be the one for me!!!" and go in full force like a puppy funning across a tile floor - and eventually skid into a wall of disappointment. In part this may be due my not really dating pre-internet. Trying to make up for lost time. Having unrealistic expectations...
So, over time my enthusiasm has waned. I still try to be positive, but I have become more cautious and have made adjustments to my approach. I now see a couple chats or emails on the same level as having a conversation with a stranger at a party, post office or bus stop- it may be pleasant, but...it is a thing on it's own and may not be part of something more. Sometimes it is just an enjoyable way to spend an evening, but neither party is feeling really into the other and it fades and fizzles away. I don't always make an effort to contact the man again or he doesn't contact me and it's fine.
The only time the disappearing really bothers me is if it the contact is frequent, we have exchanged numbers and are agreed that we would like to meet. At that point I have invested some time and it is frustrating. Otherwise I think online dating is like a big cocktail party- mingle, chat with others, but don't feel like you have to go around saying goodbye to each of the people you met when it's time to go home.
Prepare your rotten tomatoes because I may be one of these offenders.
When I began using online dating sites many years ago, I would get so excited about every remotely interested/interesting man who contacted me. I would invest alot of my thoughts and time on them and think "You never know, this could be the one for me!!!" and go in full force like a puppy funning across a tile floor - and eventually skid into a wall of disappointment. In part this may be due my not really dating pre-internet. Trying to make up for lost time. Having unrealistic expectations...
So, over time my enthusiasm has waned. I still try to be positive, but I have become more cautious and have made adjustments to my approach. I now see a couple chats or emails on the same level as having a conversation with a stranger at a party, post office or bus stop- it may be pleasant, but...it is a thing on it's own and may not be part of something more. Sometimes it is just an enjoyable way to spend an evening, but neither party is feeling really into the other and it fades and fizzles away. I don't always make an effort to contact the man again or he doesn't contact me and it's fine.
The only time the disappearing really bothers me is if it the contact is frequent, we have exchanged numbers and are agreed that we would like to meet. At that point I have invested some time and it is frustrating. Otherwise I think online dating is like a big cocktail party- mingle, chat with others, but don't feel like you have to go around saying goodbye to each of the people you met when it's time to go home.
Aimee--my nickname is LJE2me, not LIE! though in lower case it probably could look like that. It is based on my initials, so it made sense to me at the time! L
Aimee--my nickname is LJE2me, not LIE! though in lower case it probably could look like that. It is based on my initials, so it made sense to me at the time! L
I think they have either decided they don't like us or they have met someone else. Personally, I think it's disrespectful to not atleast tell someone you've met another paramour. When most of the "getting to know you" bit is done online or via telephone, some find it much, MUCH easier to "break up". It's anonymous and quick-- no heartache involved--for those with no attachemnt, that is. This is a risk we all take when we decide to get to know someone primarily through an electronic venue. I have made a committment to myself that I won't get emotionally involved with anyone unless I have met them and they have passed the "gut feeling" check. My instincts are rarely wrong about someone's true intentions, so I will continue to rely on the old-fashioned way to build a romantic relationship. Tried and true...
Good luck--True
I think they have either decided they don't like us or they have met someone else. Personally, I think it's disrespectful to not atleast tell someone you've met another paramour. When most of the "getting to know you" bit is done online or via telephone, some find it much, MUCH easier to "break up". It's anonymous and quick-- no heartache involved--for those with no attachemnt, that is. This is a risk we all take when we decide to get to know someone primarily through an electronic venue. I have made a committment to myself that I won't get emotionally involved with anyone unless I have met them and they have passed the "gut feeling" check. My instincts are rarely wrong about someone's true intentions, so I will continue to rely on the old-fashioned way to build a romantic relationship. Tried and true...
That's something I have a long experience with and I've tried everything... nothing works. There are just very inconsiderate people around that just don't give a damn.
It's a reflection of society, as far as I'm concern and on how people have lost the most elementary sense of courtesy. Etiquette and proper behaviour are almost shunned now, so we shouldn't be surprise that very bad behaviour and a lack of the most elementary courtesy should appear in this anonymous environment.
My opinion is it's cowardice and it's mostly done by men who can't face women and tell them there are not interested in them.
It's the internet equivalent of having a date with you and tell you they'll call the day after and never do.
How many dates like that have you been on. Days pass and you don't understand why he didn't call. He didn't have to say he would, you didn't expect him to say he would, but he said he would... you just don't understand why he didn't.
I sometime believe there is a guy fairy who threathen them with a gun if they don't make empty promises.
Lje2me
That's something I have a long experience with and I've tried everything... nothing works. There are just very inconsiderate people around that just don't give a damn.
It's a reflection of society, as far as I'm concern and on how people have lost the most elementary sense of courtesy. Etiquette and proper behaviour are almost shunned now, so we shouldn't be surprise that very bad behaviour and a lack of the most elementary courtesy should appear in this anonymous environment.
My opinion is it's cowardice and it's mostly done by men who can't face women and tell them there are not interested in them.
It's the internet equivalent of having a date with you and tell you they'll call the day after and never do.
How many dates like that have you been on. Days pass and you don't understand why he didn't call. He didn't have to say he would, you didn't expect him to say he would, but he said he would... you just don't understand why he didn't.
I sometime believe there is a guy fairy who threathen them with a gun if they don't make empty promises.
I've had it happen, I fluff it off, it was time spent finding out. 1] If they can't find the decency to say something like " I've started to get involved with someone else, I wish you luck" Then I'll consider myself lucky to find out early.
Second, why do you have "lie 2 me" as a nickname? My first thought was you want to be lied to, which I'm sure is not true. Why such a negative nickname?
Aimee
HI Lie2me,
I've had it happen, I fluff it off, it was time spent finding out. 1] If they can't find the decency to say something like " I've started to get involved with someone else, I wish you luck" Then I'll consider myself lucky to find out early.
Second, why do you have "lie 2 me" as a nickname? My first thought was you want to be lied to, which I'm sure is not true. Why such a negative nickname?
Welcome to Large Freinds lje2me I know what you mean.I too have had the same experiances as you from a few here. You have great conversations with them. Then poof nothing. Yet you see them online chatting away. A lot of folks just are not honest about their feelings in a relationship. I feel the fear of causing a fuss is the reson that some just don't come out and say. That the attraction just is not there or that personalities just do not mesh, or that there is no common ground. So they figure it is better (for them) just to abruptly not chat, and e-mail.A small few may have had computer problems .But the number that do in Minascule compared to those who just are tring not to cause a fuss.
Welcome to Large Freinds lje2me I know what you mean.I too have had the same experiances as you from a few here. You have great conversations with them. Then poof nothing. Yet you see them online chatting away. A lot of folks just are not honest about their feelings in a relationship. I feel the fear of causing a fuss is the reson that some just don't come out and say. That the attraction just is not there or that personalities just do not mesh, or that there is no common ground. So they figure it is better (for them) just to abruptly not chat, and e-mail.A small few may have had computer problems .But the number that do in Minascule compared to those who just are tring not to cause a fuss.
