Quoting SweetCarmelBBBW:

Amuse,

Thank you.

Amuse,

Thank you.

Quoting AmuseMe:

lol thanks SweetCarmel.. has anyone ever told you you look like a Vivica Fox? You are gorgeous!

lol thanks SweetCarmel.. has anyone ever told you you look like a Vivica Fox? You are gorgeous!

In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

Quoting SweetCarmelBBBW:

Amuse, this is so good I had to print this for my very Southern Mother.

Amuse, this is so good I had to print this for my very Southern Mother.

Quoting honeybiscuit:

As an 8th generation Southern woman - I find all this quite flattering. Nice thread Amuse - I will have to save this one for inspiration when insanely embarrassing things happen here. This may just help me stay in the South.

Now I have a warning to add for folks in case they ever get down this way. If you ever hear a Southerner say, "hey watch this" -you should nothesistate or turn and look but run as far away and as fast as you can. I'm not gona explain it - think along the lines of "JackAss" and you should get the picture.

Oh yeah and as far as food goes any thing in the South considered a salad must contain jello.

As an 8th generation Southern woman - I find all this quite flattering. Nice thread Amuse - I will have to save this one for inspiration when insanely embarrassing things happen here. This may just help me stay in the South.

Now I have a warning to add for folks in case they ever get down this way. If you ever hear a Southerner say, "hey watch this" -you should nothesistate or turn and look but run as far away and as fast as you can. I'm not gona explain it - think along the lines of "JackAss" and you should get the picture.

Oh yeah and as far as food goes any thing in the South considered a salad must contain jello.

Quoting lougenessis:

bitterman405....hey!!!!!! lol

bitterman405....hey!!!!!! lol

Quoting worriedwasper:

soup beans and corn bread, sweettea..........respect for a lady, and all the kids address adults as miss.........or Mr. I love it when meeting a child and he or she says proud to meet you Miss Diane. Gosh lazy days at county fairs, and sitting on the back porch drinking beer and telling tall tales.I love it.

soup beans and corn bread, sweettea..........respect for a lady, and all the kids address adults as miss.........or Mr. I love it when meeting a child and he or she says proud to meet you Miss Diane. Gosh lazy days at county fairs, and sitting on the back porch drinking beer and telling tall tales.I love it.

Quoting wanda_world:

ROFLMAO!

I've had a long rough week. Thanks for the laughs!

ROFLMAO!

I've had a long rough week. Thanks for the laughs!

Quoting lougenessis:

all of it is so true and i'm proud to be a southern woman. i know and am familiar with all the cliches and i think they are all positive especially when you live them. thank you for sharing!!!

all of it is so true and i'm proud to be a southern woman. i know and am familiar with all the cliches and i think they are all positive especially when you live them. thank you for sharing!!!

Quoting bizzle49:

ahhh this all is what I really DO miss about living in FL! not to mention that sweet sweet sugary drawl that some of the ladies use as well

I'm fixin to move to Texas by the end of the year and shall hear all of this once more :>)

ahhh this all is what I really DO miss about living in FL! not to mention that sweet sweet sugary drawl that some of the ladies use as well

I'm fixin to move to Texas by the end of the year and shall hear all of this once more :>)

Quoting AmuseMe:

Ah, well the link isn't working so...

SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"


Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sundresses
Iced sweet tea

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerne rs make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

Ah, well the link isn't working so...

SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"


Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sundresses
Iced sweet tea

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerne rs make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser