I wrote this one day out of boredom. I've posted it now in nearly all my blogs, so figured I might as well post it here, too.
This is a survey, but it's different. You know all these silly "perfect man" surveys you see out there where women describe their perfect man... Well, I'm doing the opposite. I'm making a survey for men to take, and I'll decide if they're perfect for me or not. I'm not actually expecting anyone to take this survey, but if you do, you'll certainly be considered.
1. What is your IQ? If you don't know it, do you think you're generally what most people would consider highly intelligent?
2. What color is your hair and what color are your eyes? (Note: this has no bearing whatsoever on whether or not you are perfect, I'm just curious.)
3. Are you a virgin?
4. Do you drink? How often? Do you get drunk for fun?
5. Do you smoke?
6. Do you do drugs?
7. How many children do you want?
8. What kind of music do you like?
9. Do you currently have a girlfriend and/or wife? If so, please go away now.
10. Are you from Georgia or are you reasonably close by?
11. Would you be willing to move to Georgia?
12. Are you willing to have my babies? Note that I said YOU will be having the babies, not me. (This question isn't entirely serious, I should note. And neither is the one after it.)
13. Will you allow me to hump your leg if I find you particularly attractive?
14. How long do you typically wait to have sex when you're in a relationship?
15. Are you at least 19?
16. Are you older than 30?
17. Do you have any strange sexual fetishes that I should know about?
18. Will you cheat on or even THINK about cheating on me?
19. Do you or have you often told exaggerated versions of the truth or just plain lies when you thought you wouldn't be caught?
20. Do you like sports? Are you obsessed with sports?
21. What is your religious affiliation?
22. Are you in school? If not, what is your job? If so, what are you studying?
23. Do you like to read? What sorts of books do you like?
24. Do you play any instruments? (If not, that's okay.)
25. Do you have an idealized "look" or "body type" that you're looking for in a woman? Please describe.
26. Do you particularly enjoy mud bogging, wrestling, trucks, etc?
27. Do you mind if I curse? A lot?
28. Of the following, which would describe your body type best: muscled, sturdy, chubby, fat, thin, waif-like, average? (Note: your answer to this question in no way makes you any less perfect, again, I'm just curious.)
29. Do you consider yourself an intellectual?
30. Do you feel that a women should be homemakers and/or that a woman's place is in the kitchen. If so, please go away now.
31. How tall are you? (Another "just curious" question)
32. What is your political sway?
33. We're going on our first date! Where are you taking me?
34. Do you like poetry?
35. Do you wear glasses? If so, please make certain you answered "yes" to number 13.
Heh. Guess that about does it. I'm pretty sure there's not room to answer all those in comments, but give it a go... Or just post the answers in your blog and leave me a comment. Or e-mail me your answers... Whatever works. All entrants will be seriously considered. Please answer honestly. If not, I will know and have you castrated.
I'm nearing 24 and have yet to be in a serious relationship. I've come to realize that this is because I have a lot working against me. First of all, of course, I'm overweight. I know there are guys out there who like women like me, I just don't KNOW any of them. That's why I joined a site like this, I'm tired of guys who want underfed Maxim-esque "beauties" who look like they come from third world countries. I was immediately disappointed when the first profile I viewed was a rather hefty guy looking for "slim" "petite" "athletic" and "average" figured girls. The next one was better, though, so I decided to stay.
2) I'm shy. Ridiculously shy. Borderline anti-social I'd say. I don't "get out there" to meet people. I'm not the go-out-to-bars type. I'm the stay-at-home-and-read type. I know the best thing a plump girl has going for her is her personality, and it's not that I don't have one, it's just that I tend to hide it from other people until I trust them, which usually isn't conducive to making friends or forging any relationships.
And finally... I'm celibate. It's not really a religious thing (though I am Christian, just not really serious about it). It's more of a romantic thing, one I can't easily explain. I just happen to believe sex is the most important thing you can give another person, and I would like to save that for the one RIGHT person. Naturally, this doesn't win me any favors with the male population, who all seem determined to get in my pants. To top it off, I would like to meet a guy who's also saved himself for the right woman... Which, with the pressure on guys to "get laid" as soon as possible after puberty, has become fairly well impossible.
It doesn't help either that I'm so picky about intellect. Not that a guy has to be a genius (though it does help!), but I'd at least like a man I don't have to stop and explain words to.
All in all, I've begun to lump myself in the "going-to-be-alone-forever" category.