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What would say to your idol if you met them?
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76 Views
10/20/09
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Movie star, sports star, musician, entrepreneur ..... most of us have an idol or two.
Mine from my teens would probably be Sting .... gorgeous man, great voice, talented musician, cool ethics, the list goes on.
But would I want to meet him? Hmmmm, probably not - I'd be embarrassed, tongue tied and likely make a complete fool of myself stuttering out something ridiculous instead of being my usual (ha ha!) smart and sophisticated self!!
So .... have you met your idol? How was the experience? Or would you like to meet them? What would you say to them? (Or what would you hope to be able to say to them if you didn't turn into a jibbering wreck?)
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Deadly Photo Sins?
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146 Views
10/16/09
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I got an email via another dating site which sited the following "Top Five Photo Sins"....
1. Photos where you?ve removed an ex
A great picture of you, but unfortunately you?ve got your arm round an old flame. It?s tempting to simply cut out the other person, but unless you?re a graphic designer don?t even try. For one thing, the photo will just be a constant reminder of your ex, and for another it doesn?t give a great impression to potential admirers.
2. You and your celebrity ?friend?
The celeb friend still a worrying trend. If you met David Beckham once then that?s great, but if you have that photo as your profile picture on an online dating site you?re just going to look like someone standing next to a celebrity. If you do happen to be friends with David Beckham, you still shouldn?t have him in your picture. It suggests insecurity that you don?t think you have enough to offer just as yourself ? which of course you do!
3. The grainy webcam/camera phone photo
Your profile picture doesn?t have to look like it was taken by David Bailey, but thinking you can get away with a small, grainy webcam or camera phone picture isn?t good enough. For one thing, it looks like you can?t really be bothered to upload a good photo of yourself. We?re not saying all camera phone pictures are a no-no; some are great quality, just be careful. And if in doubt, ask a friend whose opinion you admire.
4. You showing off
Whether you?re behind the wheel of your Mercedes or brandishing a Chanel handbag in your photo, it?s probably going to be clear you?re showing off. And that just gives off the impression that you?re superficial ? even if you?re not. However, if your hobby involves expensive things, such as doing up classic cars then this is less of a problem. Just be sure the photo is demonstrating you doing something you love, and not just that you own an Aston Martin DB5.
5. You on a drunken night out with friends
You think a photo of you in a bar with your friends makes you look fun and outgoing, others think you look like a soggy mess who refuses to stay in of an evening. We?re not saying there?s anything wrong with a photo of you taken with friends, just don?t look like you?ve been awake for 30 hours and have just downed five shots of Sambuca.
Hmmmm, personally I'm not sure any of those would have sprung to my mind - my pet hates are:
- Semi clothed and posing indoors (shirtless on the beach or by the pool doesn't seem so bizarre, tho personally I tend to be put off by a guy who seems to think that's all I'm interested in. Of course I may have a good look first before moving on, lol!)
- Naked with something strategigally covering certain part(s) - just reeks of desparation!
- Photo of a specific part rather than the face (eg: an eye or pouting lips ..... cleanse your minds, lol, not necessarily private parts!)
- The same photo used year after year
- Looking grumpy - hey most of us don't enjoy having a camera pointed at us but frowning doesn't do any of us any favours!
But generally all I want from a photo initially is to get an impression of the person, so in most circumstances any photo might be better than none at all.
What does everyone else think?
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First Impressions / First Contact
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101 Views
10/12/09
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I have occasionally been (for me!) very brave and made the "first move" on internet dating sites. Personally I tend towards the friendly short introduction along the lines of "Hi, just read your profile and it made me smile. Give me a yell if you fancy a chat some time, then we can get to know more about each other; and if not then all the best in your search. Enjoy the rest of your day" I'll likely refer to something specific in the profile - location, favourite music or whatever just so they know I've read it and am not taking the scattergun approach.
I guess I react best to something along similar lines; friendly, not pushy, pleasant. Something I've seldom seen, lol, so maybe I need to manage my expectations?!
I recently received an email saying, amongst other things, "I will love to keep close contact with you..and stay close to your heart because since the time i saw your lovely face and read trough your profile you have to really prove to me that you are that woman i have always wanted to spend my life with.. Please feel free to come into my life.i want you to take perfect control of my emotions"
My first reaction to this was "Ew that's a bit over the top" and "I wonder how many others that has been cut & pasted to" ..... then the dodgy English made me think maybe that's not his first language and perhaps I'm being a little harsh? In this instance I sent a short friendly reply, and haven't heard anything back, which isn't an issue.
