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LF offers one week gold membership -
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My blog address: http://LargeFriends.com/blog/aimeefla
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Blog description:
I'm curious, what does LF consider a "quality comment" on a blog?
"One-week gold membership will be offered if there are 10 quality comments on your new blog."
Aimee is curious
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aimeefla's blog and others' comments
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When do you invite a new guy to your home?
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59 Views
06/30/09
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Hi everyone, I need, yes NEED opinions, here's the scenerio.
First, I'm 60, I do as I please, BUT three friends of mine said I'm sending the wrong message to a man if I've only met him once, talked on the phone for a month and exchanged emails, its too soon and too risky to invite him to watch a movie in my home.
I say, they are right with reservations for personal judgement. They are not saying anything about a sexual encounter. They are only saying it's the wrong message. I say they are right and wrong. At my age, I've been married, dating on and off line for ten years now. I use my gut to tell me if I'm taking the risk of being mugged in my own home. That's always an issue. But if I feel the risk is minimal after meeting him for one date, then I'll do it my way. The dating game has never worked for me, not even in high school or after for that matter.?
They feel that one should meet over time, about three weeks, four or five dates before ever inviting a man to your place. The message is i'ts okay I'm easy ! Depending on the situation, I can agree and disagree, it depends on the guy and the gal.
Now I want YOUR feelings. ( I bet the field will be split. )
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Men, how do you know when you're in love?
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88 Views
06/21/09
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Yes I am asking, I don't want to know about lust, only love.
How do you know? Do you get a rush? Do you crave to be with that person all the time? Is it something she does?
Do you want to care for her? Protect her? Keep her safe? Or is lust the driving force behind learning to live with a woman, then you cope and accept your decision?
Natalie respectufully wants to know
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Changes to the blogs -
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148 Views
04/26/09
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>
> Now when I log on I go straight to "chat" whether I want to or not, and I
> can only navigate between different areas (blogs, forums etc) by going
> back to the home page.
>
> Also noticed on the blogs that it show number of visits rather than number
> of comments - what's the use of that?!!
>
> I'm not one to stand in the way of progress but this seems like a big step
> back rather than an improvement ... anyone else noticed any differences?
> Or maybe folk have asked for it to be this way?
> **************************
> Truefriendinme wrote;
> Who's been messing with LF?Obviously someone whose chosen career path
> needs some serious landmarks!
>
> I am also frustrated by seeing the same "most popular" blogs on top; this
> is most redundant, since the most popular are usually what is listed
> first, with the default being most recent posting!
>
> I don't like that we can't spell check or preview the post-- we have to
> copy, remove and re-post after pasting and correcting, to correct a
> grammatical error.
>
> And who CARES how many views? We can see that information on individual
> profiles. I would most like to see how many replies-- just as Oz
> mentioned.
>
> Posts for non-paying members are taking MUCH longer to be uploaded. You
> may as well take a vacation if you post over the weekend. Check for it
> AFTER you collect your luggage!
>
> Yup. It's changes like this that make me think of some creepy little
> person sitting behind a desk, trying desperately
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Past 20 - Future 20+
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150 Views
04/24/09
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This is a simple, yet very thought provoking questions. it's in two parts.?
1] What do you regret not doing in the past 20 years???
2] What do you want to NOT regret doing in the next 20 years?
My answer,
1] In the past twenty years I must say I only regret a few things. Not going back for my degree in Social Work.? I regret not walking everyday.
2] In twenty years I'll be 80- I want not regret taking a cruise or several.
I want to not regret taking a risk to find a companion, partner - husband or significant other.
I want to not regret walking everyday.
Natalie
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Dates that are not going to break the bank?
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216 Views
04/10/09
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Yes, I've been missing. I've been on Hiatus from me to become 720 months old. I LOVE IT !!! Yes you can do the math.
Okay now, I want to ask this question. How has the recession - job loss - increased prices for everything, effected your dating style?
Have you met a guy that is just down to zero becuase of the recession but he seems to be a great guy anyway? Did you give up movies out or dinners out for movies at home and cooking?
