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She searched my phone, .... Sort by:
AmuseMe
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Posted on Wed, Feb 24, 2010 16:22

Bull-Doodie. Every woman on here who claims to have never looked through someone's phone, especially a NEW lovers' is quite frankly a LIAR. They may feel badly about it, might not want to admit it, but they have done it! And ladies, don't flame me on this, you know it's true!

If you don't have anything to hide, don't act like you do! There is really no reason to get p*ssy about it, unless you are worried she's gonna find something you don't want her to!



In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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Kells29
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Posted on Thu, Feb 04, 2010 14:26

You have every right not to forgive her. That is a break in trust and if you do not have trust in a relationship you have nothing. For trust and of course friendship should be a foundation you start with. I think if she did once then she will again. However, men do invaide privacy too and I think no matter if it is a man or women it stems from being insecure with themselves and therefor that inscurity is spilling over into the relationship. That is something she needs to work on for herself. Ask yourself this..did you give her a reason not to trust you? I not placing blame, just asking??



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scott642000
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Posted on Sun, Jan 31, 2010 08:26

I do really enjoy love BBW Texas close in my area about 50 miles better. Keep up of your life good sunshine in love most. I wish most love BBW with all my heart of Texas. Take care of yourself and be happy life.



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butterbll
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Posted on Thu, Jan 21, 2010 21:19

HD200 in polite response to you FLAMING POST of me. I posted it here . "couldnt help but notice a cetain amount of glee in your response, particularly "player has been discovered". but then what else could one expect from such a seeming loser as you. it has absolutely nothing to do with you why i have texts dating back 4 years (inasmuch it was no business of hers). you do not know why such texts exist but for those who are genuinely curious, as opposed to people like you who get off on schadenfruede, they include messages from concerned family members"

First off Cheif,I Do not Gloat over YOUR's or anyones elses hurt.
Yes she betayed you trust. Hey,I hope you two can patch things up. If you two can work past the hurt and bad feelings . Please don't resort to name calling and such petty shrill remarks.I am sorry if my opinion upset you,however It was based on the limited data that was presented in you post and you past posts here. As for you business dealings. I Do not CARE to know ,nor do I NEED to know them. May you truely find peace in your life.



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alternative_bbw
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Posted on Tue, Jan 19, 2010 06:20

Hi hd2000

I am married and been with the man for 12 years, we would not do that to each other, we laugh and joke about if we have had slightly flirty texts from friends etc but we tend to be the one showing the other.

The girl had no right going through your phone and then to get upset at what she finds is a bit harsh. Hope that you guys are able to talk about what happened and now in the cold light of day calm enough to reflect.

Good luckk with everything.



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hd2000
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Posted on Mon, Jan 18, 2010 13:52

Quoting Katwoman1968:

HD....I would absolutely be upset about that too....it's an invasion of privacy. The only thing I can say is that maybe in the past she was cheated on and hurt very badly and she needs reassurance in her current relationships that it's not happening again. I know cuz I've been there.

Give her a second chance, especially if you really care for her. If she does it again then take action. Good luck!

Kat


thanks kat, sound advice.



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hd2000
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Posted on Mon, Jan 18, 2010 13:51

Quoting Babycakes63:

Don't do it HD. She put her curiosities before your relationship. Just because you sleep with someone, doesn't give them full access to you or your past. Let the loser go. She needs to learn this lesson. If you are a catch, you will find someone who deserves you. If your a playah, this is what happens when you aren't selective about whom you date. Either way such is life. It really is too bad that a person whom wants to find love and share their life with someone has to be so protective of their privacy! Good luck!


thanks baby c. so well put.



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hd2000
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Posted on Mon, Jan 18, 2010 13:45

Quoting nptbabe:

If you ben in this relationship that long then you shouldn't hav any text from no other woman or friend cause it could cause a lot of problem.or less you not happy with the person that you with.wat if you saw text in her phone you wouldn't be this nice about either.if I ben with my guy 4 a long time yes ill check his phone 4 anything.its all about us.sorry wish you luck.


sorry npt, have to disagree. no matter the length of time in a relationship, one is still not entitled to search through the personal belongings of said partner without permission.



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hd2000
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Posted on Mon, Jan 18, 2010 13:40

Quoting ozredhead62:

Hi HD, just had the same thing happen to a friend of male of mine, and she not only read everything but called any name she did not know and quizzed them on who they were.
 
The sad part here is, as you and others have stated, that the trust has been damaged and may take a long time to repair.  Now granted she may have some issues, but then so do most of us, though it does not give license to do that without your permission.  What is hard to know is this a glimpse of future things to come and does she have jealousy and trust issues that will destroy the relationship anyway.
 
Now in saying all of that ..... I will add .... that we all make mistakes.  If you really like her and think you can trust her again then give it a go, she will either win your trust back or the relationship will die anyway.  When we have emotions we can do some silly things, sometimes out of character.  Wish you the best with this only you know if she is worth giving it another go.


besides your beauty oz, you once again display the ability to sum up, assess, and advise oh so succinctly. x



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hd2000
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Posted on Mon, Jan 18, 2010 13:36

Quoting butterbll:

I Agree with Jan63 , Sounds like the PLAYER has been Discovered.Because ,If you havent given her any reason to snoop. She most likely would not have !!! Besides what KNOT HEAD has Email texts from 4 years ago on their phone, unless you want to hook up with them . To me sounds like a player got played, sorry but that is way I feel. Because of the operational security you displayed I hate to say you got what you deserved . Because in the age of info nothing is more important that protecting you eletronic info from prying eyes. That includes girl freind or the criminal element.


couldnt help but notice a cetain amount of glee in your response, particularly "player has been discovered". but then what else could one expect from such a seeming loser as you. it has absolutely nothing to do with you why i have texts dating back 4 years (inasmuch it was no business of hers). you do not know why such texts exist but for those who are genuinely curious, as opposed to people like you who get off on schadenfruede, they include messages from concerned family members. rather than assume i had given her reason to snoop, why not firstly inquire if indeed i had given her such reason? the point is, reason or no reason, she betrayed the trust i had in her not to invade my privacy.



