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truefriendinme
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Posted on Thu, Aug 16, 2007 14:11

Sex on the first date is a major NO-NO for me. In fact, I recently went out with someone who barely got out of the car going TO the restraunt, and he started talking about it. It was a massive turn-off for me. I couldn't wait to get home. I even texted my sister and parents while out and told them what a loser I was with. Now, THAT's sad. I haven't seen him since, even in passing, and I hope not to. An emotional connection is absolutely NECESSARY for me to "open up" in that manner. I'm not going to let someone get to know my "insides" unless I feel connected to them. Simple as that. I think I should be "worth the wait" for someone. If I'm not, then they're not worth MY wait!


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Posted on Thu, Aug 16, 2007 12:17

Stacy I agree, cyber sex and/or phone sex it not real for me either. It sure does seem to be real for men though. Women need that emotional connection. Men need only the physical "connection". There in is the difference. Now are men appreciative for phone/cyber sex? Or is it run of the mill? Men, how do you feel about cyber????? Nat32132 Re: staceynkansas write: Does having cyber/phone sex with someone mean that if you meet in person, sex is assumed to happen? I don't think so. Sex is never guaranteed of course but I feel just because two people have had phone/cyber sex doesn't mean it will click in person. To me phone sex isn't real. It can be personal and intimate but not always. Just my thoughts on the subject...... R


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Thu, Aug 16, 2007 11:48

Re: Cheramie write: If you have cyber sex before meeting, does that make a difference in your decision in "real" life?

Does having cyber/phone sex with someone mean that if you meet in person, sex is assumed to happen? I don't think so. Sex is never guaranteed of course but I feel just because two people have had phone/cyber sex doesn't mean it will click in person. To me phone sex isn't real. It can be personal and intimate but not always. Just my thoughts on the subject......


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Posted on Thu, Aug 16, 2007 10:27

Excellent topic, it needs to be awakened I think. I'd have to say that I feel more pressure from some men to "preform" I don't see them again. I much prefer to let things progress, see if there is anything to build on. I like to know that there we both are drawn to each other. The rules don't change because we've been married. We all know how a male works. M= mandatory f= frequently Add to the mix respect for her and yourself. Cyber sex - with strangers NO, however, I have feel if a couple has gotten to a point of excluse with each other. They've gotten into it on a personal level but don't see each other as often as they would like, then bring in cyber sex or phone sex, draw from that personal experience. Tell him how he feels.... Let him tell you how you felt and how he... Well you get the idea. For me, cyber is sex ( Yes, Mr. Clinton ) Nat32132 Re: Cheramie write: Do you always expect sex when you go out with someone a couple times? If you go on a few dates and it looks like you're not getting any for a while, do you end it? If you go out and sex is expected on the first date, is that OK with you? If you have cyber sex before meeting, does that make a difference in your decision in "real" life? I'm just curious, because things move pretty fast on here. I'm curious about answers from both men and women.


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 20:08

phenix, You have strong convictions, I wish you good luck!


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 20:07

xljx, yes, I agree with you. But its seems that even though its made crystal clear, some dates still have hope. When its confirmed that there will be no friends with benefits or f-buddy, they are history. Thanks for your response.


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 20:04

Jolly, Thanks for your reply, yes, I agree with you. but ummm.....I've never heard of the term "hows your father". I can see from context what it means, but where did it come from?


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 20:02

Bigtom, I think its clear by some of the answers here, that some are lookin for booty calls, and some are looking for companionsip with support and respect. Its interesting though to hear from a man, that if sex was expected by a woman, you would end it. Thanks for your reply


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 19:58

dbigrunt, wow, can you be anymore shallow? you think that if a woman doesn't want sex with you that She has hangups?, Its not possible that it may be your attitude? You think a date without sex is a waste of time and money? I think you have a lot a learnin to do about women.


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 19:46

Teachone, wow, that makes it really hard to attempt a long distance romance again. You stated clearly what you expected, and stood by it, which lead to "missing in action". I think I'll stick to local dating, lol.


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Cheramie
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 19:39

Lazyafternoons, 5 minutes? so....you don't require any kind of intelligence or common sense in a partner? or...you have a lead on some brothels in your area? or.... are you just using this blog as a venue for a "booty call" ps these are all rhetorical questions, no need to answer


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teachone
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 15:52

Dating and sex is a big issue, I recently ended a thing I thought I had going with a guy that I did not meet on this site, We saw each other several times before he came to my town overnite. I told him up front that I do not sleep with men on the first date and that I had to be involved in a long term relationship before sex would be a part of what we had going and that I insist on being his one and only. I have watched several people die as a result of aids and I will not risk it when I could contract it. After he did not get the sex he was looking for he just stopped calling and he disappeared without a trace. Now what I feel like today If I had went along with his plan. VERY FOOLISH! I think that expectations need to be stated clearly and then you can make the choice to get with the program or not. I value who I am and I do not let anyone pressure me into a relationship that is nothing but pure sex. I am not a booty call or as one guy said a _ ________ on hold until he needs it. SOOOO! Yes there are many questions that need to be asked and answered when you are dating.


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dteddy69
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Posted on Thu, Aug 17, 2006 11:46

Maybe it's just me but I feel that dating is a preclude to sex. And if you're lucky sex will be early and often. As a guy I'm not trying to give up my time and/or money and not get any. I'm not going to chase you. I'd rather just move on to the next person. I'm now 31 I've come to know that a woman knows if you're getting it from the jump. So if she's holding out it's because she has some serious hang ups. Or you're not the one. Either way it's time to jet.


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bigtom77
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Posted on Wed, Aug 16, 2006 16:30

I myself never expect a woman to give me sex. I also don't beleive in sex on the frist date, I will be more likely to end it if she expects it. I and some other guys on here(I hope anyway) are not looking for a booty call I am looking for someone to love. As for cyber or phone sex that is different, but if it happened I still wouldnt expect anything to change if we were to date.


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jollybuddha
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Posted on Wed, Aug 16, 2006 16:09

To expect sex after a few dates would suggest someone is selfish and superficial and not worth the bother (unless you're selfish and superficial too!) I've found that if anything was to happen then let it happen when its ready. No point in rushing but at the same time you don't necessarily have to wait ages for a bit of 'How's your father'. If it feels like the right thing to do at the time then go for it! If it doesn't feel right then it's not the right time.


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