The mystery of the grey people.
Who are they? They're the people with no photo on their profile.
It took me a lot of soul-searching to decide to go on a dating site. I've heard & read all the comments about internet dating being for losers, desperados, people with no social skills & so on. There may well be some people like that, but here's a newsflash - there may be some people like that in a pub, club, party, class, where you work, in fact anywhere that you could meet other people, so why should the internet be any different? It's still about people, & we come in all shapes & sizes. I'm not a loser or desperado & my social skills haven't been found wanting so far - I'm just someone who's had some failed relationships, has been hurt by some more than others, but who has recovered enough to know I want to be part of a relationship again. A lot of us, most of us, feel the same way. I see little point in hiding what I look like - it's not like I'm going to look radically different if/when we meet, is it? My photo makes it very clear that I'm not blonde, & my profile lets people know they won't be getting a size 8 model on their arm, & laying out some money allows me to upload several photos showing me in varying states of embarrassment if I wish. So I honestly don't see the big deal about it.
Maybe I'm missing a trick here, but I thought the point of being a member was to meet someone you're compatible with, with both of you getting what you want out of the relationship. I've looked through several profiles over the last few hours, & I've found loads of people who've been members for ages but who either still haven't paid for a subscription or haven't uploaded a photo or both. In addition, some have hardly put any info in their profiles. So are they saying that they expect other people to find them interesting enough to contact on the basis of a few scant details & no photo, & to top it off they're also not prepared to lay out any cash for them to be able to contact you. You've got to do all the running to get them. It doesn't really sound appealing, does it? If someone approached you in a pub & you answered every question with "I'm not telling you", how long do you think they'd hang around? :)
I'm me, & I'll still be me for a long time after someone's looked at my profile. I genuinely don't see the point of joining & then not making the most of the services available from the site. Yet some people seem to sign up then expect you to in effect chase them. Well, if that tactic hasn't worked for them in life so far, why would it work on the internet? What's wrong with them investing some money in THEIR future? Why should it all be one-sided? If we're going to do this, isn't this the time when we should be investing in ourselves? I know it's a risk, but aren't all things involving our hearts a risk?
I wasn't expecting to find the love of my life so quickly, but neither was I expecting to find so many people apparently lethargic about getting a relationship that could be meaningful, whether that be friendship or something more long-term/committed. It's really deflating to see it. Not paying for a membership that allows you to be more proactive when you've been registered for ages is one thing, but not even uploading a photo? I've never met a guy yet who didn't have a photo of themselves, but to look at some of the profiles here, there are obviously loads of them I've missed! And what gets me as well is that some of these people are quick to tell you that they just something casual & non-commital (I've actually seen the words "up for a quick rogering" in someone's requirements of a woman, I kid you not), yet they don't want us to see what they look like! I know it shouldn't be all about the face, but if we can decide the sort of bodies we're attracted to, why not faces too? :)