Q: My friends sister smells bad, how do I tell her?
A: Buy her a gallon of disinfectant, a can of air freshner and a bathing sponge. Place the items in a gift basket. (Don't forget the bow). Put on a gas mask and give it to her while saying the following, "I saw this and I thought of you".
Q: My friends sister smells bad, how do I tell her?
A: Buy her a gallon of disinfectant, a can of air freshner and a bathing sponge. Place the items in a gift basket. (Don't forget the bow). Put on a gas mask and give it to her while saying the following, "I saw this and I thought of you".
Q: My boyfriend likes his steak medium and I like mine well done. How can we compromise?
A: Since well done usually means tough, you should cook the steak the way you like it. At dinner put the steak on your plate and chew on each piece until it is the consistency of a medium steak, but don't swallow it. After each piece, lay a nice, wet and juicy kiss on your man and during the kiss, use your tongue to push the piece of steak in his mouth. (Now that is LUVIN'!! YUM YUM!!)
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Q: My boyfriend likes his steak medium and I like mine well done. How can we compromise?
A: Since well done usually means tough, you should cook the steak the way you like it. At dinner put the steak on your plate and chew on each piece until it is the consistency of a medium steak, but don't swallow it. After each piece, lay a nice, wet and juicy kiss on your man and during the kiss, use your tongue to push the piece of steak in his mouth. (Now that is LUVIN'!! YUM YUM!!)
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
bizzle49 write: Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?
A: To save a bundle, you don't need no stinking mechanic, just keep driving straight ahead. When you want to make a left hand turn, open the door and put your foot on the ground. This will cause the car to pivot, thus making your car turn to the left. In case you might want to make a right hand turn, make sure you have someone in the passenger seat so that they can repeat the process.
Q: How can I get my next door neighbor to stop letting his doggy take a dump in my yard?
Re:
bizzle49 write: Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?
A: To save a bundle, you don't need no stinking mechanic, just keep driving straight ahead. When you want to make a left hand turn, open the door and put your foot on the ground. This will cause the car to pivot, thus making your car turn to the left. In case you might want to make a right hand turn, make sure you have someone in the passenger seat so that they can repeat the process.
Q: How can I get my next door neighbor to stop letting his doggy take a dump in my yard?
Q: When I lose my cell in my apartment, how can I call it so that I know where it is if I don't have another phone line.
A: Stand in the middle of your apartment. Cup your hands around your mouth. At the top of your lungs yell, "Here celly, celly, celly!!" (This is best done in the wee hours of the morning around 2:00 to 4:00 AM!)
Q: A good friend of mine calls me at work no less than 3 times a day to talk about nothing and to ask what I am doing. What shall I tell her??
Re:
Q: When I lose my cell in my apartment, how can I call it so that I know where it is if I don't have another phone line.
A: Stand in the middle of your apartment. Cup your hands around your mouth. At the top of your lungs yell, "Here celly, celly, celly!!" (This is best done in the wee hours of the morning around 2:00 to 4:00 AM!)
Q: A good friend of mine calls me at work no less than 3 times a day to talk about nothing and to ask what I am doing. What shall I tell her??
SupersizedK write: Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question?
A: Print out this post and staple the pages to your forhead.
Q: What's the best way to remove ink stains?
Re:
SupersizedK write: Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question?
A: Print out this post and staple the pages to your forhead.
Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?
A: Actually yes, there is a new device out on the market, the cost is a little expensive, but worth every penny. The cost is $500,000 and this is good for 10 years. It comes with a mechanic to fix the problem and a driver, cause YOU need to NOT be behind the wheel of a car. :)
I want an IPod, but I'm don't know how to get one...any ideas?
Re:
Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?
A: Actually yes, there is a new device out on the market, the cost is a little expensive, but worth every penny. The cost is $500,000 and this is good for 10 years. It comes with a mechanic to fix the problem and a driver, cause YOU need to NOT be behind the wheel of a car. :)
I want an IPod, but I'm don't know how to get one...any ideas?
honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date.
Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?
Re:
SweetCarmelBBBW write:
Re:
honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date.
Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?
OMG yall really got me going. Advice is so right on. LOL. Now someone answer Bizz's question about his non left leaning car. - maybe he needs to tie to a right wing car????
Re:
SupersizedK write:
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
A: I have a far more productive use of your time: 1) Pick up a brick 2) Bang it repeatedly against your head.
Re:
SupersizedK write:
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
A: I have a far more productive use of your time: 1) Pick up a brick 2) Bang it repeatedly against your head.
OMG yall really got me going. Advice is so right on. LOL. Now someone answer Bizz's question about his non left leaning car. - maybe he needs to tie to a right wing car????
honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date.
Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?
Re:
SweetCarmelBBBW write:
Re:
honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date.
Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
A. Once you gain his address, buy/rent a door ram and crash his door down and introduce yourself.
Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
A. Once you gain his address, buy/rent a door ram and crash his door down and introduce yourself.
Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
A: I have a far more productive use of your time: 1) Pick up a brick 2) Bang it repeatedly against your head.
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
A: I have a far more productive use of your time: 1) Pick up a brick 2) Bang it repeatedly against your head.
honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date.
Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?
Re:
honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date.
Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?
Re: SupersizedK wrote: Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question?
A. Spend the next 12 hours doing nothing but thinking up questions you've always wanted the answers too. And take a permanent marker and write them on your walls. Invite the neighbors and your family and kids in to help out. After a while you will have hundreds of questions you've always wanted to ask and you will have no problem remembering.
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
Re: SupersizedK wrote: Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question?
A. Spend the next 12 hours doing nothing but thinking up questions you've always wanted the answers too. And take a permanent marker and write them on your walls. Invite the neighbors and your family and kids in to help out. After a while you will have hundreds of questions you've always wanted to ask and you will have no problem remembering.
Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.
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