Do you have more money than he does because you're still working?
Have you found that as a result of the recession and massive job loss that there are more men willing to look your way? ( yes, this is a bit tacky but I want to know )
What has changed in your life because of the recession? Keeping dating as the main focus here.
Thanks,
Natalie - Fla
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Attending a Dance as a couple
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132 Views
02/19/09
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I have this question, here's the scenario.
You go to a dance with the person you're dating for about four months now. Most of the people at the dance know you both as a couple. You attend this dance often.
A women comes up to my partner, asked if he wants to dance. He accepts and they get on the dance floor. He thanks her and then comes back to sit next to me.
I want to know, is this a normal thing to do? If I did not want to get up for that particular dance? Would you be upset? or just let it slide?
It does happen from time to time, each time the same. After the dance he thanks the lady and returns to my side.
I honestly don't get angry, I think it's fine actually since I was not in the mood to dance that dance.
What about the rest of you? How wwould you handle it?
Natalie
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Toys
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220 Views
02/12/09
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What I have in mind is toys that we played with as children. What was your favorite childhood toy???
(Okay get your mind out of the ... Never mind.)
I remember metal slinkies,paddle ball,jaxs,they funky stuff, in a tube, you would put a blob on the end of a thin straw and make a lovely bubble to play with, plastic bubbles I think it was called. Dominos, those airplanes you put together, they crashed and broke, dolls of course.
What do you remember and have you found them on the internet??
Nat
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After serious & cautious consideration . . .
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131 Views
12/23/08
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After serious & cautious consideration . . .
Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009!
It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!
My Wish for You in 2009
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words . .
May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
Aimee aka Nat !!!
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Dating - traditional or non-traditional ideas
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191 Views
09/29/08
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I've been thinking, with gas high, banks failing, a depression oppps sorry a recession, politics being annoying etc etc., I have lots of time to think :-)
I've heard a few guys complain about ladies that accept a date, eat, get an "emergency" call and run off. They do this over and over with different guys it seems.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO my point is.
Dates are not dinner anymore. I wanted to get ideas from this wonderful group on non-traditional dates that are cost effective for both. I usually pay my way for the first few times.
I've done some non-traditional dates. There is no money involved just precious time spent with someone.
National parks, to see the manatees. Downtown art shows, window shopping in antique stores, walking around any quaint downtown area.
What other ideas do you for a cost effective, wonderful date experience?
Aimee Fla
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More Dating Tips by David Wygant-dating coach
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48 Views
09/22/08
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How to Handle Rejection
Five essential dating tips to stay confident after getting denied
By Dating coach David Wygant Special!
Personals Updated: Sep 15, 2008
Dating coach David Wygant
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So there you are at the deli getting a ham sandwich, when that person you're attracted to comes and stands next to you at the counter. You've seen them over and over again, and you finally have the guts to turn and smile at them... and they do nothing in return. They almost look right through you like you don't exist.
So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as quickly as you can, saying to yourself, "I will never do that again. This doesn't work." Is this the best way to deal with rejection? How do you personally deal with rejection? More importantly, are you someone who believes that if you become "good" at dating you will no longer get rejected?
The dating truth is that being able to deal with rejection is the key to being successful at going out and meeting singles. It's also not the ultra-significant event so many make it out to be. So here are five essential tips on how to handle rejection, which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life:
1. Change Your Dating Expectations. One of the first and most important things to understand is that no matter what you do, not everybody is going to respond positively to you. Not everyone you smile at will smile back at you. Not everyone you say hello to is going to say hello back to you.
?Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time.?
Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time. Just because somebody did not smile back at you does not mean that you're not an attractive person or that you made a mistake by smiling. The only thing it means is that it did not work with that one person.