But it got me to wondering more generally how we all make that first approach (online rather than in real life)
I'm sure we'll all have different views/reactions .... what works for you? What have been successful/effective approaches you have either made or received?
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How we measure success
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38 Views
10/05/09
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At age 4 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . Having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money.
At age 70 success is. .. . Having a driver?s license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.
Is this what they mean by the circle of life??
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Sick of the man-bashing
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175 Views
09/28/09
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Newsflash: Men are not perfect .... and neither are women!
Seems to me that lately there is even more male-bashing than usual going on at LF these days. Even the guys are joining in!
Can we not all just focus on the ones that ARE decent, and DO have the qualities we are looking for and quit trying to change those who aren't and don't??
I know that it may be a little idealistic, but I for one really don't have the time or the inclination to try and change someone who doesn't want to be changed, just as I don't have any intention of changing myself to suit a man who is looking for something that I'm not!
How about a bit of "live and let live". The one thing that most are probably looking for is honesty so let's try and get more of that rather than trying to force everyone into the same mould.
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Mostly for the over 40s.....
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137 Views
09/24/09
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I got this email, thought I'd share it with you. Young 'uns beware!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh.....it is all true...
Perks of reaching 40 or being over 50 and heading towards 60!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
If you?re nodding your head to most of the above, never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night :)
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Slight sexist joke .....
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93 Views
09/11/09
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A man climbs into bed and reaches over to his wife. He starts sliding his hand slowly across her shoulders, then down her side, just brushing at her cleavage.
He carries on down her side to her legs, slides her legs apart and slowly runs his hand up and down the inner side of her thighs. He slows down and moves back towards the top of her thighs.
Suddenly he stops ..... his wife gasps, "Why have you stopped???" . "Ssshhhh darling" he replies, "I've found the remote, now go back to sleep".
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What would make you pay up for gold membership?
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108 Views
05/10/09
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Ok so we've all noticed some of the recent changes to the site and had a bit of a gripe about them. Maybe we now need to look at it from another angle.
For most people, regardless of income/funds/financial hardship, if there's something we really wanted we'd find a way of affording it.
So, if you consider something like membership of a site like this, a month's membership probably isn't much more than a couple of nights out. Yet not many seem to be choosing to pay, myself included.
So, what would be the one or two things you would like to see here that might make you tighten your belt and try to sign up as a paying member for a short time at least?
For me, it would simply be if there were more UK guys in my age bracket who weren't married and just looking for discrete liaisons! And who bothered to post a pic and some detail in their profile. So I guess that would necessitate LF marketing themselves a bit more in the UK.
If I was seeing more members that I might be interested in getting to know, that would pale all my other gripes about the site into insignificance..... are you listening LF?
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What do you call your parents?
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79 Views
05/04/09
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A slightly trivial topic I suppose, but a recent conversation with friends got me curious.
My mother is always "Mum" to me, and when he was alive my father was always "Dad".
I know there are regional variations (Mom, Pop etc etc) and other affectionate nick names. But is it usual for people to still use the parental names as adults?
I have a few friends that call their parents by their first names, and I've a couple of friends whose older kids do the same for them.
There are no right or wrong answers, but what do YOU do? And is it family tradition, a cultural/regional thing, or no particular reason but that's just how it evolved?
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Who's been messing....??
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262 Views
04/22/09
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OK, own up, who's been messing with the LF site?!
Now when I log on I go straight to "chat" whether I want to or not, and I can only navigate between different areas (blogs, forums etc) by going back to the home page.
Also noticed on the blogs that it show number of visits rather than number of comments - what's the use of that?!!
I'm not one to stand in the way of progress but this seems like a big step back rather than an improvement ... anyone else noticed any differences? Or maybe folk have asked for it to be this way?
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IT Support
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52 Views
10/09/08
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INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and
Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
Rugby 5.0,
Football 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
.................................
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the F*rting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
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How many sites.....
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129 Views
09/29/08
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How many dating sites are you on? And are you sure that it's the same number you think?
I am only signed up to LF in this name, and one other site in a slightly different name.
When G00gling another screen name (a potential scammer) I thought I'd see what came up if I put in Islandgal64.
