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y do blk men like bbww, but sistas get no love? Sort by:
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jaybabee
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Posted on Sun, Dec 03, 2006 17:55

Is it my imagination or is there a disparity? ALL bbw's are special and should be appreciated for the wonderfully complex creatures they are. It seems some brothers are uninformed and consider white bbw's as seemingly weaker and easier. some of us have it twisted, thinking that white bbw's are sexually starved and DUMB. It simply isn't true. that's my word.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Tue, Dec 19, 2006 09:53

Well jjiggl, I guess I never considered him the type of person that would talk that way about one race mingling with another, no matter the reasons. Maybe he did, but if he did I certainly never want to know about it. Segregation lies within. You have shed some light on this issue for me. Indeed I think at some point in our life we have all (excluding Wanda_world lol) have had something nasty to say about someone some time or another, and there you have made valid points to validate how easy it is to stereotype any class of person. I guess it comes down to a level of maturity one is blessed with. Thanks for taking the time to enlighten us :-)


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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jjiggl
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Posted on Mon, Dec 18, 2006 11:11

Nodrama, thanks for acknowledging my comment. (I was beginning to think that I was going to be left hanging. LOL!!) We all have to remember that even though many of us interact with people of other races and backgrounds, there are some things that may not be understood by someone who is of another race, culture, background or even someone of the opposite sex. And that is not a racist or sexist statement. That is just a fact. To me it is more important that people have enough respect to WANT to understand. To me it is more important that someone is willing to listen even if what they are hearing does not make sense to them. Nodrama, it is unfortunate that some black women feel passed over and slighted when they see a black man with a white woman. I wish that they would not see it as rejection because they do not know why that white woman and black man are together. That "hating" mentality seems to say that black women seem to think that black men are "one size fits all" type of men and that black women are "any black man will do" kind of women. And we all know that this is not true--(and don't we hate it when people act like they think that we are all alike?? LOL!!) As for you thinking that you will be alone for the rest of your life, just push that thought out of your head. Every time that you think it, push it out and say to yourself that you are worthy of a good man who will treat you like the queen that you are and who will love you so much that your head will be too big to fit in your house. And BELIEVE it. Think about the kind of man that you want,--the man that you MUST have,--and then ASK for it out loud. Then get yourself ready because he will be on his way. He may not come today or tomorrow, but he will come. I hope you are ready for him.


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wanda_world
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Posted on Mon, Dec 18, 2006 03:15

Thanks Jiiggl and Nodrama. Now I finally understand what the conversation was. Just be patient nodrama-when the time is right, you'll meet the right man!


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jjiggl
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Posted on Sun, Dec 17, 2006 17:57

Sorry, AmuseMe, but you misunderstood me. I did not say that you had conversations with your friends about bbww and black men dating. And of course you aren't able to recall your black friend having such conversations because if he did, you weren't going to be around. These kinds of conversations are not held with people who may be the topic of the discussion or who may be offended by the discussion. Also, I was not particularly speaking of conversations that deal with disparaging remarks made about people of another race. The topic could be about anyone or group that is not necessarily in your circle. Example: A group of women who are friends having a night out at a club and making remarks about a woman who may be skimpily dressed AND who happens to be getting a lot of male attention. I don't need to explain the comments that the group of women make between themselves about that woman. We have heard them. Even if we did not make the comment, we may snicker or make some gesture or sign that we are in agreement. Without even having to use that example, I can tell you that those kinds of conversations take place here. There are several disparaging comments posted on the LF forums and blogs about "skinny" women. I am sure that many of the negative comments that were posted here wouldn't be posted on other dating sites. They are posted on LF because the members are accepting of people who are plus-sized. The members here do not buy into the mindset that being "skinny" is beautiful. And yeah, you are right, many black women do not want to see black men with white women and are quite bold in voicing their opinion about it. It is ignorant and it is stupid. Plus it puts those women in a bad situation if they happen to come in contact with a man who is not black, but who they may be attracted to. What will the poor woman do then?


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nodramaaroundme
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Posted on Sun, Dec 17, 2006 11:16

I wish I didn't have an opinion on this but, I can understand where Amuseme is coming from. But as a Black person I know the reality in our community is more along the lines of Jiiggl. I recently had a conversation with a good friend about this. She is light skinned, tall, slim and has naturally long hair... all very preferred qualities amongst black men. And she was upset at the number of black men she was seeing with white bbw's that were so unkempt. We commented on how they would not give me the time of day (dressed nicely, etc) or her for that matter. So long story short, this conversation happens a lot in the black community, but it shouldn't. I'm attracted to white males also, but it seems they are mostly interested in the euro centric black women, which I'm not. So sometimes I feel I will be single for the rest of my life, but I know someone is out there...just don't know who or where.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Fri, Dec 15, 2006 16:04

