Last night i had a big argument with one of my parents - it turns out that they had a VERY low impression of me which went beyond the typical parental criticism - i told them that apart from being deeply hurt, i was disappointed that they were capable of even thinking that of me and it also suggested that -despite me being such a bad person in their eyes, their love was as if they were doing me a favour!!
Since I KNOW i am not the person they described - i suggested the problem was with them, their fears, insecurities, etc - not me... I walked away upset, hurt and disappointed in their lack of maturity BUT happy that I judged myself by MY standards not theirs
It got me to thinking - how well do we know our parents as human beings? are we always "children"? do we always judge ourselves by our parents' standards (which may be flawed) or our own?
In my mind seeing the person in the parent- with all their flaws and issues and being able to separate the relevant and good bits from the bad bits - is a key transition to being an Adult human being...
meeting new people as an "investment" or as something worth doing in its own right?
by "investment" i mean - you have to spend time to get to know someone and find out if they are THE ONE/ Mr-Ms RIGHT.. and its an investment now becuase you eventually get the "good bits" i.e. a longer term/committed relationship in the future
by something worth doing in its own right i mean - you enjoy meeting people and EVEN if it is MR-MS RIGHT you think - I'm enjoying it for what it is now
I hope this makes sense..
so which person are you: INVESTOR, or a MAKE THE MOST OF NOW person?
not be prepared to commit to a long-term or serious relationship?
to put it another way, many people come out of divorce, longterm relationships, have kids and are single, serious jobs or travel a lot - there are many circumstances where they might not want to make long term plans with someone. does that rule out a loving relationship?