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Cheramie
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Posted on Sat, Aug 05, 2006 16:48

Do you always expect sex when you go out with someone a couple times? If you go on a few dates and it looks like you're not getting any for a while, do you end it? If you go out and sex is expected on the first date, is that OK with you? If you have cyber sex before meeting, does that make a difference in your decision in "real" life? I'm just curious, because things move pretty fast on here. I'm curious about answers from both men and women.


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wyldechild
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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2007 18:12

Re: staceynkansas write: Makes the day go by so much faster. lol

Sh**, ain't that the truth!!! LOL


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2007 17:23

Makes the day go by so much faster. lol


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wyldechild
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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2007 16:08

Re: staceynkansas write: Or by email during the workday? Great fun.

WEG. I can access my personal email addys at work, a variety of IM programs and have the cellphone too...he he he. I am prepared for any situation!!! ROFL!!!


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jjiggl
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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2007 12:37

I haven't had cyber sex with someone in years and I am not interested in anyone that I have had cyber sex with. One reason is because cyber sex was just joking around for me. It was nothing that I received sexual satisfaction in but something that I enjoyed because I thought it was fun to fulfull someone's fantasy. I also enjoyed the attention. Also, I never cybered as my real self. Another reason is because I could not take anyone seriously who partook in cyber sex. I will admit that when I get to know someone, I do want to know what they will do in bed, but not explicitly. I also don't want to cyber with someone that I would like to meet because I want to be surprised at their "technique" if and when the real thing happens. When it comes to dating, I never anticipate having sex on the first date. Not because I don't think I won't want to, but because I don't think that I should. I don't want the awkwardness of that. Just my two cents.


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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2007 10:25

Well it's great to get a man's take on it. Listen I don't care how horney or needy you are, ya have to get to know someone first. I was recently in a new relationship, he was not the greatest in the lovemaking side but, he had an arrogant and rude side to him. I just let him go within two months. He became less and less attractive to me.

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stannosstacey
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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2007 03:04

Re: wyldechild write: Now what everyone forgot to mention was text message sex...*grin*. Nothing like a text message or two while sitting on a conference call, in a meeting, etc. WEG

Or by email during the workday? Great fun.


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wyldechild
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Posted on Sat, Aug 18, 2007 21:47

Mmmm, fun topic, no doubt about that!!! In my younger days, if I felt the desire, then I pursued that desire. It is a bit different now, my responsibilities have changed as have my priorities and outlook on life. I usually have sex when I decide I want to. Now granted, since my hubby passed away my personal life has been pretty quiet but I have my reasons for that. Cybersex I do enjoy but my modis operandi isn't about what I do for him, quite the opposite and it's not with just random people I meet. Is it a pasttime I engage in with any frequency? Nope. Phone sex. Lots of that with my hubby before I moved in. Let me say, there were quite a few unexpected flights out to visit him after a hot and heavy phone call...*wink*. But as with cybersex, it does not interest me to have phone sex with someone I am not serious with. Now what everyone forgot to mention was text message sex...*grin*. Nothing like a text message or two while sitting on a conference call, in a meeting, etc. WEG


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sat, Aug 18, 2007 14:08

Re: Scorpicious write: I've had different chemistry with different people and that chemistry has resulted in different expectations. Sometimes, it just sizzles between two people and so there will be an unspoken implication of what each of you expect. I have to wonder whether this whole "no sex on the first date" thing isn't just a way in which society can have some kind of control over it's moral compass. In my opinion, it falls into the same catagory as legal age for losing your virginity. Both concepts seem to be about saying "we don't feel you're mature enough to make the right decision by yourself, so we're going to set some boundaries for you." In Australia, 16 is the legal age, I believe it's higher in the USA, is that correct? I guess what I'm saying is that each situation (first date) is unique and while I think that a blanket "no sex" policy can certainly help in deciding if this person is worthy of the intimacy that is about to be given, I'd like to think that we can make that same determination without a safety net and be comfortable in our choice if sex is desired by both people.

