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SupersizedK
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Posted on Mon, Jul 02, 2007 22:34

Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question?


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Mon, Jul 02, 2007 22:32

Q. My cat is the sweetest old furry fella who loves to cuddle up next to my head after I have fallen asleep at night. Lately, I've been awakened to the extremely loud smell of cat farts - he really is a sweetie, what can I do?

A: Some would suggest cramming a cork into kitty's caboose, but that's just cruel. Just take the hose from your vacume & cram that into kitty's tuckus instead. The cat won't explode from the gas buildup, & his farts are directed away from your nose. ^_^


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Mon, Jul 02, 2007 19:17

Re: staceynkansas write: Q. How long should folks date before having sex? A. This a common mistake made in dating. Sex comes before dating. Sex is a screening process and helps narrow down the dating field. Q. There is a guy I am interested in but he doesn't know I exist. How do I get his attention?

A. Stand in front of his house and hold your dress up over your head while naked underneath and yell out YOOOOO HOOOOO!!! Q. My cat is the sweetest old furry fella who loves to cuddle up next to my head after I have fallen asleep at night. Lately, I've been awakened to the extremely loud smell of cat farts - he really is a sweetie, what can I do?


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Sun, Jul 01, 2007 19:20

Whooohoo, Honeybiscuit-- you sure got a fun thing going! Okay, gotta get caught up. In no particular order: Q. I need to buy a new TV. How do I decide which one is best? A: That would be the one you can smuggle out of your parent's home when they're sleeping. ------------- Q. How long should folks date before having sex? A: From the curb to the car. ------------- Q. There is a guy I am interested in but he doesn't know I exist. How do I get his attention? A: Arrange for a series of 'accidents' for his family & friends, thereby removing annoying distractions. ---------------- Q: I've lost weight and my pants keep falling off, how do I keep them up? A: Don't wear them at all- Fate is telling you to show off your new booty. ---------------- Q: I recently had a shed fire due an attempt to rid my property of a recent ant infestation - can I buy house/dwelling insurance and have them back date it??? A: I got nothing for ya, this just cracked me up! ----------- Q: My mother-in-law wants to come and visit, how do I tell her no. A: Let her visit. Then invite her into the toolshed to look at the ants before the napalm goes off. ------------ Q: A good friend of mine is getting married and I am her maid of honor. The circus is coming to town on the very same day and I really really really want to go. My friend will be hurt and disappointed if I don't go to her wedding, but I absolutely love clowns and jugglers. What should I do? A: Bring the circus (yes, the entire circus) to the wedding as your date/guest (save a juggler for me, please). ------------ Q. How do I make my flip flops stop making that awful "flip floppy" sound when I walk? A: Attach whoopie cushions to make a more impressive noise. -------------- Q. My mice are breeding like flies! What should I do?? A: First, tell them to get out of the potato salad. Then tell them they'll have more success if they start breeding like mice.


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coolcool
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Posted on Sun, Jul 01, 2007 05:00

Re: staceynkansas write: Q. How long should folks date before having sex? A. This a common mistake made in dating. Sex comes before dating. Sex is a screening process and helps narrow down the dating field. Q. There is a guy I am interested in but he doesn't know I exist. How do I get his attention?

Throw stones at is window shattering some glasses, there will be no way he will not pay attantion


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coolcool
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Posted on Sun, Jul 01, 2007 04:57


Q. I saw my neighbor kicking his dog. What should I do? Tell him to give the dog a bit on its nose if the dog really made him mad. However you are really funny.


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Sat, Jun 30, 2007 10:21

Q. How long should folks date before having sex? A. This a common mistake made in dating. Sex comes before dating. Sex is a screening process and helps narrow down the dating field. Q. There is a guy I am interested in but he doesn't know I exist. How do I get his attention?


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jjiggl
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Posted on Sat, Jun 30, 2007 07:00

Q: I recently had a shed fire due an attempt to rid my property of a recent ant infestation - can I buy house/dwelling insurance and have them back date it??? A: No, that would be illegal. But what you could do is take a photograph of your home to another insurance company, insure the house for an exhorbant amount and as soon as your check for your premium clears, call the company and tell them that you had a fire. Q: A good friend of mine is getting married and I am her maid of honor. The circus is coming to town on the very same day and I really really really want to go. My friend will be hurt and disappointed if I don't go to her wedding, but I absolutely love clowns and jugglers. What should I do?