Well there was a surprise waiting for me ..... a whole load of different dating sites, mostly BBW related, all linked up with my blog postings on LF.
When I looked at some of the sites the format was nigh on identical to this one, just a different name, colour scheme and pic.
Not sure I see the point, except that I daresay LF makes some money from selling on the details.
The names of some of the sites were certainly not the type I would choose to sign up for to be honest - maybe that accounts for some of the dubious contacts we sometimes get on here? (Bigdaddymatch, largeandincharge, adultbbwmatch)
I feel a bit bothered by it (though maybe there's something about it in the small print) as I like to have some control in where my details appear.
What do you think?
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View your compatilbility....
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134 Views
09/09/08
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Anyone noticed this new feature? As a non-paying member and therefore apparently lower class citizen, the feature is locked.
However, no matter whose profile I look at it tells me my compatibility with them is HOT. Male, female, any age, any part of the world, lol. I presume this is intended to convince me to pay up so I can see?
How about you paying members ... is it useful (or better?) for you?
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Long Distance not for me
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102 Views
08/31/08
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Another rant I'm afraid, lol. I'm sure this subject has been done to death already though I couldn't find a similar title.
I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. I've made that pretty clear on my profile and will politely but firmly point it out to anyone who instigates chat or email.
It's nothing personal against anyone as an individual; it's just not going to work for ME. And I don't want penfiends or the equivalent online version. I already have real friends all over the uk and further afield that I'm rubbish at keeping in touch with.
So guys, please don't sound off at me and get abusive just because we have different preferences! If distance is genuinely not an issue for you, that's great. But you need to be chatting to a woman who feels similarly, don't try and convert someone who is very clear about what is right for them!
Right, I'm off for a lie down in a darkened room .......
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Deliberate Mis-spelling
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241 Views
09/02/08
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Is the deliberate mis-spelling of coarse language and sexual terms to sneak it past the censors/ moderators big and clever or simply a sign of ignorance and arrogance?
Although this is a site for over 18s, you don't need to sign up to be able to read the blogs ..... which means children - maybe your own - could be watching some of you drag it down into the gutter.
Classy.
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Really annoying questions
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267 Views
08/31/08
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I'm sure I'm not alone in finding the initial "getting to know you" stuff online mostly quite tedious.
But there's one question in particular that really winds me up and I'm not sure why it bugs me so much.
"Why aren't you married?"
I know I'm in the minority at the grand old age of 44 to have never married and had kids, but my reason (which is simply I've never met anyone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with) is never enough.
When you ask "but why?" or "how come?" what are you really expecting or hoping I'll say? Are you hoping for some dark freaky secret?
I'm not touting for answers, but do other people frequently get asked questions that really bug them?
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Food for Thought
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74 Views
08/26/08
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I'm not what you'd call religious but a friend sent this to me and I found it fascinating.
It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish . . . All before making a human.
He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We're such slow learners...
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... And YES, science now shows carrots greatly
enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers
and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound
heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are
just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods
are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Avocados, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research
shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs
increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of
Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the
glycemic index of diabetics.
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries
Oranges , Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.
(Hope the moderators haven't censored out ant of the correct terms for the body parts mentioned!)
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Dating Site Etiquette
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173 Views
08/06/08
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I'm not new to the online "dating" scene but I still find the way people conduct themselves online a little odd at times. Is it because we are hiding behind our screens that makes us act differently or the fact we can stay relatively anonymous? (Actually, for the record, I try to say it as it is rather than pretend to be someone/something else - too much like hard work!!)
Just a few of the things that strike me as odd (and not just from this site) are:
- being added as a buddy or favourite by someone who has made no attempt to contact you - a bit like having a cyber stalker especially when they are nowhere near being a match
- the smiles/winks/emails from people the other side of the world who are also miles away in terms of any other areas of compatibility
- getting a smile/wink from someone with the minimum possible on their profile .... creepy!
- the desire to talk way too freely about personal and sexual issues in an open forum - doesn't that make you feel like public property?
- the emails just saying "hello" - hardly a great conversation starter
- the IM/PMs that go straight for the sexual tone "are you naughty do you have a toy" without as much as a hello are you free to chat .... bet they wouldn't be that forward in a pub!
So are there any similar puzzling experiences or am I just being old fashioned?!
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