scorpious... there is something to be said for getting to know someone before sleeping with them... not that I haven't sown my wild oats but im not particularly proud of myself for that either. Typical to think its standard practice to hold out on a horny man to control him in some way. Everyone knows we hold out so he wants us more. duh. =)


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sat, Aug 18, 2007 14:07

Re: Nisi32132 write: Hi AmuseMe, I would tend to agree with you on your points. You also pose an interesting question, cybersex and/or phone sex, it seems I've read that more women find it boring and the men find it titillating. Men are soooo easy.... Nat32132 Re: AmuseMe write: Oh, and no, I wouldn't end it after only a couple of dates if I didn't get any, but there had better be some heavy petting going on by the fifth date! SOMETHING so signify some physical prowess. If a guy expects sex on the first date and has the balls to express this, well, lets just say it would be our only date. Cyber sex? Cyber sex is silly teasing to me. I do masturbate, but not while I am sitting at the computer!! But pertaining to your question:I don't know what 'decision' you are referring to, but I think that cybering would cause you to WANT to meet that person and see if there is also physical chemistry... unless you are just embarassed about the whole thing. I dunno about that one, I'm not much of a cybermonkey.

hey nisi... well phone sex is a whole new ball game lol I enjoy it very much with someone I care deeply for when the time is right for such things.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sat, Aug 18, 2007 14:05

Re: Nisi32132 write: Hi AmuseMe, I would tend to agree with you on your points. You also pose an interesting question, cybersex and/or phone sex, it seems I've read that more women find it boring and the men find it titillating. Men are soooo easy.... Nat32132 Re: AmuseMe write: Oh, and no, I wouldn't end it after only a couple of dates if I didn't get any, but there had better be some heavy petting going on by the fifth date! SOMETHING so signify some physical prowess. If a guy expects sex on the first date and has the balls to express this, well, lets just say it would be our only date. Cyber sex? Cyber sex is silly teasing to me. I do masturbate, but not while I am sitting at the computer!! But pertaining to your question:I don't know what 'decision' you are referring to, but I think that cybering would cause you to WANT to meet that person and see if there is also physical chemistry... unless you are just embarassed about the whole thing. I dunno about that one, I'm not much of a cybermonkey.

hey nisi... well phone sex is a whole new ball game lol I enjoy it very much with someone I care deeply for when the time is right for such things.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sat, Aug 18, 2007 13:59

Re: Scorpicious write: I've had different chemistry with different people and that chemistry has resulted in different expectations. Sometimes, it just sizzles between two people and so there will be an unspoken implication of what each of you expect. I have to wonder whether this whole "no sex on the first date" thing isn't just a way in which society can have some kind of control over it's moral compass. In my opinion, it falls into the same catagory as legal age for losing your virginity. Both concepts seem to be about saying "we don't feel you're mature enough to make the right decision by yourself, so we're going to set some boundaries for you." In Australia, 16 is the legal age, I believe it's higher in the USA, is that correct? I guess what I'm saying is that each situation (first date) is unique and while I think that a blanket "no sex" policy can certainly help in deciding if this person is worthy of the intimacy that is about to be given, I'd like to think that we can make that same determination without a safety net and be comfortable in our choice if sex is desired by both people.

scorpious... there is something to be said for getting to know someone before sleeping with them... not that I haven't sown my wild oats but im not particularly proud of myself for that either. Typical to think its standard practice to hold out on a horny man to control him in some way. Everyone knows we hold out so he wants us more. duh. =)


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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Posted on Fri, Aug 17, 2007 18:08

damn right....if I have been camming with them for awhile I want to know it they can put out what they promise.lol


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Funpersonusa2000
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Posted on Fri, Aug 17, 2007 16:48

First date sex? I wouldn't expect it. I don't think I'd say "no" if my date let me know that she wanted to play. Heavy petting is certainly an indicator of things to come. Jon


