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do we have only one soulmate? Sort by:
bizzle49
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Posted on Sat, May 12, 2007 15:25

think I'd have to spli8ce together about/at least 4 people to come close to "the one"..so in the meantime will tuck my splicing kit away and concentrate on getting all healed up lol


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Sat, May 12, 2007 10:09

Hey yall, I realized perhaps my parents who've been happily married for going on 50 years would be good to ask this q. First I asked them, "do yall think of each other as your soulmate?" They chuckled at me and said, "well after 50 years yeeaahh", kind of sarcastically. So I ammended my approach and asked, "do you believe you have only one soul mate?". They again chuckled indulgently at me as if I were 7 years old instead of 43 and said," well of course we have more than one soul mate - we have many soul mates - it is what you do, your behavior, the commitment you make, the collaboration you create that makes a rewarding partnership with a soulmate. Relationships are hard work - there are ups and downs but you commit and work to be the best person you can be and to help and bring out the best in your soul mate.". Yall this actually happened. They were reclining in their side by side blue, matching lazy boys, both with those little hand held computer games busy fingers working, the tv blaring ( getting kind of hard of hearing)and the remote balanced between them as they talked one finishing or added to the others sentences.... very funny. They hardly even raised their eyes to me as they answered. So my next approach was to read what Carmel wrote and get their reaction - see if that matched thier interpretation. They said, "well yeah that sounds about right. Now the part where she describes the "best conversation" well - she maybe still in a homeymoon phase - we don't think that lasts - but you do have short hand and understand each other very well." And this response points out something else I've noticed, they use the "we" pronoun very easily rarely checking with the other as to whether they are in agreement - they just seem to know they are in agreement. As thier kids it meant they were a seamless united front that we could never divide and conquer. But this also kind of reiterates Carmels' points. So if anyone wants to ask marriage and relationship questions of two crusty 75 year olds who consider themselves happily married for nearly 50 years - just send the q's on over and I will give it a shot so long as the q's are properly respectful. Kind of like the oracle or delphi - yoda and the council - or Dr. Phil and Robin.... lol Here is an old faded pict I found recently found of them that was taken shortly after they were married in 1957.

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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Tue, May 08, 2007 00:21

Great topic Honey, I think a few people come close to that intangible thing we all search for in a mate and then you find that one that you share it all with. That one that takes your happiness to a whole new level. That one that you two can be in the same room and not a word is being spoken, but it is the best conversation you two have had that day. That one that makes you smile when you think of him/her...and you don't even know you are smiling. Even with that, I think relationships are work. But when you find that one, you don't mind putting in the work, because the payoff is so well worth it. Just my .02


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Mon, May 07, 2007 17:15

Growing up I believed there was the 'one' that you had to find. But as I got older I agree with you, there are many ones. It all boils down to the committment to make the relationship work.


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