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ozredhead62
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Posted on Sun, Jan 17, 2010 03:11

Hi HD, just had the same thing happen to a friend of male of mine, and she not only read everything but called any name she did not know and quizzed them on who they were.
 
The sad part here is, as you and others have stated, that the trust has been damaged and may take a long time to repair.  Now granted she may have some issues, but then so do most of us, though it does not give license to do that without your permission.  What is hard to know is this a glimpse of future things to come and does she have jealousy and trust issues that will destroy the relationship anyway.
 
Now in saying all of that ..... I will add .... that we all make mistakes.  If you really like her and think you can trust her again then give it a go, she will either win your trust back or the relationship will die anyway.  When we have emotions we can do some silly things, sometimes out of character.  Wish you the best with this only you know if she is worth giving it another go.



Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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Posted on Sat, Jan 16, 2010 19:35

She needs counseling!  It's not like you guys are married.  Now... if you showed signs of cheating and you were married... I'd look- but this isn't the case.  You guys are in a new relationship so the idea shouldn't have even occured to her.  
No one sane wants to be in a relationship with "Big Brother."  Leave her alone. 



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smoosh
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Posted on Sat, Jan 16, 2010 14:15

I think your privacy was invaded and there is/was obviously trust issue. Up to you whether to continue but go with your gut. Pretty hard to re-build trust. I was the object of a phone call from one of those probing girl friend's and had a message left on my phone as to was I and she was the guys' wife etc etc. I had never even met him - only talked to him - big turn off. Good Luck with that.



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hd2000
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 19:12

Quoting Jan63:

The fact that she searched your phone in the first place tells me there was no trust on her part before this happened. Could be an issue from a previous relationship or this one. I must admit I don't have texts on my phone dating back four years.
Only you can decide whether this relationship is worth fixing. If she had no trust in you in the first place and you now have no trust in her, could be a hard slog.
Good luck x


you`re spot on Jan, she has been let down badly in the past, which goes some way to explaining, tho not excusing what she did.



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hd2000
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 19:08

Quoting naught_bbw:

That type of disregard for your privacy is a sure sign that she has entirely too much emotional baggage and will never trust you.  If I were you, I would get out now.
When 2 people are adults, they respect one another's privacy.  If they are merely dating, and do not comingle funds, then what each pays for (phone, apt/home, credit cards, etc.) is taboo to touch unless the owner grants permission to access those things.  Grown women who are merely dating do not search closets or medicine cabinets in others' homes.  They don't search phones.  They don't check your car.
Now, with that said...once you begin comingling funds and there is an expressly stated belief that "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine," then the expectation of complete privacy no longer applies.


not sure what you men by emotional baggage Naught, but as for getting out now, i think i agree with you. thing is i did like her a lot .....



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naught_bbw
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 17:06

That type of disregard for your privacy is a sure sign that she has entirely too much emotional baggage and will never trust you.  If I were you, I would get out now.
When 2 people are adults, they respect one another's privacy.  If they are merely dating, and do not comingle funds, then what each pays for (phone, apt/home, credit cards, etc.) is taboo to touch unless the owner grants permission to access those things.  Grown women who are merely dating do not search closets or medicine cabinets in others' homes.  They don't search phones.  They don't check your car.
Now, with that said...once you begin comingling funds and there is an expressly stated belief that "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine," then the expectation of complete privacy no longer applies.



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nptbabe
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 14:45

If you ben in this relationship that long then you shouldn't hav any text from no other woman or friend cause it could cause a lot of problem.or less you not happy with the person that you with.wat if you saw text in her phone you wouldn't be this nice about either.if I ben with my guy 4 a long time yes ill check his phone 4 anything.its all about us.sorry wish you luck.



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butterbll
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 10:29

I Agree with Jan63 , Sounds like the PLAYER has been Discovered.Because ,If you havent given her any reason to snoop. She most likely would not have !!! Besides what KNOT HEAD has Email texts from 4 years ago on their phone, unless you want to hook up with them . To me sounds like a player got played, sorry but that is way I feel. Because of the operational security you displayed I hate to say you got what you deserved . Because in the age of info nothing is more important that protecting you eletronic info from prying eyes. That includes girl freind or the criminal element.



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Babycakes63
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 03:55

Don't do it HD. She put her curiosities before your relationship. Just because you sleep with someone, doesn't give them full access to you or your past. Let the loser go. She needs to learn this lesson. If you are a catch, you will find someone who deserves you. If your a playah, this is what happens when you aren't selective about whom you date. Either way such is life. It really is too bad that a person whom wants to find love and share their life with someone has to be so protective of their privacy! Good luck!



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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Fri, Jan 15, 2010 03:49

HD....I would absolutely be upset about that too....it's an invasion of privacy. The only thing I can say is that maybe in the past she was cheated on and hurt very badly and she needs reassurance in her current relationships that it's not happening again. I know cuz I've been there.

Give her a second chance, especially if you really care for her. If she does it again then take action. Good luck!

Kat



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