Plus size Blogs > Kissyroo06's blogs > I don't want to be BBW : (
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kissyroo06
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Posted on Sun, Oct 22, 2006 12:11

Thanks to all who have commented... Amuse Me: you rock girl! I know I do have a self esteem issue. It's not like I hate myself (inside) but i just don't feel like a gorgeous person. (This is for you to foxy :) I don't want to be skinny or even thin. My parents are both tall thick boned people. Genetically I am not ever going to look like a 'skinny minnie' or whatever. And I know that. I never have a had a body that was thin or even normal for that matter. Maybe it is because I never have known what it feels like to have a body I love. I think if I was a size 16 or 14 I would be "Crazy Happy". It's not small or anything but i would be in a size that is carried in most stores. I am not really looking at the scale (around every 3 weeks i do) but I am using old clothes as a sign I am doing good. If I felt good about me, that is all I would want. Ethanol66?? How am I supposed to feel Beautiful and sexy if I don't. I just can't. I have not dated or even gotten close to anyone on the site because of me being a little insecure. Everyone has something they are insecure about. I have never dated anyone who likes larger women so maybe I just have not experienced someone loving a larger body. But anyways. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! kissy


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ethanol66
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total posts: 1
Posted on Sun, Oct 22, 2006 01:57

Hey Some of us Really Like Larger Girls so why do you all feel so depressed about it I Think larger girls are Beautiful And Sexy and most of the time those little skinny Bi*#@es just screw you over anyway because they think they can or they r never happy inside anyway(nutcases)


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foxybbw
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Posted on Sat, Oct 21, 2006 23:27

the thing is its what is on the inside that matter you do really have to learn to love your self. you can lose as much weight as you want but at the end of the day you will still be you mags


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sat, Oct 21, 2006 22:26

Heya Kissy babe. I feel you.. I really do. Wanna know something about me? Well, I have this twin..identical. I have ALWAYS been bigger than her.. by 20lbs at least. Even as little children I was called "the fat twin" in school and among friends.. or people I thought were my friends. I grew up, stayed stoned and got pregnant at 21, got married three months later. While pregnant with this child I gained close to 80lbs. Most of it was gained in 5lb increments during my last six or seven weeks of pregnancy. When I had her I lost maybe 14lbs from her birth! ... well, lets just say that from that moment on, my ex husband decided to hound me, humiliate me and beat me because I was too fat for him. He was 6'4" and a good 275 so it's not like he wasn't fat either... but he wanted me like I was before (about an 18 pant) and I wasn't "doing it" for him. Well, anyway.. i know that it takes years to wear down a person self esteem... thusly it takes years to build it back up. But you know what? YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT BABE. You have to believe it, or no matter how much weight you loose or how toned your skin and muscles become, you will never love yourself like you should. People who loose weight drastically, without working on who they are inside first, almost always gain it back, because when they look at themselves in the mirror, they see that same, fat ugly person in front of them that they hated looking at BEFORE the weight loss. I know, I did it once or twice before. I didn't see an improvement on a 60lb weight loss, and gained it all back within 6 months. You have to be healthy in your heart, mind and spirit first babe. Because you will not accept yourslef for who you are otherwise. Moving on, I would like to say that I DO APPLAUD YOU for trying to change yor lifestyle. I have learned that a good helping of bacon first thing in the morning, with a good portion of fish for lunch not only curbs my appetite for dinner, but gives me so much energy during the day that I hardly need coffee in the mornings anymore! lol.. plus, with about a three mile walk/jog three to four times a week and I have been able to lose approximately 2-3 lbs a week. I have lost over 100 since April of this year, and it was really a hell of a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Once I started to love myself, the pounds just ... went! But that's because I started caring about myself and started caring about what I ate. The protien in the morning and afternoons helps with speeding up your metabolism! ... trust me on this one! Okay.. just to be fair because I know some of the people reading this are going "yeah, right" i am posting a picture of myself on my profile because this thread wont allow me to post a pic here. Please take a minute and look at my album, I am POSITIVE you will notice it. It was taken in November of 2005. It was one of the last pictures I allowed taken of me until about two months ago. To tell you the truth, I don't even recognize myself in that picture. Listen girly. Hang in there, learn to look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are.. because if you don't think so, what does it matter if anyone else does?? Learn your self worth, sweety. Your life has more meaning than you are allowing it. With much love and support ~J


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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