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Posted on Fri, Aug 17, 2007 15:27

Hi AmuseMe, I would tend to agree with you on your points. You also pose an interesting question, cybersex and/or phone sex, it seems I've read that more women find it boring and the men find it titillating. Men are soooo easy.... Nat32132 Re: AmuseMe write: Oh, and no, I wouldn't end it after only a couple of dates if I didn't get any, but there had better be some heavy petting going on by the fifth date! SOMETHING so signify some physical prowess. If a guy expects sex on the first date and has the balls to express this, well, lets just say it would be our only date. Cyber sex? Cyber sex is silly teasing to me. I do masturbate, but not while I am sitting at the computer!! But pertaining to your question:I don't know what 'decision' you are referring to, but I think that cybering would cause you to WANT to meet that person and see if there is also physical chemistry... unless you are just embarassed about the whole thing. I dunno about that one, I'm not much of a cybermonkey.


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Posted on Fri, Aug 17, 2007 15:19

I've had different chemistry with different people and that chemistry has resulted in different expectations. Sometimes, it just sizzles between two people and so there will be an unspoken implication of what each of you expect. I have to wonder whether this whole "no sex on the first date" thing isn't just a way in which society can have some kind of control over it's moral compass. In my opinion, it falls into the same catagory as legal age for losing your virginity. Both concepts seem to be about saying "we don't feel you're mature enough to make the right decision by yourself, so we're going to set some boundaries for you." In Australia, 16 is the legal age, I believe it's higher in the USA, is that correct? I guess what I'm saying is that each situation (first date) is unique and while I think that a blanket "no sex" policy can certainly help in deciding if this person is worthy of the intimacy that is about to be given, I'd like to think that we can make that same determination without a safety net and be comfortable in our choice if sex is desired by both people.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Fri, Aug 17, 2007 06:24

Oh, and no, I wouldn't end it after only a couple of dates if I didn't get any, but there had better be some heavy petting going on by the fifth date! SOMETHING so signify some physical prowess. If a guy expects sex on the first date and has the balls to express this, well, lets just say it would be our only date. Cyber sex? Cyber sex is silly teasing to me. I do masturbate, but not while I am sitting at the computer!! But pertaining to your question:I don't know what 'decision' you are referring to, but I think that cybering would cause you to WANT to meet that person and see if there is also physical chemistry... unless you are just embarassed about the whole thing. I dunno about that one, I'm not much of a cybermonkey.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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AmuseMe
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Posted on Fri, Aug 17, 2007 05:59

If I date a guy more than once, you had better believe I am wanting some satisfaction. Maybe not on the second date, but there wouldn't BE a second date if he didn't get my juices flowing.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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bizzle49
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Posted on Thu, Aug 16, 2007 18:43

well I haven't typed with one hand in a very long time...cyber sex is kinda like Chinese food...a short time later you wonder what happened to all that you had. I don't think that diddling about online makes having date sex mandatory..it's just something to fill some kind of void. Real time sex is left to the moment I'd suppose.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Thu, Aug 16, 2007 14:14

Sex on the first date is a major NO-NO for me. In fact, I recently went out with someone who barely got out of the car going TO the restraunt, and he started talking about it. It was a massive turn-off for me. I couldn't wait to get home. I even texted my sister and parents while out and told them what a loser I was with. Now, THAT's sad. I haven't seen him since, even in passing, and I hope not to. An emotional connection is absolutely NECESSARY for me to "open up" in that manner. I'm not going to let someone get to know my "insides" unless I feel connected to them. Simple as that. I think I should be "worth the wait" for someone. If I'm not, then they're not worth MY wait! Oh*** and cyper/phone sex is not what I would consider "intimate". SO, I wouldn't consider it to be a prelude to what's going to happen on a first physical encounter (or date). There is no emotional attachemnt in phone sex--at lease there wouldn't be for me! I've not participated in events such as these, though I've heard they can be satisfying. (hmmmm....)


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