2. Life Is All About Rejection. Everything in life has rejection involved in it. If you're a salesperson who makes 10 sales calls, you may only get one or two people to say yes. A baseball player whose batting average is around 300 will likely end up in the Hall of Fame. A quarterback who can complete 55 percent of his passes is doing pretty well. Everything in life is about percentages. You don't quit simply because you experienced some rejection. Imagine if you stopped looking for work when your very first interview didn't result in a job offer. That would, of course, be ridiculous. Remember that you also need to keep going in your dating life when you're rejected, because you want to keep increasing your odds of success.
3. Focus on Increasing Your Dating Odds. When you feel like you are getting more than your fair share of rejections, instead of focusing on those rejections, focus on increasing your odds of success. The fact is that by playing the percentages as I mentioned above, you will be successful.
?The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it.?
The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say hello, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it. If you're going to go out there and only talk to one person a day, then your chances of success are not going to be great. Increase your odds every single day and in everything you're doing.
4. Keep Things in Perspective. I hear some version of this from clients all the time: "What if I approach somebody, get rejected, and someone sees me? I'll never be able to go in that store again!" Get a little perspective here. Let me tell you something -- you're not front page news! When you're rejected, you need to just get over it. No one is talking about you. People are concerned about themselves and what is going on in their own lives, just as you are focused on what's going on in yours. So the fact that you get rejected in front of other people at the market, at the gym, or anywhere else is not a big deal to anyone but you.
5. Don't Overreact When Dating. The other thing I commonly hear from clients who have been rejected is some version of this: "I'm never going to talk to that person ever again now that I was rejected by them." This is not only a total overreaction, it is also absolutely the wrong thing to do. So you tried to talk to (or smile or look at) someone, and they didn't respond. As I mentioned above, there are a million possible reasons why that person did not respond to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that person wouldn't want to talk to you another time. If I smile at a woman and she doesn't respond, I don't play hide-and-go-seek the next time I see her. I am equally friendly to her the next time I see her, because you never know what will happen that second time. It's a different day. Put the last time behind you.
These are some ways to help you get over rejection. Realize that in order to get good at interacting with potential mates, you are going to get rejected. In fact, you want to get rejected every single day, because if you're not, it means you're not trying.
So ask yourself this: Did you get rejected today, and how can you go out tomorrow and make it an even better day than today? Learn to not only handle but to embrace rejection, and you will meet great new people and have an amazing social life.
More Dating Tips by David Wygant
* 10 Sure-fire Ways to Get a Second Date
* 10 Tips for Approaching Women
* 13 Keys to a Perfect First Date
* 3 Keys to Meeting Women
* 6 Tips for Single Moms: How to Jumpstart Your Dating Life
* 7 Dating Ups and Downs
* Actions Speak Louder Than Words
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Road Map? Instruction manual? how to date me
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218 Views
09/16/08
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My friend and I were talking about how to get a man to read our profiles not just look at the pictures.
Men read maps - men read instruction manuals what else do men read and how do you create a profile that looks like an instruction manual as a profile to date a woman?
Should we outline our profile?
Should be put in number order?
do an A - B -C?
how do you make it easy for a man to look through a profile?
I really think women do read the profiles, not just look at pictures for the prettiest face and body style that they like.
Okay how ????
Aimee Fla
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Dating expert Lisa Steadman
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69 Views
09/13/08
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Dating 101: Are Bad Dating Habits Keeping You Single?
Five tips to free yourself from common dating traps
By Lisa Steadman, The Relationship Journalist Special Updated: Aug 28, 2008
Dating expert Lisa Steadman
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In the search for love, it's all too easy to get sidetracked by bad dates, broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken hearts are part of the dating journey toward happily-ever-after, bad love habits can and should be avoided at all costs.
So what's a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, difficult belief or habit you have towards love and relationships that's keeping you from finding, attracting, and/or maintaining a healthy relationship. The following are some common bad dating beliefs:
* You choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs.
* You think love has to be difficult, painful, and/or hard.
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?You think your potential partner is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your life.?
You think your potential partner is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your life.
* You believe time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children.
If any of the above sound familiar, don't worry. You're not a lost cause. In fact, with a little time and effort, you can turn things around! What follows are five simple and effective tips and techniques geared toward helping you break free of limiting relationship beliefs and bad dating habits. Practiced over time, you can and will kick any bad dating habit -- for good!