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jjiggl
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Posted on Sat, Jun 30, 2007 06:37

Re: honeybiscuit write: Q. How long should folks date before they have sex?

A. On the first date, just in case you don't like each other. Q. How do I make my flip flops stop making that awful "flip floppy" sound when I walk?


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bizzle49
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Posted on Fri, Jun 29, 2007 18:32

Q. How long should folks date before they have sex? A: It would depend if you're on Daylight Savings or Eastern Standard time...... Q. My mice are breeding like flies! What should I do??


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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Fri, Jun 29, 2007 18:18

Q. How long should folks date before they have sex?

A: You don't have to date, you don't even have to know their name, just be of legal age and it is a go...Good luck with that. Q: My mother-in-law wants to come and visit, how do I tell her no.


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Thu, Jun 28, 2007 23:52

Let's see maybe I can catch us up here so no Question gets lost - after all everyone can use advice. tee hee bizzle49 write: Q I thought my heater was leaking. Does gas smell like rotten cabbage? A. Not always. The smell depends on what you have been eating. Carmel Q: I've lost weight and my pants keep falling off, how do I keep them up? A. Pull them up to your chin and cut out arm holes just below the waiste band. Cinch the waist around your decolage with colorful belts creating a new high fashion one piece jumper called the "Carmel Casing" that will make you a multi-millionair and the toast of fashion in Milan, Paris and NewYork . SupersizedK Q: There are usually some drivers in the passing lane going 50 mph in a local 3-lane 65 mph interstate. What is the best way to deal with these slowpokes? A. Dedicate the rest of your life, money and efforts towards gettting legislation passed that will provide trap doors in the roadways that will be activated when a car slows below 65mph. Or go on tv on that new invention show and try to get funding to fully develop your idea for wheel exstenda-pogo-sticks that will allow faster cars to leap frog the slow cars. Q. How long should folks date before they have sex?


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Thu, Jun 28, 2007 17:51

Q: After a long date my partner's handcuffs always leaves embarrassing bruises on me. How can I avoid this?

A: Don't take the handcuffs off (it'll also save time putting them back on). Q: What can I do about the neighbor who keeps stealing my nespaper?


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smoosh
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Posted on Thu, Jun 28, 2007 14:11

Q: There are usually some drivers in the passing lane going 50 mph in a local 3-lane 65 mph interstate. What is the best way to deal with these slowpokes? A: That's what bumpers are for - speed up and nag onto their bumper and show that Sunday driver the real speed limit ( not for the driver's of the Smart Car imitation roller skate ) Q: I recently had a shed fire due an attempt to rid my property of a recent ant infestation - can I buy house/dwelling insurance and have them back date it???


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Wed, Jun 27, 2007 17:57

Q. My work mate wears clothes that are too revealing/sexy and I am distracted - what should I do?

A: Tell him to just take those distracting clothes off so you can get some work done. ^_~ Q: There are usually some drivers in the passing lane going 50 mph in a local 3-lane 65 mph interstate. What is the best way to deal with these slowpokes?


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bizzle49
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Posted on Tue, Jun 26, 2007 21:32

Q: How do I get rid of an infestation of ants in my tool shed? Pour gas on the floor and then use a candle to drive the ants into the gas so they'll die. Q: After a long date my partner's handcuffs always leaves embarrassing bruises on me. How can I avoid this?


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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Tue, Jun 26, 2007 21:10

Q: How do I get rid of an infestation of ants in my toolshed?

A: Sprinkle sugar on the ground that leads to your kitchen. Q: I've lost weight and my pants keep falling off, how do I keep them up?


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bizzle49
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Posted on Tue, Jun 26, 2007 17:47

Q. I saw my neighbor kicking his dog. What should I do? A: brning your dog over for a good kicking too. Q I thought my heater was leaking. Does gas smell like rotten cabbage?


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smoosh
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Posted on Tue, Jun 26, 2007 14:26

Q. I saw my neighbor kicking his dog. What should I do?

Advice: Collect all the neighbours pets and put them in his yard so he can spread the love. Q. My work mate wears clothes that are too revealing/sexy and I am distracted - what should I do?


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Tue, Jun 26, 2007 11:48

Q. I saw my neighbor kicking his dog. What should I do?

A: Give him pointers so he can improve his form. Maybe he'll do better if he practices first with a different breed. Q: How do I get rid of an infestation of ants in my toolshed?


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