Many of us have listed items on our profiles that let the reader know what we DO NOT WANT and what we DESIRE in a mate. And from many of the posts and blogs that I have read on this site, it seems that many of us are sticking to our guns and, (for use of a better phrase)--"not settling".
I met someone here who has a characteristic that I did not list as a "no-no" on my profile, but in the past, I had ALWAYS considered it to be a definite "flaw". I was so turned off by this characteristic, that in the past I would look for this "no-no" whenever I met a man. If he had this "no-no", he NEVER got more than friendly conversation out of me. (And he only got that much from me because I did not want to offend him). I have actually rejected men who were otherwise very attractive to me, but immediately became undesirable and quite repulsive to me when I saw that they had this "flaw".
The man that I met here, who I am madly and passionately in love with, has this characteristic and it doesn't even bother me. In fact, when I first met him, I did not even look for it. When I finally noticed that he had it, I disregarded it and did not pay much attention to it.
I am truly grateful that I did not meet him in the "traditional" way and got to know him via IM and the phone first. Had I seen him before I met him, I would have let my "prejudice" get in the way and would have dismissed the love of my life.
Having said all of this, my question is: Have any of you met someone who was a "no-no" and became a "yes-yes"? Does anyone know why we have these so-called standards, many of which have nothing to do with love? If so, please share your story.
I am finally going to call my sister and get my half-brother's phone number so that I can get my father's phone number. My half-brother is the only one who really keeps in touch with my father. I guess he does not have any ill will towards him. God, I wish I could be that way towards my father. I am so afraid that when I contact my dad, he won't be glad to hear from me. I am afraid that he will be in the middle of doing something else and tell me that he'll have to call me back. And that will just kill me. I want to have a relationship with him but I am so afraid of making the first move. I don't want to be rejected or worse--put off until he has time to deal with me. That would make me feel like he is dangling me on a string: a feeling that I really hate. I can hardly type thinking about the "what if's" of the situation. And like I always do, I am "awfulizing" our phone call. I am trying to think about the worse that could happen so that I will be prepared when it does happen. (That statement there just set me back about two months worth of self analysis.)
Regardless of how scared that I am about contacting him, I have to do it now because I said it aloud and because I am "putting it down on paper" so to speak by posting it on the blog.
Father's Day will be here in a few days. While my father lives about 20 minutes away from me, I don't feel compelled to send him a card, call him or be with him on Father's Day. The only thing that I feel is sadness.
Even though I am a grown woman, with a grown child of my own, I still feel sad when I think about my father. By the time I was 7 years old, my mom and dad divorced and my dad has not really looked back since. When I was about 20 years old, I remember looking at an old photo album in which there were several pictures of me as a very young child. In many of the pictures, I was dressed up and I remember a particular group of them in which I was in a local park. Because there were so many pictures, I got the feeling that the person who took them must have really loved me alot and thought that I was special. I got kind of teary eyed and sentimental about it because I never realized that I was loved like that in my life. I never thought that anyone thought that I was a precious little child that they loved most parents love their little baby. When I asked my mother who took those pictures of me, I was shocked when she told me that my father took them. I didn't say anything to her at the time, but I was very upset when she told me. I was upset because I wondered when he stopped loving me like that. When did he decide that I was not worthy of the love that father's have for their little girls? I still wonder that to this day.