1. Identify the dating traps you're stuck in
Think you've got to miraculously solve all your problems before you'll be deserving of love? Convinced there are no good "ones" left? Or do you believe that your perfect partner will one day swoop in and magically save you from your life? If any or all of the above sound familiar, chances are good that you suffer from some common dating traps. In order to become a successful single, you first need to free yourself from these traps. Acknowledging the traps you're stuck in is the first step. Next, you've got to break free of these traps, as well as any other limiting or destructive beliefs that are keeping you stuck. To find out how, keep reading.
2. Assess your excess baggage
Next, it's important to get honest with yourself about what you might be lugging around with you on dates (or in life in general). What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment, betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. If you've got negative or destructive beliefs or fears weighing you down, you owe it to yourself to dump that excess baggage!
3. Dump your excess baggage
In order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe you deserve finding a mate. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and tell them they've got to go. Thank them for the lessons you've learned and tell them that it's now time for you to stand on your own two feet. In your mind's eye, give them the heave-ho! Next, start visualizing the kind of life you want to have, complete with your dream job, perfect partner, ideal home, etc. By getting clear about what you want, you give yourself permission to attract it.
4. Stop putting off your life and/or personal happiness
So many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result like "I'll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I get a better job." The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously imperfect life right this very minute!
?When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting and new opportunities.?
When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting and new opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until something external happens, today's the day to start celebrating the joy in your everyday life.
5. Embrace a new dating vocabulary
Now that you're baggage light and dating-trap free, it's time to introduce a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself "Love/dating/my ideal relationship is..." and then fill in the blank with the appropriate words (words like healthy, whole, loving, fun, etc.). By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes, and as a result, you'll start attracting happier and healthier potential partners. Love that!
So there you have it -- five simple dating tips and techniques to help you break free of limiting relationship beliefs and bad love habits. May you learn them, love them, live them. In doing so, you just may fall in love with your life all over again, not to mention exponentially increase your chances of future relationship success.
Good luck and happy dating!
More Related Dating Advice:
* Dating 101: Debunking the Scarcity Myth
* Four Tips for the Broken-Hearted
* Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away
* The Worst Dating Mistakes by Men and Women
It's A Breakup, Not A Breakdown
Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist, is an expert when it comes to matters of the heart. As creator of the popular blog The Breakup Chronicles, she dispenses advice, helps people heal their broken hearts, and coaches individuals on how to become successful singles on her site. She is the author of the book "It's A Breakup, Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life -- for good!" Lisa regularly appears in the media and has been featured on The Today Show, The Tyra Banks Show, The Huffington Post and Playboy Radio.
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Who's responsible for...?
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196 Views
09/13/08
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I have been reading these blogs and they always give me cause to think things through in different ways.
This time I want to explore the question "Who's responsible for..."
1] me not trusting
2] me not letting someone into my life
3] my anger
4] my hurt
5] my loneliness
6] my well being
7] my happiness
8] finding someone to love
9] my pain
10] allowing someone to see the real me
11] my responsiblity to me
I know that it's difficult to trust again. I also know that the new person that I've allowed into my life is not responsible for my past pain, etc. I am, I'm responsible for all of my numbers. That's the bottom line. Did I cause it? I believe to some degree we do have to admit that we had a hand in it. We agreed to the relationship, good or bad.
Now that I know this, the new person in my life it only responsible for today and tomorrow, not yesterday.
Aimee Fla
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When do you tell your past?
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163 Views
09/03/08
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Here's the scenario, you meet someone that you're instantly attracted to in all the important ways. You're out on your second date, but first "official" date after meeting.
Do you tell that person the good and the bad about you? You know the stuff that's important long term. For instance, medical issues, others that you dated that you might run into at stores or functions because they live in the area. Financial issues that are important? Family issues?
What and when do you tell someone that you're interested in for the long haul?
Aimee - wants to know :-D
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