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Is it just the me or have the rules on bases changed, a LOT? Posted on Jan 29, 2009 at 04:51 PM

I am really new to this whole idea of internet 'dating', and I don't date a lot in RL either. Well, lets be honest here - I don't date at all in RL.Why not? Am I a hideous troll? Well no, I don't think of, I scrub up well. But I live in SE Asia and anyone over 12o pounds here is considered fat, and they do not like fat on their women. Plus I am a single mother and so my free time is limited.

So I am pretty much invisible (ironic, considering I am often the most visible landmark in the room). But a workmate (a guy) recently married a woman he met online, so I thought to myself, time to get out and start looking, because they aren't coming to find you honey!

When I discovered this website I was sooooo happy. Because I will never be skinny, and I don't mind but it was beginning to seem every man on the planet did.

I looked through a bunch of profiles and found a lot of really good looking (to me anyway) fellas and thought it would take a while, when the very first day I got a wink.

We started to chat, and in our second chat, the talk went from 'tell me about yourself' to very... personal. I kept skipping aorund it, I have nothing against cybersex or naughty talk or flirting, but I am a woman and I need to feel some kind of connection before I go 'there'.

Next thing he is asking if I have nude photos and a cam corder. And sending me a picture of himself in a very, shall we say, excited state.

So I ended the chat right at the point by saying things were moving a little fast for me and I was going to leave.

That's not the end though, because then he says his feelings are all hurt and he didn't mean anything by it and what was wrong? He seemed really offended by the way I stopped the chat.

So, clearly I am a newbie to all this. But can anyone reassure me that this isn't the norm? I'm no prude, I have no problem with flirting online and even sharing photos; I will happily share a photo of what a guy might see if we were out to dinner or at the beach even. By which I mean sort of sexy, but not penthouse shots!

And maybe I guess if things progressed I can see how people might get to a more *adult* point in their chats.

But a home run? In the second chat? When the first one was thirty minutes of 'hi how are you what time will you be on later?'

I guess I know the answer already. I just feel upset and confused by it.

I've been out of the dating world for a decade almost. I had some really unappealing dates last year, and thought this might be a better way to get to know someone first. But it seems like the rules have all changed, and we are expected to act like adult movie stars from the get go.

Am I a grumpy old toad?

Has the world changed so much while I was raising my son from baby to child?