Um, no jjiggl, I can honestly say that I have had loads of friends - men and women of all types of races, and I have never, ever had a conversation remotely close to the subject J-man has brought up. In high school, my dearest, closest best(est) friend was a very handsome, very 'black', guy. We were inseparable and even found that we had bonded close enough so that we were beyond the color of our skin. I don't recall him ever carrying on a conversation like that... not with anyone. As a matter of fact, I do recall quite clearly how shunned I was in his "black" community - not because I was overweight or slovenly, but because I was white and the 'sista's' just didn't understand why he was attracted to a white biotch. The fact is, I am not 'white'. I am a very colorful person. The same, I suspect, of everyone.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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jjiggl
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Posted on Thu, Dec 14, 2006 23:43

You ever hear the line: "It's a black thang and you would not understand?" That is the kind of comment that J was making--except that I don't think that he knew that at the time. I think that what J was eluding to was something that I used to hear black people,--usually older black people say whenever a bbwhite woman and a black man were in a relationship together: "He (the particular black man) would never be with a black woman if she looked like that." Now mind you, "looking like that" meant that the woman was not only overweight. She would be overweight, poorly dressed and poor looking. The thinking behind the other comments about white bbw's being dumb and such has to do with the possibility that the only reason that the bbwhite woman is with the black man is because white men don't want her. Her abandonment and rejection by her own race is the cause for her low self-esteem. And we all know that a woman with low self-esteem is usually easy prey for a man who wants to use a woman. I'll probably have my "card" revoked for explaining his comment, but I thought that you should be enlightened. I would also like to add that just because J had this discussion with his friends, does not mean that he or any of them are necessarily of low character. We all know that when you are hanging out with your friends, feeling comfortable and having a good time sometimes you find yourself in conversations that you would not have with anyone else. Lighten up on him. We all have done it. Any of you that haven't had those kind of conversations, probably don't have any friends.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Tue, Dec 12, 2006 10:12

Thanks for clarifying, jjiggl honey. I understood that part, I guess I just went blank after trying to understand his statement. I mean, I have never known a "brotha" to scout the bbw scene for a white woman just because they think she is easy. Everyone knows black men are the most accepting of the bbw. In fact, PREFER a "black" bbw not because she is sexually desperate but because he wants a woman that is thick and bold and not afraid to get what she wants. Race and culture are personal preferences here, not community preferences. I think this guy just happens to hang out with some tremendously ignorant people. But let's not rule this out completely. This could be an ideal lesson to learn for some bbw's of any race. I know there are bbw's out there that have low self esteem and because they have this desire for some kind of affirmation of their importance and attention from someone they love and to even love someone that they are often naive but by no means are they DUMB. So, Jaybabee, share this info with your "friends" who think it is fun to prey on trusting, selfless bbw's who are only looking for love and instead get shafted and shamed by a-holes like them at your next round table discussion, and tell them what they really are to us proud BBW's. Scum. Scrub. Infants who couldn't get a woman, easy or not without propaganda.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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moca28
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Posted on Fri, Dec 08, 2006 15:24

you must be crazy i guess you are not looking to hook up with anyone here if thats all you have to say


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jjiggl
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Posted on Thu, Dec 07, 2006 11:11

"y do blk men like bbww, but sistas get no love?" Translation: Why do black men like big beautiful white women, but not big beautiful black women?


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wanda_world
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Posted on Thu, Dec 07, 2006 10:28

Jaybabee, I personally would be embarressed to admit I had sat in on a round table discussion on how white women are easier,dumb,sex-starved and weaker, even if I disagreed. Perhaps that is how brothers in your area think, and you seem to disagree. But I agree with Honeybabe and think you should have kept that tidbit of information to yourself. What was your point in posting this? Was it to tell white women you don't think they are easy? Or was it to try and make yourself look good and some of your brothers look bad? Or was it to try to get some brothers to look at BBW sistas? I still don't understand. I spend my days caring for, working with, and talking to numerous family members of brothers and sistas who are chronically ill. I don't see any BBW sistas having problems getting love, nor am I treated by anyone as weaker,dumb,easy or sex starved. On the contrary, I am treated with much respect and dignity. On one point I do agree- ALL bbw's are special and should be appreciated for the wonderfully complex creatures they are.


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MzCreamee23
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Posted on Wed, Dec 06, 2006 16:37

I think men (black/white/asian/etc) just have their prefrences if he just happens to prefer a white bbw then thats his business.....I've been contacted by different types of men ......it's whatever.


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jjiggl
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Posted on Wed, Dec 06, 2006 14:04

I understood him just fine. Hmm, I wonder why??


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honeybabe1956
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Posted on Wed, Dec 06, 2006 05:48

What 'Sistas' aren't getting any love? Sounds like some of 'the brothers' need a reality check, and be it that they are your friends say's a little about who you are. To even suggest that women... no matter what shade, are easy or dumb is an insult. A man of class would not have posted anything so insulting, and in mature. Gutter conversations between the boys should remain between the boys. We are to be honored here.


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wanda_world
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Posted on Wed, Dec 06, 2006 00:40

AmuseMe, I didn't understand either. Perhaps he has a secret we don't know about?


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jaybabee
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Posted on Tue, Dec 05, 2006 19:52

well, i didnt write it in VULCAN! this is simply a comment about a roundtable discussion i'd had with a bunch of friends. take it for what its worth.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Mon, Dec 04, 2006 20:35

- What?????


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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