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stannosstacey
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Posted on Fri, Jul 13, 2007 16:02

Q. My daughter is moving out this weekend. What should I do with her room? A. Make it into a love dungeon and put a vacancy sign on the front door. Q. I am tired of working. What is a good way to retire early?


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Wed, Jul 11, 2007 07:32

Re: jjiggl write: Re: SweetCarmelBBBW write: Q: I want an IPod, but I'm don't know how to get one...any ideas? A: Be a good girl and ask Santa Clause for one. Q: I am addicted to LargeFriends. How can I stop?

A: push all the computeres in your house out of the 2nd floor window. Q: How do we get Amuse to come back to the boards?


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Wed, Jul 11, 2007 07:30

Re: jjiggl write: Re: bitterman405 write: Q: I keep falling for women with more baggage than an airport skycap. What should I do? A: Date a nudist. Q: What came first,--the chicken or the egg?

A. everyone knows this - they came together.


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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 16:23

Q: My friends sister smells bad, how do I tell her?

A: Buy her a gallon of disinfectant, a can of air freshner and a bathing sponge. Place the items in a gift basket. (Don't forget the bow). Put on a gas mask and give it to her while saying the following, "I saw this and I thought of you".


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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 16:12

Re: SweetCarmelBBBW write: Q: I want an IPod, but I'm don't know how to get one...any ideas?

A: Be a good girl and ask Santa Clause for one. Q: I am addicted to LargeFriends. How can I stop?


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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 16:09

Re: bitterman405 write: Q: I keep falling for women with more baggage than an airport skycap. What should I do? A: Date a nudist. Q: What came first,--the chicken or the egg?



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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 16:07

Q: My boyfriend likes his steak medium and I like mine well done. How can we compromise?

A: Since well done usually means tough, you should cook the steak the way you like it. At dinner put the steak on your plate and chew on each piece until it is the consistency of a medium steak, but don't swallow it. After each piece, lay a nice, wet and juicy kiss on your man and during the kiss, use your tongue to push the piece of steak in his mouth. (Now that is LUVIN'!! YUM YUM!!) Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 16:01

Re: bizzle49 write: Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?

A: To save a bundle, you don't need no stinking mechanic, just keep driving straight ahead. When you want to make a left hand turn, open the door and put your foot on the ground. This will cause the car to pivot, thus making your car turn to the left. In case you might want to make a right hand turn, make sure you have someone in the passenger seat so that they can repeat the process. Q: How can I get my next door neighbor to stop letting his doggy take a dump in my yard?


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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 15:48

Re: Q: When I lose my cell in my apartment, how can I call it so that I know where it is if I don't have another phone line.

A: Stand in the middle of your apartment. Cup your hands around your mouth. At the top of your lungs yell, "Here celly, celly, celly!!" (This is best done in the wee hours of the morning around 2:00 to 4:00 AM!) Q: A good friend of mine calls me at work no less than 3 times a day to talk about nothing and to ask what I am doing. What shall I tell her??


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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 15:41

Re: Q: When I lose my cell in my apartment, how can I call it so that I know where it is if I don't have another phone line.



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jjiggl
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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2007 15:39

Re: SupersizedK write: Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question? A: Print out this post and staple the pages to your forhead. Q: What's the best way to remove ink stains?



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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Fri, Jul 06, 2007 11:29

Re: Q: My boyfriend likes his steak medium and I like mine well done. How can we compromise?

A: Become vegetarians. Q: My friends sister smells bad, how do I tell her?


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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Fri, Jul 06, 2007 11:26

Re: Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?

A: Actually yes, there is a new device out on the market, the cost is a little expensive, but worth every penny. The cost is $500,000 and this is good for 10 years. It comes with a mechanic to fix the problem and a driver, cause YOU need to NOT be behind the wheel of a car. :) I want an IPod, but I'm don't know how to get one...any ideas?


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Thu, Jul 05, 2007 17:18

Re: SweetCarmelBBBW write: Re: honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice. Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date. Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?

ROFLMFAO


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Thu, Jul 05, 2007 17:18

Re: SupersizedK write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice. A: I have a far more productive use of your time: 1) Pick up a brick 2) Bang it repeatedly against your head.

OMG yall really got me going. Advice is so right on. LOL. Now someone answer Bizz's question about his non left leaning car. - maybe he needs to tie to a right wing car????


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Thu, Jul 05, 2007 17:16

Re: SweetCarmelBBBW write: Re: honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice. Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date. Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?

ROFLMFAO


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bizzle49
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Posted on Tue, Jul 03, 2007 20:10

Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice. A. Once you gain his address, buy/rent a door ram and crash his door down and introduce yourself. Q. I put on my directional signals but my car won't turn. Anyone know of a mechanic that can fix this forme?


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Tue, Jul 03, 2007 14:07

Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.

A: I have a far more productive use of your time: 1) Pick up a brick 2) Bang it repeatedly against your head.


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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Tue, Jul 03, 2007 13:44

Re: honeybiscuit write: Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.

Find someone at LF, bribe them to give you this guys personal information. Once you have it stalk him day and night until he gives in to meeting him. Once you are out on date with him he will fall madly in love with you and once that is done, you can dump him for making you go through all of that for a date. Q: I couldn't really think of a question to ask so what should I do?


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Tue, Jul 03, 2007 09:22

Re: SupersizedK wrote: Q: When I answer a question here, I keep forgetting to add a question of my own. What can I do to help remind myself to ask a question?

A. Spend the next 12 hours doing nothing but thinking up questions you've always wanted the answers too. And take a permanent marker and write them on your walls. Invite the neighbors and your family and kids in to help out. After a while you will have hundreds of questions you've always wanted to ask and you will have no problem remembering. Q. I am falling in love with a fella I met online here at LF. We've been emailing for 3 months but he is afraid to meet in person or talk on the phone. But I think he may be "THE ONE". Please give me advice.


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